Those Words (Unofficial Title)

WARNING! Major spoilers for Thor: The Dark World.

Loki’s Unspoken Elegy

Hello, Mother.

Don’t make this worse, you say?

Define worse.

What about the fact you’re not my mother?

What about the fact that you are dead?

I make everything worse;

It’s in my nature.

No matter what you’ve said about me,

This is what I am.

But you tried to make me better.

You tried to give me light within the shadow.

You gave me an identity -

An identity I learned to be a lie.

And I disowned you.

I cut you from my heart with words of severing,

Not realizing how much they would hurt me too.

I watched the soft light shimmer into nothing,

And that was the last I saw of you.

If there is anything that I regret,

It is those words.

What made you want to shine into my darkness?

What made you want to care for me at all?

What did you think

When he placed me in your arms?

What did you see?

A monster? And enemy?

An abandoned waif, unworthy of my own blood?

How can I have meant anything to you?

I never realized how much you meant to me.

Long ago, I asked if I was cursed.

I was told no,

But I think it was a lie.

I spoke the words that let the monster find you.

In truth, you were killed by two monsters,

One a dark-skinned fiend of scarlet fire,

The other pale, with eyes of blue-green ice.

We were not so different, it and I.

Cursed,

With blood as cold as the words which passed my lips,

Sealing your fate.

If there is anything that I regret,

It is those words.

Shame is often found a friend of guilt,

And shame’s accomplice is humiliation,

Whose bite I’ve known so well.

I’ve been beaten,

Muzzled,

Chained around the neck -

For all your talk of sonship,

Treated like a beast.

It was nothing I couldn’t handle, though.

Once, I might have believed that I deserved it.

The cruelest thing he did to me

Was to leave me behind, alone;

Free to move,

Free to speak,

But never able to come and say goodbye.

I had to lift the lantern with my heart

And watch the rising lights within my mind.

Perhaps if I could look upon your face,

Or hold your gentle fingers one last time,

It would be easier to let go.

But even that was taken from me.

So I am left with naught but my final words to you,

The words of severing.

If there is anything that I regret,

It is those words.

 

Goodbye, Mother.

 

Author's Note

In case anyone is curious...
Elegy: a poem or song in the form of a lament for someone who has died
Eulogy: a speech given to honor someone who has died
Eulogy: a short poem, quote, Scripture verse, etc. in honor of someone who has died, often written on his/her tombstone
Definitions paraphrased from Dictionary.com and my own experience.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

to your "Author's Note ......... i'm curious! ;) thank you! :)
its a long poem ... and i am not a gamer so do not know a lot of the history of this tale .. i think that hinders me as a reader :( in capitalizing each line you sacrifice editing .. i think if you clarify sentence structure you might strengthen your poem .. i like the back and forth with the "Mother" and your protagonist .. i feel the creative tension between the two .. the closing gives me a taste of resolution ..but not enought o end the story ..so i want more .. love and peace!
E.

[AliciaB]

Thanks! This is actually based on a movie (several movies, in fact), which are key to understanding the poem. I suppose that limits the relatability for many readers, but... that's just how it is. :/ I'm not entirely sure what you mean about sacrificing editing by capitalizing each line. I suppose it could interrupt the flow a bit, but my word processor capitalizes each line automatically, and I kind of like the uniformity it gives. So, I left it like that. :) But I appreciate the feedback. Thanks again for the review!

[Einstein Noodle]

ah the movies ..i have seen parts of the Thor movie but did not get into it much :( so i am limited :}

for example .. in the 6th line you end with a semi-colon so the next line should not be capitalized ..as a reader i want to start a new sentence new thought new image when i see a capitalized beginning line .. when you as author don't mean it to be i stumble a bit and the flow is not clear ...i have a terrible time with punctuation ..if i start to use it i think i must use it all the way through .. and the more i try to get it right the messier it seems jto me ..so i end up loosing it all ..and stick to my free form style or choose a classic model which makes punctuation more simple ... love and peace my friend AliciaB ...have the best day ever!
:)

[SJ Mullins]

Even though after reading all the comments and knowing it is about several movies, I still think it is a very powerful piece which you wrote very well. It is maybe words you wanted to speak, but never got the chance to. Basically, freeing your soul by what you needed to say. Loved it.

[GalaxyGhost]

This stays true to Loki's character, especially with his flawed and sad side. Well done!

[AliciaB]

Thank you!