Sounds

breaking the sound barrier

     Sounds

 

...of the male

          cooing his mate

...of the gulf

          spraying its breath

 ...of the phoner

          spouting his views

...of the boppers

          planning their night

 

All while I take in

the sounds all about me

bombarding my senses

               engulfing my thoughts

     sounds

 

…of the seagulls

          testing my patience

…of the music

          broadcast by ipod

…of the mother

          minding her children

…of the old man

          “whating” his wife

 

                      This while I sit here

                      and hope I’m not dumped on

                      soaking in sound waves

                      from hither and yon

     sounds

 

…of the flags

          flapping their ‘legience

…of the lifeguard

          blowing his whistle

…of the machos

          tossing the football

…of the pongers

          missing their targets

 

            visual noises

            stretching their links

            collapsing and lapping

            under the burden

     sounds

 

…of the mindless

          setting and spiking

…of the ladies

          letting their views show

…of the beer cans

          popping and fizzing

…of my breathing

          relaxed and at ease

 

     sounds

 

…of the children

          enjoying and playing

…of the babies

          crying and puling

…of my heart

          racing in rhythm

…of the laughter

          surrounding my blanket

 

            excitement abounds

            as I paw at the sand

            and realize there’s nothing

            like being alive

 

                   …and hearing the sounds

 

 

 

 

           

 

 

Author's Note

Written February 12, 2012
Naturally I want your feed back on the content....but also on a physical, logistical feature of this write... The first stanza is different than the rest of the poem in that it has the ellipsis (...) after the word "sounds..." while the others have them before each line. I would like your opinion as to which form works best for you.
thanks, allen

Reviews

[Sugar Plum ♥]

Oh no, really I can feel dizzy now from so many sounds!!! :) its very nice, original, I loved the way you make me really hear all in my head, its too much and too strange...Just I could end wanting a death after all sounds above me...:)
where is silenece?

[Becky C Strukamp]

I love the structure of this poem, it flows beautifully and needs no adjusting, very creative Allen, the structure perfectly matches the written words, I could read this one over and over again. There's a magical quality that lives in this one, beautifully composed my friend!

[Priscilla Sayers]

Wonderfully written with a soothing flow. A wonderous notion.... To be ALIVE, and really sink your teeth into your senses. Bravo!

[_]

you don't need any feeback... your writing is legit by itself!!!!!

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Nice imagery in this and form, I like the ending very much. I like the ellipsis as is.

[Mark]

I like the ellipses before each subsequent line in the group.
As to the poem itself, having spent a large part of my youth in Southern California, within a mile or two of the Pacific, I just wanted to close my eyes and sway in time to the rhythm of the surf, Allen. This stupid, beatific smile just won't leave my face, d***you!

[Chris Yip]

Artistic with a sense of mathematical rhythm. Explores the world of sound well with a wide spectrum of occasions and events. Starts well with the 'Sounds......' I like it.
Explores poetry in abstract, subjective and objective forms on all types of sounds.
Well done and very original with good presentation.

[Brad]

love the construction of this and the style reminds me of Ferlinghetti (via "these are my rivers"). a humble speak on the truth of social dynamics...especially from a testosterone point of view. bravo!

[AK]

That was thought provoking.
Sound though only one thing can be perceived in many different ways. Each paragraph has a different story to tell. Great write! I think it's perfect and needs no changes:D

[Wolf's Dark Song]

I enjoyed this piece, the format and structure. It was easy and a fun poem, hitting home strongly how sound is everywhere. We are lost without it.