Veronica's Voices

Veronica hears voices... And havoc ensues...

“Make them stop!” She clenched her fists to her temples in rage.  The screaming - it never stopped.  So many voices - all at once - never stopping - never, ever stopping.

 

“Only you can do that” was all the Doctor said to her, a patience in his voice that seemed terribly out of key.  He sat himself gently down behind his desk, as she rocked back and forth furiously on the leather couch.  “Can you tell me, Veronica, what do they say?” He took out a pen, tapping it against a blank page in his book.  The red, leather-covered book, filled with every word the voices had ever spoken.

 

Veronica rocked still, back and forth, back and forth.  “It- It hurts.” A cold tear slid down her cheek and onto the tired old leather of the couch.

 

“They’re not real, Veronica. They can’t hurt you.”  He seemed bored. He tapped his pen against the page, in time with Veronica’s rocking.  “What do they say?”

 

“Liar.” Veronica muttered, her long auburn hair obscuring her face.  “Th-they c-call you that.” They did - they always did.  After the pills.  After the treatments. They would always scream louder after her medication.  They didn’t want to leave.

 

He held back a yawn, filling in the corner of the page with tiny circles and lines. “And why would they say that?”

 

She looked up, but he didn’t notice her.  The yellow striped wallpaper was picked away at places.  The light coming in through the window - through the sullied curtains - was repugnantly sepia, coating everything it touched with a wretched, brown light.  The wallpaper - she was sure - smelt of the drugs they gave her.

 

Veronica watched the doctor doodling for a moment.

 

The voices - they stopped screaming…  She smiled - she laughed! Silence! … Then one spoke to her.  Just the one.  It told her such - such horrible things.  That made such perfect sense.  It was right.  She knew what she had to do.  Why hadn’t she seen it before?  Now that there was only one, it was all so clear.

 

The doctor was still absentmindedly decorating the page when he looked away from the book. “Veronica?”  She was on her feet, stepping towards his desk. “G-Go sit down.”  He pushed himself back in his chair, watching her with slightly widened eyes.  He seperated his shoulders and poised himself so as to attempt to look authoritative.

 

“You’re a liar.”  She told him steadily.  The pain was gone now.  Soon, it would never come back.  There was just one thing she had to do. “People shouldn’t lie.”

 

She was at his desk now, her hand reached for a pen - his pen.  He had left it on the open book, intricately decorated with boredom.  She grasped it tightly.  The doctor watched her, and moved to stand.

 

With one swift motion, she swung her arm around, aiming for his temple.  The voices told her, that was the weakest spot.  They were right.  The skin popped.  The pen slid between rolls of flesh and vein.  Blood spurted from around the pen as it fought its way into his brain.

 

Veronica released her grasp of the pen as the doctor’s shell slumped onto his desk, his face into the book.  She smiled.  There was silence!  She laughed.  She hugged herself and giggled into the room.  Veronica had never heard the silence like this.  The pressure was gone.  She was normal now! Her knees hit the carpet; she was liberated.

Author's Note

Yet another piece of work along the lines of a mental asylum, I know. Thrown together because I wanted to try out the ideas from the poems in a different format.

All feedback welcome.

Reviews

[Not Your Typical New Yo..]

I usually get bored or try to avoid reading asylum stuff, because it often is overdone or just the same thing over and over again, but you're short story really got me hooked! You took me more a realistic place and what would happen to a person who "followed orders" from the voices. Very well done, great details

[West Coast]

The pen slid between rolls of flesh and vein. Blood spurted from around the pen as it fought its way into his brain.
This is by far my favoite line. It reflects poetry and imagery so well.

[Brittany]

Awesome. Absolutely great writing. I loved this in all it's madness. Of course I'm a social worker, so maybe that makes me weird, but I think you did an excellent job with this.

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

I love it!! I especially love the title. This is sooo good. I love the detail you've put in it and the awesome imagery. It's very well written. No grammatical errors spotted. Very, very good. :)

[SeventhSin]

Hmmm interesting :) I liked it! Keep up the good work.

[jkhatz]

Actually, I completely get this. Writing doesn't have to be filled with character buliding descriptions. The dialogue and the narrative here proves that. I do know these characters, I could picture them both, have even met their types.

This delivered a solid, quick punch to the soul. Powerful and gritty, twisting with a wicked, dark humor. Can you tell you have impressed me?

[Bruce Grimes]

This story has a lot of potential, but it doesn't quite make it. I had a hard time reading it because the characters are so vague. You might try putting a little less description into the room; and a little more into the characters. This will help bring them to life and tell the story better. You also might try putting an actual voice to the voices in her head and giving them a life of their own; since that's what this story is all about. You have a really good start here it would be interesting to see what it's like when it's finished.

[R.A. Youngblood]

This story is kinda passionate, and also kinda painful to me. I just had a little problem with following, but all in all, it's wonderful! Thanks for sharing..Keep it up :D

[EYES OF MY SOUL]

I really like the picture you painted a dark scene and a character who's personality exploded as the story progressed. I agree with Melody i would of like a bit more verbal detail as for when she stabbed him in the temple.I enjoy reading this work ,nice job.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I liked it, would have loved to have the words create a more vivid picture for me you know the details of her sensations, the jitter of his eyes as she plunged the pen. I mean if we’re going to write it, hey completely create it.... right. A very good story, well written, yet I wanted a little more from it that I was looking for but, did not get. You have got to let go and get it vivid verbally entice me) Zombie Waffle