Time stops.
The hands no longer moving,
Their journey incomplete.
Frozen.
Forever saying the wrong words,
Making the wrong sounds.
Nothing is right.
Nothing can fix this.
Silence forces itself upon you.
All encompassing; it's hollow death.
Sad, empty, pitiful and despaired.
Sleep eludes those who seek its comfort. It's
Compassion. No tenderness shown to the woman who could not heal.
Who could not soothe the helpless being.
Leaving herself in her own version of his helplessness.
Very beautifully written and structured. Has an almost wistful feel to it, like it is softly spoken, sighed.
"Sleep eludes those who seek its comfort"
Beautiful line, known all too well. The only thing that stops you from thinking, evades you in your hour of need.
Thank you for sharing this.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much. This is actually my first go at poetry so I am very thankful for your kind words!.. read moreThank you so much. This is actually my first go at poetry so I am very thankful for your kind words!
I see you said this is your first poem, it is, therefore, astounding, you demonstrate immense maturity and have an innate quality to produce beautiful poetry, in other words, you are a born poet, a quality that you should pursue and write always from your heart, along with the ability to write stories your future is bright, keep turning negatives into positives, if you get writer's block then write about writer's block until it's defeated, I'm no expert but its my view of you from this poem, my best wishes to you for a bright future :)
Posted 9 Years Ago
8 Years Ago
Thank You very much. I am wanting to pursue journalism and short writing so any help and feedback is.. read moreThank You very much. I am wanting to pursue journalism and short writing so any help and feedback is a positive thing for me.
Very beautifully written and structured. Has an almost wistful feel to it, like it is softly spoken, sighed.
"Sleep eludes those who seek its comfort"
Beautiful line, known all too well. The only thing that stops you from thinking, evades you in your hour of need.
Thank you for sharing this.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Thank you so much. This is actually my first go at poetry so I am very thankful for your kind words!.. read moreThank you so much. This is actually my first go at poetry so I am very thankful for your kind words!