Sounds

breaking the sound barrier

     Sounds

 

...of the male

          cooing his mate

...of the gulf

          spraying its breath

 ...of the phoner

          spouting his views

...of the boppers

          planning their night

 

All while I take in

the sounds all about me

bombarding my senses

               engulfing my thoughts

     sounds

 

…of the seagulls

          testing my patience

…of the music

          broadcast by ipod

…of the mother

          minding her children

…of the old man

          “whating” his wife

 

                      This while I sit here

                      and hope I’m not dumped on

                      soaking in sound waves

                      from hither and yon

     sounds

 

…of the flags

          flapping their ‘legience

…of the lifeguard

          blowing his whistle

…of the machos

          tossing the football

…of the pongers

          missing their targets

 

            visual noises

            stretching their links

            collapsing and lapping

            under the burden

     sounds

 

…of the mindless

          setting and spiking

…of the ladies

          letting their views show

…of the beer cans

          popping and fizzing

…of my breathing

          relaxed and at ease

 

     sounds

 

…of the children

          enjoying and playing

…of the babies

          crying and puling

…of my heart

          racing in rhythm

…of the laughter

          surrounding my blanket

 

            excitement abounds

            as I paw at the sand

            and realize there’s nothing

            like being alive

 

                   …and hearing the sounds

 

 

 

 

           

 

 

Author's Note

Written February 12, 2012
Naturally I want your feed back on the content....but also on a physical, logistical feature of this write... The first stanza is different than the rest of the poem in that it has the ellipsis (...) after the word "sounds..." while the others have them before each line. I would like your opinion as to which form works best for you.
thanks, allen

Reviews

[Mary C]

Thought provoking piece . I find it works well

[zero binty]

I really don't think you should have to ask anyone for their opinion of what works best for them. Like I tell everybody else, it's not what keeps their interest, it is the expression of what interests you. That being said, I particularly love the fact that you focus on one sense that is rarely given notice. Well done mah fren'.

[Leslie Philibert]

Allen writes fine poetry as well as producing excellent prose.The structure is fine, I would leave it as it is,and what impresses me is the fact that you are a fine observer,lots of great observations here, coupled with your own impressions.This is like a lyrical photo. Good work.

[?]

Allen, this was simply wonderful!
I found myself sitting there on the beach...hearing...seeing...these sounds and more.
I find myself sometimes just sitting with my eyes closed out on my deck and listening to all the beautiful and not so beautiful sounds to be heard. And when you get lost in the sounds it is as if you are actually seeing them (even while your eyes are closed) I love that feeling...it is sort of a feeling of being or even coming alive.

Actually I like the ....before each line in this piece, but they both work and work well together. Great piece! I loved it!

[Cassie Fraga]

oooohhh man, it was like I was right there with you to hear everything!! love the format, and message!! BRILLIANT WRITE!!!

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the set-up of this poem. The set-up gave the poem balance and logic. With each example of sound the poem gain strength and purpose. I like the flow and the good description. I could hear the good and bad noises in a good vision. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[RainQueen]

I agree with the others. Both forms work very well, but I prefer the first stanza.

Now to the content...Fantastic. There are those of us whose souls live in the cool embrace of the mountains and trees, and others whose souls are salved by the ocean, who crave that salty roaring embrace, and who are simply right when we are there. When the beach and ocean are in your works, you soul sings out louder. Not that this obscures the message in any way...

The cacophony in which we dwell - It can be white noise, an irritant, or a rich, sumptuous feast. You describe that so very well.

[Sometimes Blood]

I prefer the format of the first stanza, but like Chris wrote, they both work..good piece

[patricia]

I was taken on a tour through this, images and audio...I loved the seagulls bit...there was so much in this I liked. Thankyou.