On Cooking and Life

a soliloquy.

From the greatest sadness often comes the greatest joy. A door closed is just another chance at infinite wonder. How should we judge beauty if there is no ugliness in the world? Joy without sorrow? Laughter without tears? I am a believer in sadness. I am also a believer in happiness. They are not mutually exclusive lovers.

People say that sadness causes pain, but I don’t agree.

Today, I lost something dear to me. Something I did not expect to loose.

Heartbreak is not a cliché. It’s like the breaking of a fresh loaf of bread. One moment it’s whole, beautiful and strong. Protected by a hard crust. But it doesn’t take much to break it open. It will never be the same again. The pieces can be fit back together, and if left alone on a table, they may look whole, but something was lost. From that tear comes the aroma. The warm, steamy comfort of safety. No matter how close you hold the pieces together, that steam will disperse now.

But isn’t that what breaking bread is all about. It’s sharing that love with the people around you. What more noble a reason to destroy?

I don’t think the pain of sadness comes form the breaking of the bread, but from the smell. It reminds us of the full potential of what was. The very best of it. And it was great. It still is. It’s just not as it was. Pieces, not a loaf.

Cooking is the perfect way of loving. It’s completely unselfish, selfless almost. What does a plate of food demand but to be enjoyed? Hours can be spent making everything perfect, seasoning every element until together they glow, sometimes even crying into the soup, if that’s what it takes. Then the plates get taken out and you’re left alone in the kitchen.

Maybe you tear a chunk out of a piece of bread.

It doesn’t matter how much you loved your food, how much energy and pain went into it. It will be gone within the hour.

A cook does not leave anything behind. A piece of art can last hundreds of years, it takes maintenance, attention. A plate of food is gone. It does not even have performing art’s trick of being recorded. A picture doesn’t taste all that good.

At least, when the breads all gone, we can always bake another loaf.

It’s beautiful, but sometimes the constant change hurts.

I’ve tried to live my life the way I cook. I’m always searching for new ingredients, new spices. I experiment, and sometimes those experiments are inedible. Sometimes they are delicious, but I can’t remember how I got there. I like to keep things fresh, not overcook anything. I stick by a schedule, but adjust for the unforeseen. I follow the rules because no matter how much black tea I have burns still hurt like hell. It’s important to compartmentalize when cooking. Raw over there, cooked over here. This in the oven, this on the stove. And no mixing utensils or double dipping. Most of all though, I try to love like food does. I usually get this part wrong.

So I bake a new loaf.

And another one.

I was never much of a baker. Cooks almost never are.

But damn it, I can make a great smile. And I’m not half-bad at laughter ether. Sometimes I have trouble measuring all the ingredients for optimism, a bit too much pepper usually gets in, and I’m rubbish at faith and trust. Comfort is a specialty of mine and goes well with a side of insanity.

No matter what your main course is though, dessert is always darker. Granted, it’s richer, and best eaten slowly with a candle on the table and dimmed lights, but there is always something melancholic about dessert. I think it’s because it’s the end of something.

As I said, I was never that good of a baker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! WOW! And WOW! This is so rich & imaginative! I love your uninhibited thoughts & expressions, plus the way your message meanders in & around interesting details & comparisons between cooking & life. I'm a big fan of making bread from scratch, so I could relate to so much of this. I love the way you use all the senses in your descriptions, which is so important when it comes to food. I also love the philosophical connections you make thru-out your fun explanations! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Justin]

that was really good :) with cooking, you are able to be creative and make dish that is well known your own by putting something else in it or changing how it looks ;)

[MoriartyMesa]

Speaking as a for real Pastry Chef, there are too many comparisons to real life that line with pastry. Bread and humanity require the time and skill of baking bread... I ENJOYED THIS.

[CrystalMB]

I loved your comparison of a loaf of bread to a breaking heart. A lot of what I find inspiring is the idea of finding beauty and love through sadness (a recurring theme in my life) and this piece captures that idea well. Your opening line was wonderful -- definitely caught my attention and made me want to keep reading.

Keep up the great work.

[The Nude Writer]

Wow! Amazing story :)

[Nick.B]

Interesting piece, love how you started this story "People say that sadness causes pain, but I don’t agree. " Hmmm, after I've finished reading this it has some unexplainable feeling, interesting how your words captivated the reader....great job

[Patrick Henry]

I LOVE it!! I can relate to the "accidental perfection" we feel when creating something, and find your story to be a most endearing one for the holidays right now.... : ) I'm thirsty, hungry, excited, and also cooking some Turkey Chili right now, reading you. lol Perfect timing!! xoxo -Mark

[The Analog Kid]

Life is both ups and downs. Melancholy is good for the artist.

[kimmy]

This was absolutely amazing, the feeling you get when reading this piece. I was reading and when I got to the part where you spend so much time in seasoning and cooking it to be perfect, the food is gone so food you would never know you cooked it if 1 you wasnt tired lol or when the dishes started to pille up in the sink:)

[DrD]

There's been so many reviews of this there's hardly anything to say but I was most impressed with your originality, of using one medium to express another. The writing style is smooth and highly readable. This is the prduct of an innate skill that should not be neglected. Bravo to you!