Inevitable

A Story by Zoey M

A story about falling out of love and undesired move on.

Another cold night with none known but you, just you! While sipping down from a cup of coffee I was constantly trying to find myself in your eyes. I was calm but you remained perplexed, struggling to stop yourself from fidgeting. The severity of the weather was also adding to the tension oscillating between us. The world around us was in hustle and bustle but the only thing visible to me, was your agitation. Your restlessness was scaring me to death and I wanted you to break that wall of silence elevating so rapidly between us. Eventually, you came to a conclusion and braced yourself to finally speak up.

“We can’t be together. It just isn’t working out! You see?” he said furiously.

And there I was, looking at you in complete awe and astound, struggling to find the right words, to respond to what you’d just thrown my way. “Why don’t you say something Alya? Please speak up!!” he requested firmly.

What would I say? What possibly could’ve been said to halt the storm that had already overpowered me. I never wanted an end but I wasn’t being asked my choice of decision rather I was being informed that my dissent is completely non-existent and holds no value. So, what was I supposed to say? What could’ve possibly changed if I’d ever managed to speak something? I interrogated myself.

“Alya?” he said while snapping his fingers in front of me.

“I’m asking you something?” he added.

I was brought back and yet again I was disappointed recognizing the fact that what’s going on right now, is not imaginary. It is as real as me breathing through his words.

“OK!” she replied exasperatingly while slamming the table with both hands. Stan got a bit alarmed by her reaction and was baffled about how to proceed with the conversation.

“Ok? What does that interpret Aali? Are you ok with this decision?” I only managed to give him a vacant stare in response. “I mean like... I mean won’t you question about anything?” he mumbled in dismay.

I’d always feared this coming one day but the fact that haunted me all those days was: What will I say in response? How will I bear it? How will I ever be able to let him go when all I want from him ... is to stay. Stay! No matter how. Despite knowing that he was drifting away, I chose to remain blind, for as long as I possibly and impossibly could, to be a part of that relationship. I wanted it to prolong so I could be a part of his life, just a little longer, and gather as much memories as I could but today was an end to that persistence. I had to let him go even if I was willing to give my life to prevent it from happening.

“No, I have nothing to ask …. I accept it”, she replied tearfully while looking into his eyes for one last time and left hastily.

Stan felt a pang of guilt immediately and wished to stop her, but she was out of sight by then and couldn’t be approached. He’d scarred her heart for life and there was no word of sympathy in this world that’d ease her suffering.

‘You coward! You fool! How could you let him escape like this? Go to him! Fight with him! Interrogate him about being so insensitive? How could he just put an end to all of it in one moment without even clearly justifying this decision and not emphasizing on what you have to say about it?’ My heart kept condemning me about what had happened a few minutes ago. I kept walking until I couldn’t and dropped in exhaustion. Emotions got the best of me and I burst into tears. Nobody was around yet I covered my mouth to keep myself from sobbing too loud. Tears slid down my cheeks incessantly and a sharp pain passed through my head. I intended to walk back to him though I could barely handle myself at that time. I’d prepared myself to go and shriek at him (loud enough to shiver his entire soul to death), asking: Why was I responsible for his disloyalty? Why do I have to bear the burden of his betrayal? As I took my first step towards him, my conscience intruded instantly and questioned me, “What do you think is going to change? Will his disloyal heart turn back after seeing you in tears or hearing your questions?” I glanced down and my lips twisted into a wry smile.

“No, it won’t”, answering myself I brushed off the remaining tears.

Life without him seems impossible and bewildered, but after every dark night awaits a shining sun. I’ll never be the person I’d once been, but I could choose to become a finer one. In process of convincing myself that what lies ahead is going to be better than what had gone, my heart agonized terribly.

However, with a heavy heart I chose to move on ahead and ….. never look back.