The Sea King

You're the mighty king
The king of the sea
But the ocean waves
Crash down in front of me

I stand here alone
Alone on the shore
My cries all have drowned
In its deafening roar

Whilst in quiet deep
You're showered with love
It seems you've forgot
This sad world up above

If I could insist
Two worlds would collide!
Two bodies made one
By the swift rising tide

For my love, you see
Is strong in its will
The ocean grips tight
My lungs eagerly fill

Fill me with vastness!
Where I do not belong
All breath spent to hear
Your royal sea court's song

Author's Note

With some motivation from a dear friend who has lots more talent than I do, I've been trying to write poems with a stricter form and rhythm.

As always, comments & critiques are appreciated. :)

Reviews

[Dushyant Patni]

I think this is a technically perfect piece. You cant really ask much more from a poem. Emotions, imagery, presentation, all the aspects that make for a truly engrossing read are present here.
I like the subject and how you use the imagery of the ocean to put your emotions across.
Reminds me of an old Cat Stevens song, 'AngelSea'.
"She ripples on the water
Leaves diamonds on the shore
And fish from every distance
Watch her ocean cellar door"

Great read, thanks for sharing. Looking forward to reading more.