Teenage Mortality

Wow. Three uploads, all in a matter of days. I must be having some sort of identity crisis.

It is said that teenagers think they are invincible.

We’re young, we’re strong,

We’re compulsive, we’re naïve;

We don’t anything could harm us,

Which is why so many of us wind up dead.

 

I know I’m not invincible.

I know I’m going to die.

I haven’t yet had an eye-opening, gut-wrenching realization of my own mortality -

The kind generally reserved for middle age -

But I’ve thought about death,

They way one thinks about deep space

Or atoms

Or the fact that God is real.

Something just hasn’t “clicked” yet.

 

But I am dying.

I know that for sure.

Who I am now -

Who I’ve been up to this point -

Her days are numbered.

Going forth,

This will never be the same.

I am going to grow up,

Become a different person,

While the things I’m normally a part of happen without me;

I won’t be there to see them.

My relationships with others will forever be altered.

I’ll still be a big sister,

But I won’t be… there.

I won’t be there to help them.

I won’t be there to heal them.

And they’ll grow up without me,

And this is all for the better,

Because this is how it’s supposed to be.

But it… hurts.

I want to grow up.

But there are parts of me that I don’t want to die.

How much of me will I lose in this transition?

How many jokes?

How much laughter?

Maybe it’s a good thing.

But I want to laugh… with them.

Forever.

 

“Mortality” is an interesting word.

The opposite is “immortality.”

“Im” means not.

Im-mortal;

Not mortal.

It seems like it should be the other way around.

Isn’t everlastingness the original?

We could’ve lived forever if we hadn’t sinned -

But we did, and now we live for a little while

And then die

And then live again forever.

Our souls are eternal.

Mortality is artificial.

So really it should be - imimmortality.

I didn’t make English.

 

I need a constant.

Something to hold onto

While I’m dying,

Something to pull me through to the other side

And say, “It’s gonna be okay -

You’re in My arms.”

I don’t deserve to be here;

I’ve long forsaken eternity.

Stupid little sheep,

Wandering away from life.

But my Shepherd doesn’t care.

He brings me back,

Forgives my sinful idiocy,

And heals me with His blood.

Be my stalwart healer;

Be my guide.

A guide in the darkness,

A light to cleanse the sickness from my heart.

The rock of my morality -

Morality.

 

I didn’t make English,

But I love whoever did.

Have you noticed

That the only difference

Between “morality”

And “mortality”

Is this tiny little letter

That when you have the right font

Looks like a…

t

Huh.

Hehe.

I just blew up someone’s brain.

 

So what does this mean,

Hyperanalytical snowflakes?

It means

That my faith is the center of my morality,

And because of that,

Though my old self may be dying,

I am being led to into greater joy than I have ever known,

Always carrying Christ with me

As the center

Of my

Mortality.

Author's Note

This is just... WEIRD. I started writing it feeling sort of sad, then got really depressed, and then I must have accidentally bumped my own "sass" switch and things got very strange. And it's not even that sassy. I just... FEEL sassy. I don't even understand what's going on here. "Snowflake" is a term of endearment. I wrote a poem about it. It's called "Snowflake." *mind blown*... I apologize. The sass switch is still on.
P.S. - I wrote this because I am about to enter college. :)

Reviews

[Sapientiam]

This is not weird at all. Actually, it is very accurate and relatable. I did sense the "sass switch" being triggered, which is also not bad! Your personality made the poem so amusing. The waves of emotions that pass within the lines were very well conveyed. There was a sense of acceptance, knowing that everyone will die one way, and then it turned to sorrow, as there was a realization that the mourning would follow. But, you seemed to make peace with this concept, believing that all souls will live for eternity through God. We were meant to live forever, and then the first sin was committed... I love how you tied that in with the restructuring of the word "mortality". Such a beautifully crafted poem. Thanks for sharing this piece!

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much for the in-depth review! I greatly appreciate it.

[maricoona91]

THank you for sharing this poem.
It is so raw and deep. It shows your stream of consciousness...it shows your inner world, your confusions and your sorrows. it seems to be about loss under the surface. What are you losing and what can you hope for? It is vulnerable..thank you!

[Shabeeh Haider]

That's what crossed my mind when I was a teenager, but when you are young you do not dwell on such thoughts.
Nicely expressed

[lee]

I really liked your poem,.. thank you. I have a teenage son and it give me a bit more insight to his feelings. Thanks again, Lee

[NathanielAlexander]

Very strong, it brings back major feels from when I was 18 and sat in bed in a rather emotional state. I really appreciate works such as this, a great poem!

[GalaxyGhost]

I know that feeling of being mortal and that any day can be that last, yet there were my own moments where (as a very still teenager) I did feel invincible.

The poem isn't weird at all! I loved it! (Unless I'm weird, too, and weird doesn't decode into my brain as anything meaningful...XD Well, in any case, embrace the weirdness!)

In short, yes this poem is a fun one to read and yes, sassing is okay with me and I always enjoyed having sassy friends who are just as awesome as you! I look forwards for more poems and written pieces.

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much!

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Powerful poem! You tackled topics most people go through the emotions of and try to forget. You held me from the beginning to the end. It didn't sound like poetry at all, it sounded like you were being real with a person, which is what grabbed my attention from the beginning. Though we all have our different opinions and beliefs, I think you've captured how most people in this world think, along with your own honesty. Tyfs!

[AliciaB]

Thanks! I appreciate it!

[Tionge Rosalie Johnson]

It is not weird at all. I actually think it is quite beautifully written. I often think of my own mortality a lot because I actually was diagnosed with depression last year. I'm also 23 and at a transitional period in my life (I just recently graduated with a Masters degree and on the hunt for jobs). You have a distinct voice in your poetry that is very "You" which is not an easy feat. These lines in your poem, "I need a constant.


Something to hold onto


While I’m dying,


Something to pull me through to the other side


And say, “It’s gonna be okay -


You’re in My arms.”

I can relate to this so much, the fear of dying and being scared that you'll realize that there is nothing there when you die. Since this life we have isn't guaranteed, it is a very scary thing mortality. And, having a constant is such a comfort within our human species, that thinking about something as unpredictable as "death" is super frightening. Sometimes stream of consciousness pieces are the best because they are the most natural and relatable. So, to me it is not weird...but actually quite brilliant.

[AliciaB]

Thank you! I really appreciate your comments, and I'll be praying for you!

[Sarah]

How clever. How one simple letter changes a word from morality to mortality. And it just so happens to be a t! I never thought of that before. Great poem really entering your mind about death and what it means to live and die. Really enjoyed it.

[AliciaB]

Thank you!