All That is Wanted

Be forewarned - this is one of those things I wrote at about 2 AM, so I have no idea how well it turned out.

Monsters desire your body;

Vampires thirst for your blood.

Demons intend to devour your soul

And to take from you all that is good.

 

People around us are asking,

Requesting our feelings and thoughts.

They beg us for words, and for deeds, and for love,

And we give to them, just as we aught.

 

All that I have I will offer -

My talent, my treasure, my time.

And yet, I discover, in giving them all,

I have given them nothing of mine.

 

 

 

Nobody asked

For your brokenness.

 

Nobody asked

For your awkwardness,

Your anxiety,

Your depression.

 

Nobody asked

For your insecurity,

Your need for affirmation,

Your pathetic dependence on others

To bring joy to your pitiful life.

 

Nobody wants your fears,

Your grief,

Your loneliness,

Your exhaustion,

Your inability to handle your own flaws.

 

Nobody cares about

What’s wrong with you.

All anyone seems to think about

Is what you can do for them.

 

 

 

I’m sorry.

 

I tried, really - 

Tried to be perfect,

Tried to give you only those parts of me

That are pretty and helpful,

Tried to be a shiny, polished mirror

That you can look into

And see only yourself

And smile, because I’ve been useful

And I’ve made you happy.

 

But I’m a broken mirror.

I’ve got cracks and missing pieces,

And what I give you is distorted

By my own imperfections.

The sharp edges of my shattered heart

Grate against yours,

And we’re both in agony

Because of this weakness we all share

Even though it’s never the same.

 

Maybe this is why

Some people hate God.

Because reflected in our broken mirrors,

How can anything, anyone,

No matter how beautiful, how incredible,

Ever appear as anything

But a monster?

 

I can’t fix myself,

And I can’t fix you.

But still you’re begging me for healing,

And so I’ll do my best

To be whatever I can be for you.

I will give you everything,

The beautiful

And the broken,

Because I cannot separate

The pieces of my identity.

 

 

This is the prayer

Of the broken mirror,

And I offer myself to you,

All of me,

 

Body,

Blood,

Soul,

and

Humanity.

Author's Note

A bit of background - the last lines come from a Catholic belief about the Eucharist, the bread and wine received at Communion, being in actuality the "Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity" of Jesus Christ. I'd like to hear people's thoughts on the structure of this one with the rhyming and defined meter at the beginning and then, well, the descent into madness later.

Reviews

[Johnny]

well I instantly spotted rythm.. very very good rythm and very good structure... please dont take me as a negative critic (I love your poems alicia) I studied metre and they come in pairs of 2 or 3 syllables.. I see neither in the first paragraph or the most part and I believe one line is completely stressed... please dont be discouraged by what I say.. I wrote a dactyl hexameter couplet the other day but it took me weeks of study to do it... still 100pts for overall quality!

[AliciaB]

Thank you for the review! I'm glad you liked it. I am a bit confused by what you said about meter, however - from my understanding, the first three stanzas follow a dactylic meter. Granted, there are several extra syllables thrown in here or there, but not enough to mess up the pattern. Here's my interpretation of it, with the third, stressed syllable of each foot capitalized: "MON-sters de-SI-re your BOD-y; / VAM-pi-res THIRST for your BLOOD; / DE-mons in-TEND to de-VO(W)-ur your SOUL / and to TAKE from you ALL that is GOOD..." etc. (Some of the weird breaks between two vowels in the same word occur because that's how the words are pronounced when spoken out loud.) Not sure if this helps to clarify anything, but if you have any further input, I would be interested to hear it. Thanks again!

[Johnny]

haha I suck at scanning I suppose.. im very new to using meters and feet so I am much less able to scan for them I suppose... but yes now I see what you meant to write and agree with you there!

[AliciaB]

Ok cool. Thanks! :)

[Molly Anna]

This was beautiful, you are so talented! So true about how we live in a self-serve world, where you're practically useless unless you can give someone else what they want. We try and try to pick ourselves up, when in actuality we are just sinking further and further into our own helplessness. We can't do it on our own, and to be honest, we weren't expected to...because there is a higher hope who has been waiting to help us out the whole time. And, working with Him, we can become who we were truly meant to be, slowly repairing our own brokenness ...

[AliciaB]

Yes! Thank you so much!

[Inject Positivity]

People are all broken, so they expect from us the parts that could heal them but sadly we are broken inside too because we are imperfect human beings... So when we give ourselves we give every bit of us, we don't have the ability to hold the bad parts and give away only the good parts.... There is a thought provoking presentation in the poem which I believe anyone can relate too and pause for a minute to think...

I enjoyed the structure and the rhyming, some lines were excellent and to be honest they were asking questions to me... I have faced a time when I hated God but at a critical moment God showed up why he is God, I know many people don't trust in God but when you experience that phase and see a glimmer of hope then you will be able to see what is God... And finally, without God we are all broken because he is our soul and power to our machinery, without him this body is nothing but just a meaningless body... But when we put God in our hearts our broken parts starts to mend because then we reflect him in the mirror....

Thank you so much Alicia for an amazing write and it is something which I love wholeheartedly.....

Sincerely,
Dhiman

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much! It means a lot to know that you appreciated this poem.

[Blysful]

This is stunning. Truly, breathtakingly stunning. I just sat staring and re-reading again and again.
There is an unexpected, but perfectly executed and extremely relatable twist from the beginning, where the world is sharing and caring but wait, hold up - lies. We can only pretend to share ourselves and care because deep down we are all dark and broken and in need of help. How can anyone ask for only the parts they want when we all share the less desirable aspects of humanity?

I loved this. Like, I'm IN love with this. This has to be one of my favourite poems that I have ever come across on this site. It's so honest and brutal but at the same time whimsical and pondering, and I just can't get enough. I'm gonna have to cut this review short, because I've gotta read it again!! 💖💘💝💗

[AliciaB]

Wow. Thank you so much! I'm glad that you could relate to this so well.

[Unknown Poet]

I really loved this poem ... Really touched my heart...
I love this stanza
"I can’t fix myself,

And I can’t fix you.

But still you’re begging me for healing,

And so I’ll do my best

To be whatever I can be for you.

I will give you everything,

The beautiful

And the broken,

Because I cannot separate

The pieces of my identity."

I can relate this ....

[AliciaB]

Thank you so much!

[Emily]

I really like this!
Keep it up!!

[AliciaB]

Thanks, Emily!

[paperfox]

Did you know that Tolkien was a devout catholic. I mention it because I read your profile and you are a fan.
I'm not a catholic myself ... just thought you might like to know.
Now ... to the meat and potatoes ...
What a poem! ... I've heard many people describe God as a monster. The main question being 'how can a compassionate God suffer the suffering? ... It's a fair question though
And that's why the poem is thought provoking.
My own feelings are best kept to myself. I would upset the theist and the atheist alike lol ... Well done!

[AliciaB]

Thank you! Yes, I did know that Tolkien was Catholic... as if he weren't already fantastic enough. :) I'm glad that you found this poem thought-provoking. The thing I'd say in response to the question (which I know isn't necessarily a question posed by you yourself, just what you've heard, but I'll answer it anyway) is that a compassionate God does not reject suffering, but rather takes it upon Himself for our sake and provides us with an example of how terrible pain can be an opportunity to show incredible love. Maybe my views will upset people too, but... what ya gonna do? :) Thanks again for the review. I appreciate it!