The Lion

Another silly one

THE LION

 

DEAR ABBY: I am very puzzled.
Recently my legs were nuzzled
by a lion in a pride.
When that happens should I hide
or should I just reach down and stop her?
I'm not really sure what's proper.
Tell me what I ought to do.
        Signed, NUZZLED AT THE CITY ZOO

DEAR NUZZLED: Amscram, go, vamoose!
Avoid all lions on the loose!
Your choice is either plan to stay
or wet yourself and run away.
The former choice- you might could die...
the latter- in an hour you're dry.
If this is all the choice you get,
then every time I'd choose to wet
'cause lions, when they start to chew
leave very little left of you.
In fact, they're not the sort of chaps
who normally leave crumbs or scraps.
(Morticians don't know what to do
when friends have nothing there to view).

Of those who spot your soggy splotch
and ask, "What happened to your crotch?"
won't think a thing if you just joke
and say to them, "I spilled my coke."
But, not so if you take a stand
because it's manly, brave and grand.
I'll tell you what they'll say verbatim-
"God, it looks like lions ate'm."
Among the mourners, would be some
who'd laugh and say, "Boy, that was dumb!!!"

So, truthfully, it takes more guts
to let folks think you're just a klutz.