Eyes

Hope this sounds cool!

The eyes are the door to the soul
They are the crack in the wall we try to mend
Showing everyone around your forbearance
Even if you wish to keep it private

Your eyes say more than your empty words
Sometimes they don’t profess enough
All you’re wanting is for one person to see
But it is too late for them to undertake

The clock has ticked its last for joy
Our eyes just display our sorrow
We try to use our eyelids as a shroud
Yet someone has unraveled our emotions

Author's Note

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Reviews

[Zoya]

Wonderfully evocative. Eyes are the storehouses of emotions. Quite revealing. The best part is, they don't seem to age. Really liked your take on them.
This line though - 'We try to use our eyelids as a shroud' - wow! Signifies sundries of things.
Well done!

[AllauraRose]

Thank you so much for the feedback!

[Zoya]

Most welcome

[H L Rose]

This is full of honesty and is very moving.

"They are the crack in the wall we try to mend"
This is my favorite line in the first stanza. I like the sound of the last two lines together as well and think "forbearance" was good word choice.

"Sometimes they don't profess enough"
This line says so much. It seems to contradict the idea that "The eyes are the door to the soul", but in a good way that is very effective and that makes the reader think.

"The clock has ticked it's last for joy"
This is my favorite line in the whole poem! It is fantastically put and I think the whole last stanza is great.
"We try to use our eyelids as a shroud" is a great line to with good imagery.

I absolutely love this!

[AllauraRose]

Thank you so much!! I’m glad you liked this and I appreciate the feedback!

[H L Rose]

Of course!

[emipoemi]

Another solemn work of brilliance! The three stanzas paint a grand and profound picture about the sublime wonder of eyes, and what they harbour. You have a couple of oddities that should be dealt with (Stanza 1 Line 3 - "you" and "your" don't tend to sound nice when placed side by side.....the line would still be correct if you take the "your" out; Stanza 2 Line 4 - "too late" not "to late"), and the very last line is a tad confusing (what does the "one" refer to? also, "elucidated" is kind of too much of a mouthful for the musicality to carry over). But overall, I very much enjoyed this poem. Well done!

[AllauraRose]

Thanks! I will work on your suggestions!