As an owner of two bypass operations and three stents, I identified with this poem immediately. I wouldn't change a single word. Great internal rhymes, tight syntax, fast moving. Love it!
I really liked the repetitive words in each stanza. Gives a sense of a rush, a suddenly too high. At least it seems like an overdose experience to me. From an outsider looking in. Very nice. A good fast past tempo with a short stanza to keep the breath racing to keep up in pace. Yet another beautiful peace.
I like to try and make small suggestions in most of my reviews. Some poems I don't think need them, my other review didn't have one, but the only thing I see in this, and I don't know if you do this for every rhyme you write, but rhymes don't have to be exact. Rhymes are relative. It's just to aide the flow of the poem, nothing more.
My husband went through this six years ago, and I am just happy that nasty plasty worked so well! At least you and he are still here to appreciate it. This poem is great - loved the cadence and the rhyme. Very effective.
I will say I commend you for the efforts of this write... One can't just put this on black and white without going through the experience... To life and many more days to come...
Wow so sorry to hear sweetheart.. My friend had this done last year but I had no idea what it was.. It is better to live with it then die without it? Cute rhyme.. xo shallimarRose
I'm a poet, a singer, a peaceful gunslinger..
looking to share my poetry..and a little bit of me...if I dare
I 've been writing since I was 18.... am slightly older now, and still trying to fin.. more..