The consistency

A Story by Alisoide

Just some days of a man whose life no longer has a point and every day seems the same. Somehow a diary.

The Consistency

He wakes up at home.

Getting up in the morning is tough. Sometimes I find it hard even to open my eyes and it's totally not because I’m lacking sleep. Today will be just the same as the yesterday. And tomorrow will be just the same as today. I hear voices in the kitchen so I get up and dress. The bus stop is just five minutes’ walk from my home so there is no need for a hurry. My wife made me breakfast. My daughter is wishing me a great day. “Thanks, honey, have fun at school.” Now I should leave for work. A kiss on a forehead.

Boss informed me it’s that time of the year again. I will be leaving to the first city today. Sometimes I feel like this job is just killing me but I don’t have the courage to leave this place. And, I am afraid that I can’t get a better job. I see my reflection in the coffee. I have dark brown eyes but lately, they seem nothing but grey. I need to go to the airport, otherwise, I will miss my flight.

Four hours of flying. My seat is comfortable and there are no crying kids near me. But why am I here? Why do I have to live my life like this? I had dreams, I had goals and desires but… I don’t seem to remember any of those. We take off.

After getting my luggage, I rush to the airport entrance to catch a cab. I can’t be late for this meeting, I just can’t be late. There is a car, I get in. Everything is fine now, but for how long?

The meeting was pleasant, now I am in my hotel room. This is a nice room, most of the times they put me in some cheap hotels but this one seems expensive. I wanted to relax in the bathtub but I’m so exhausted that I just brushed my teeth and got into the bed. Two sleeping pills.

He wakes up in Madrid.

My head is hurting again, right from the morning. That's another reason why I wish I did not wake up. I can’t even stay in bed any longer because my plane is in.. Oh god, it is in 2 hours and I'm not ready at all.

I managed to get ready in seven minutes and now I am at the airport of Madrid. Soon I will be on the plane, flying to the next city, attending my next meeting, trying to sell those people stuff they don’t really need. Poor guys. Well, it’s time for boarding.

New city, new place. I even have some time to walk around but everything looks the same to me. Boring streets, shops just the same as in every city and crowd of people, everyone running somewhere without a purpose. My head starts to hurt again, I should get some coffee before the meeting.

I just talked with my wife. She said she misses me and that Ariel misses me too. I said I miss them but I’m not sure how I feel. I know that I’m going to return anyway. Now I am all alone, again. This hotel isn’t as good as the previous one. This time I should probably take the shower.

I guess they have something with the pipes. Water kept on changing from hot to cold and it doesn’t smell good. But what can I do? I don’t even choose the hotels I am staying in. Time to go to bed. Sheets are soft and the pillow is just as I like. Time for sleep. Two sleeping pills.

He wakes up in Warsaw.

I woke up before my alarm, which doesn’t happen often. And I feel relaxed, my head doesn’t hurt. At least something good in this day. I have messages from my wife. “Good morning! I really miss you, can’t wait for you to come home!”. I don’t feel like replying. I need to go to the airport. Again.

This city is beautiful, kind of. I can only judge by looking from a window of the taxi. But I would say I like it. Don’t know why, but I do. Maybe I will take my family here someday.

This time the flight wasn’t long. I arrived in a small city. It is different. I have never been here before. After getting to the center I realized I’m too early for the meeting so I might just find some quiet park and read the book I can never finish. Gladly there is a small park right next to the building where the meeting will take place. The book is so boring

I get to the hotel only by midnight. I missed my bus and had to walk so now I am exhausted. The room is really small, it feels like walls want to crush me. I wouldn’t mind. The bed is enormous though. Maybe I will sleep well. I lay down. No, I will not. This is too soft for me. Three sleeping pills.

He wakes up in Riga.

Because it doesn’t take too much time to get to the airport I can buy a cup of coffee and walk around town. Anything to get out of this small room, I can’t handle it anymore. It is a cold day and I don’t have any suitable clothes. I hope I don’t catch a cold. People seem to be enjoying this weather. At least it looked so. People are nice here.

The airport is small. Well, compared to the ones I have been to before. I am sure there are smaller airports. I easily found my gate and now I am waiting for take-off.

I’m in a new place, again. Yeah, this airport is a lot bigger. I know that my hotel is right in the city center so it should be a good one. I really hope so.

This meeting was really depressing. Everyone looked like they didn’t have enough sleep. Also, the guy who had to translate everything for people we wanted to get a deal with didn’t show up. Everyone was near a mental breakdown at the end of the meeting. Now I am in the hotel. It is a great room, gigantic bed, and soft pillows. The bathtub is way bigger than the one I have at home. I can’t wait to go to sleep. Two sleeping pills.

He wakes up in Paris.

Today I feel bad, I don’t know why. I don’t want to leave the bed. My head hurts, the days are repeating themselves, I can’t stand it. I need to go for a walk.

The city is so gorgeous but still, there are the same streets, the same people, everything seems the same even if it’s not. I like the view but I liked it in almost every city I have been before. I can’t appreciate the moment. I feel lost, I feel alone. I go to the airport, once again.

We have landed. This is the last meeting, I will go home after this one.

I am not going to describe it as it went just as any other meetings. Plain and boring. Right now, I am in the hotel room… Again. This one is cozy, not big though. I just sit on the bed for an hour straight. I can’t deal with my thoughts. There is too much going on in my head. I am lost. I feel pathetic. I feel miserable. I can’t take it. I can’t take it anymore.

Twenty-three sleeping pills.

He didn’t wake up.