Unknown Voyage

first published piece in college newspaper.

Set sail for an unknown voyage,

Deep, deep, deep within my mind.

A book without a written page.

An actor without the Broadway stage.

 

Drift, drift, drift, for thirty score.

Forget all life; forget mankind.

Delve, indagate, search and explore,

the coming of peace and the end of war.

 

Enter now, what will be the end.

Only the cruel are left behind.

Trapped in a world that will transcend,

With phonies and liars, too hard to mend.

 

We’ll set sail for that mystical place,

Where never a word is said unkind.

Gaze, gaze, gaze without a trace

Upon war and hate and pure disgrace.

 

To enter my mind, I will admit

Is like entering the sea totally blind.

Sink, sink, sink within the travelled pit.

No one knows how you will benefit.

 

Rest, rest, rest in that silken bed.

The trip you’re on is hard to define.

You’re aware of your trunk, your limbs, your head.

Not quite the voyage; my travelers...we're dead.

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

December 7, 1968 (19 years old)
First posted on April 19, 2011 and still, nary a peep. I wonder why that is.
90+ views...It's ok to comment, if it sucks too. That's how we improve...
writers??
I did tweak the last line..but I'm open to any and all suggestions.

Reviews

[Sahar moonlight]

The first stanza was spectacular!
And the rest was more than that!
This one is surely one of the best. Directly to favorites!
Thanks for sharing.

[lee von cleef]

Well this little cafe, is dark and I don't get around much after I found people I like to read, ie right below me here "Emma Joy" now I have found you I will try to read more....No your poem does not suck.

[emmajoy]

' .. Drift, drift, drift, for thirty score. ~ Forget all life; forget mankind... '

A wonderfully, sadly musical piece of writing, repeated words adding a somehow urgency for readers to take notice. The core of this couldn't be more truthful: the uncaring, indifferent and repeated mistakes through history. And, we wonder why! We adults have forever behaved like children, won't ever be told. Then comes the day when it's too late and we're enveloped in your final stanza.

This should hae been read and, over and over - food for thought, here, Allen.

[Sheila Kline]

I offer no suggestions as your message is profound, and should not have gone so long without a first review! (I note there have been reviews since your author's note)
I like your choice of message, style and manner chosen to delve deep into one's mind. You make me feel as if I am going a bit deeper into your thought process with each new verse, and then the ending......WHAM!.......is hard hitting and one not soon forgotten!
Excellent write!!

[AlexValkyrie]

Very well written. I loved it.

[Talal Hussain]

Such a wonderful write..got lost somewhere in my imagination after reading this :-)

[Sunni Davis]

I love the images that come to mind when I read this. life is a fantastic journey. Thank you for sharing a bit of yours.

[Ruth]

Oh wow...you never fail to impress! This is a journey of golden epiphany...one to twist rationality in the back xoxo

[Tate Morgan]

We’ll set sail for that mystical place,

Where never a word is said unkind.

Gaze, gaze, gaze without a trace

Upon war and hate and pure disgrace.

I like this stanza best Your is surly the mind of a writer and a good man

[Kruppz]

The predominant use of repetition gives an edge to the poetry. Very poetic, indeed. I really love your style & flow. :)