Words of an Anguished Heart

Yep.

So…

Much…

Pain.

Where did this darkness come from?

Is our world sinking deeper,

Or has it always been this way?

I’ve never known this bitterness before.

Maybe I was too blind to see it,

Or too young, and you covered my eyes.

But they’re open now.

No more illusions.

I gaze, unprotected, upon the toxic legacy of my world,

Where newfound horrors rise like festering fountains every day

In an ever-changing wasteland of misery.

Nothing could be the same after this moment -

But something tells me that it has always been like this.

Since the sweet, forbidden taste of our first sin passed through our lips,

We have been drowning ourselves in the poison of our own making.

 

I want to turn away from all these horrors,

But turning only brings more pain into my view.

I look down;

Even the earth beneath my feet is stained with blood.

So I raise my eyes

And I walk up,

Up the rocky, reddened hill,

Up to where there stands a cross

Upon which hangs a man.

He is man;

He is God -

My God.

My God;

What have we done?

I gaze upon His broken body,

Blood dripping down onto my face,

Mingling with my tears, flowing into my mouth;

A Communion of agony.

I close my eyes as the grief washes over me,

But His image is still burned into my mind.

This is the only way I know how to cope

With the horror, the brutality,

The senseless acts of evil that scar my world.

Our suffering becomes His,

And the One who is stainless

Takes on our stains to cleanse us with His blood.

 

And to those who do not have this aching gift,

Whether out of circumstance or their own choice,

I ask, not in malice, but in genuine wonderment - 

How do you handle this agony?

Where, what,

Who do you turn to

When darkness consumes the world in which you live?

So…

Much…

Pain.

What is your light?

 

For me,

There can only be one answer.

 

Because only God

Could have enough blood

To wash away the darkness of our world.

Author's Note

It's for Nice. It's for Dallas. It's for Orlando. It's for Paris, it's for Boston, it's for Sandy Hook, it's for New York... it's for all the ones that have and haven't been told. It's for everyone. We all need it.

Reviews

[------]

This was very touching. We all don't find light in the same place, but I highly respect where you find yours. I was especially moved by your description of the state of the world. I felt your desperate plea for answers, yet clinging onto any solace and hope you can find.

[AliciaB]

Thank you! I appreciate it.

[barleygirl]

This is brilliant. The only brilliant thing I've read about the world situation in a long while.

I'm kinda sick of people trying to interpret what's going on, partly becuz the world situation gets more grizzly every day, so anything we say about it becomes obsolete & inadequate quickly . . . and partly just becuz it's too senseless & most people can't find the words even as they blather on, offering too many words, instead of just saying it's too unfathomable to speak meaningfully about it.

YOUR MESSAGE HERE, on the other hand, goes quickly beyond what we mere mortals can comprehend (not trying to analyze with our puny brains), you take this worldly mess to a place where there's only one entity that can process this pain & confusion, easing our minds before the poison rots our attitudes to the core. I also appreciate that you include those who don't believe as you do, & not doing this with any derision or criticism, but just honest curiosity & respect. This is super original & intensely real & yet not hopeless, but offering the only hope in such dire circumstances (((HUGS)))

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much! It truly means a lot. I agree with you on the idea of trying to interpret this kind of thing through words and how difficult it is. It really frustrates me when people talk about something bad happening, and others respond, "That's horrible" or something like that. We're uncomfortable for a second, and then we move on with our lives. These things deserve more of our consideration than a passing thought - and yet, when we do take the time to ponder them, we are unable to truly express the emotions they generate within us. That's where all the fluff and too many words, as you say, come from. I do the best I can through poetry, because I think it does a better job of expressing raw emotion in a less verbose manner. But even that falls short. And so, the only thing that I can truly turn to is the agony of the Cross. Thank you so much for understanding this and for your uplifting review. I am humbled and honored (funny how those are more like synonyms in this context) by your comments. Many hugs in return!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Most of the horrors are our own doing. Sometimes the mess that we create in far of lands comes back to haunt us.
This might not be a justification for human life is priceless but man is so self centered that he sees the pain that has hurt him or those close to him.
No one remembers those who have been killed and maimed so many miles away.
We all need God. He has given us a gift which could have been an Eden if we had lived by the principles of brotherhood.
Unfortunately we have reached the stage where the doomsday that has been promised is not very far away.

[AliciaB]

Very true. Thank you.

[GalaxyGhost]

So many people are hurting and so many hurting others. This poem is very solemn and gives hope. People try to find peace and happiness in the wrong places, but God is overall. I saw a post that was so powerful I want to quote it here: "God didn't turn His back on us, but we did." I am religious, but this can be taken spiritually. I'm trying to say is sometimes we turn away from true happiness (bonding w/friends and family, self-discovery, etc.) that it leaves us empty. Money isn't bad, but if we forget our humanity, who are we? I'm not trying to debate. I just want to hopefully send prayers for those who are hurting so they may feel peace. So your poem is a lovely piece reminding people to have hope. It's like a prayer, in my thoughts.

[AliciaB]

It is indeed. Thank you very much.

[Elmarie]

Hi Alicia

A very deep well written piece that had me thinking of all the moments I felt like this. Beautiful devotion and insight.

Blessings

El

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much.

[SJ Mullins]

This is beautifully written, darlin'. You have such insight, it makes me wonder how old you are? I sense you are young, at least much younger than I am. It is a sad thing in our world today that some do not value the sanctity of human life. I am sad so many die so young and don't get to live out their lives because of the brutality in the world. You did very well on this.

[AliciaB]

Thank you very much. I appreciate it, and I agree with you. I am about to enter college - so yes, I am pretty young. Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot.