Eden

A man discovers his girlfriend has been cheating on him. This is a one-shot I wrote for a competition on another site.

 

He could hear her soft footsteps as she walked along the dusty corridor, the quiet padding of her socks against the hard wooden floorboards. He sighed and breathed deeply. Their scent was still in this room. Their own room in their own house. Old and tired, but theirs.

 

The silver handle on the door creaked as she twisted it and pushed the door forwards. A single beam of light ran across the floor, illuminating his reclining form upon the mattress. He breathed deeply again, her sweet perfume reaching him from where she stood.

 

Sweet perfume mingled with the smell of sweat and cologne. His brow furrowed as she walked towards him, hips swaying enticingly, hand running up her graceful neck, tongue sliding over red lips. She leant down onto the bed and crawled towards him.

 

The scent of cologne grew stronger and filled his nostrils. He grabbed her slender arms roughly and pulled her to him. She laughed breathily, thinking that this was some kind of game he was playing. He ran his nose up her neck, taking in the mingled scents.

 

A low growl built in his chest and he twisted her onto the bed and straddled her. He pinned her arms to her sides and she laughed again. He pulled away and looked into her sparkling green eyes. They were dancing with excitement, knowledge. And fear.

 

He bit the nape of her neck savagely and she cried out; a mixture of pain and a strange sort of pleasure. His teeth dug into her pale flesh and the metallic taste of blood touched his lips. Her legs brushed against him and she wrapped one around his waist, pulling him closer to her body.

 

His hands freed her arms and ran up her body from her hips. He brushed his fingers over her collarbone and tugged at the tight silken shirt that covered her torso. He heard the material rip as he tugged again until it came free.

 

Red marks covered her chest and he growled again, deeper and louder than before. Her hands roamed over his back to the bottom of his shirt and she pulled it up over his head, her eyes half closed as he squeezed her shoulders, his nails biting into her skin. He shook her and her eyes opened to stare at him. He glared down at her and her heart beat wildly. He was breathing deeply and his fingers ran across her chest pressing down upon each red mark.

 

She gasped and her eyes closed involuntarily. Their lips crashed together, smudging the red lipstick that she wore. He pressed her hard against his sturdy desk as they desperately pulled at each other’s clothes.

 

The stinging slap across her face brought the room back into focus. His eyes were livid as he pressed himself harder against her body, pulling at the zip at the side of her clinging skirt.

 

His mouth moved down her neck to her chest as she wound her legs around his waist and pulled him into her. The heady scent of his cologne filling her mind as she breathed it in deeply. Their moans combined and hung in the air of his office. The room was dark and no-one could see in.

 

She cried out in pain as he hit her again and she struggled against him, trying to push his weight off her. He snarled and pushed her flat onto the bed. The scent was in her hair; shampoo, perfume, sweat and cologne. His palm stung as he slapped her again. Her cry excited him, but at the same time made him become even angrier.

 

He groaned loudly as she twisted her fingers in his hair and kissed his neck. His strong hands grasped at her hips, desperately pulling her closer. Needing, wanting more. Their breathing was shallow as they clung to each other.

 

Her heart jolted as his fingers dug into her hips. Pain coursed through her body as he violently pushed himself against her. She cried out again and her hands flew to her face as he lifted his arm to strike her again.

 

His lips moved eagerly yet tenderly to her neck. She sighed in pleasure as his teeth grazed against her skin, his head buried beneath her hair. Their combined tempo increased and they urgently pulled themselves closer.

 

His hands moved to her neck and she struggled for breath as he pressed his weight against her windpipe. Her hands clawed at his face as her vision began to fade.

 

Their moans became louder and they no longer cared who could hear them. His hands clawed at her back as she cried out in ecstasy and he groaned deeply. Slowly they stopped and became motionless; her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, his hands on her back, his lips pressed against her neck. She pulled away and smiled at him, a small knowing smile. His hand moved to her hair as they kissed, soft and warm.

 

She could no longer see his face, but she could feel as he pushed against her body, satisfying his hunger and his anger. Her hands dropped back to the bed and she lay still. She did not hear his final growl. Nor did she notice when his hands lifted from her throat and he pushed himself off and walked from the room.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

This is the first piece of writing I have posted on this site. I hope I posted it right, if not, let me know about that as well as what you thought of the story please :)

Reviews

[Stephen Scaggs]

NO! THIS IS HORRIFYINGLY HORRIBLE! GAH! Ha ha. I'm just kidding, you write short stories better than I do. And you posted correctly and everything. The flow of this piece is nice, you use nice descriptive language. The flow doesn't hurt my eyes to read. Overall it's a nice short story. :3 Keep up your writing.

Au revoir,
Me

[K.B. Soriano]

Nice. Sensual. All the essential emotions are likewise made intact within the characters' actions.
But, I don't know, there doesn't seem to be any sort of spark into the story. Unless you really just intend to capture emotion (which you have done quite well (: ), perhaps the storyline may use a little bit of tinkering.

[Tori]

Wow, this was incredible! So well-written, and it flowed so nicely. I loved the intensity of everything. Great job!!

[Wren Ann Nicholson]

Wow. This is an emotional and powerful piece. The dark and twisted plot intertwined with the passion makes for a very compelling read. I love the intense imagery in it as well. Beautifully crafted, you did a wonderful job.

Yours Truly,
~ Wren