V-Day, Belated

Anatomically sound, befitting a king

swaying alertly in the waves, I sing.

Hearts, at sea, floundering and pounding

against the cavity of my chest, astounding.

 

V-Day arriving, and leaving without me

swimming with shellfish and sharks at sea.

Satisfying love’s unique quality,

and breathlessly waiting for me to be we.

 

Tortuously lying in the keel’s utter mist

waves exploding above, below and amidst.

contemplating all that I ever wished,

remembering when, at first we last kissed.

 

V-Day, a special enchanting display,

lovingly speeding, though slightly astray.

Wishing you love in a happiness way,

throughout a belated Valentine’s Day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

February 15, 2009

Author's Note

written: February 15, 2009

Reviews

[Helen Crutchett]

Oh beautifully penned. I love the romantic flowing tides throughout this lovely Valentine's poem. Thanks for submitting to the contest! ~ Helena

[Sugar Plum ♥]

oh ,nice ,playful, like you are moving the words by magical way! I liked this expression much :
remembering when, at first we last kissed.

[Sahar moonlight]

Very beautifully expressed.
This is one of the best Valentine Poems i've read.
Though am reading it really late

[Mrs.Lovett]

This" very pretty and I love how you compared it to the sea. Very nice =)

[Chris Yip]

Lovely poem, romantic and emotional. definitely based on true life experience and emotions. Very sentimental and touching of long time lovers meeting again. Well rhymed and timed. I enjoyed it especially its rhythm and flow plus timing. the syllables are well arranged bringing this quiet yet powerful poem to full bloom with the rhyming ending. Well done again.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

I really like this and the fact of the words "belated Valentine's Day" in the poem just like the title, and the date the poem was written. Nice. I like the imagery in this.

[Mark]

I would like to offer an alternative to the first stanza, so that the pattern of "same end sound to all four lines" could be consistent:

"Befitting a King, anatomically sound
"In the waves is where my soul's fulness abounds
"When at sea, does my heart, though wearied, yet pound
"Within the walls of my chest, it strongly resounds."

I know. Really, I do: Presumptuous as hell of me. It's not like it's not already a beautiful piece. It IS! But where I see a pattern with a chink in it, something sweeps over me NEEDING to fix it. Sorry...

[Tate Morgan]

A day to be etched in stone.Where they so different from us ? Sure seems so

[_]

tee hee hee that was wicked so beautifully written with a perfect flow :3

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A great Valentine's poem, very romantic. I really enjoyed reading this, it has a nice rhythm to it that made it fun to read.