Why?

“Why?”

Her eyes were bright and beautiful, I could see the moonlight from the T.V. reflecting in them.

“I…”

I had no answer.

“Why should I love you?”

I could see the sea shore in the freckles on her skin.

“You’re neurotic, inconsistent, tired,…” lips like a renaissance painting, …“You’re self conscious and pretend to be arrogant just to compensate,”… as if she were singing,… “You’re so terrified of realizing you have no confidence you never give anyone the chance to bring you down,”…a Sinatra tune… “So when they do it crushes you and you blame everyone but yourself.”…her elbow leaning on a baby grand.

“I…”

I have no answer

The car I rented is outside the apartment building. Her room is 107, it’s clean and elegant. There’s a tie on one of the chairs behind her. It’s red.

I need to go home, and when I get there…I need to go home, and when I get there…someone replace the needle.

 

“Why should I love you?”

“I…”

Go for a walk. Clear my head. 

Steet light.  Tap tap

Darkkness.  Tap tap tap

Street light.  Tap tap

Darkness.  Tap tap tap

There's a black cat on the other side of the road.  She was wearing a black dress.  She probably loves him.  I’m sure his hand shake is firm, and his hairline secure.  I’m sure the city lights are stars, I need a jar so I can catch them, then I’d always be warm.

Gas pedal.

Passing lights make me feel like I'm traveling back in time.

 

There are my clothes on the floor.

There I am in the mirror.

There are the flowers in my hand.

 

Where did this go wrong?

Author's Note

I hesitated to put this up for fear of being pyshcoanylized to death, but I've been told art is supposed to be brave so here goes nothing.

Reviews

[faryn wolff]

I'm visiting this one again. One of my favorites of yours :)

[Liza]

ahhh why ask why
why try to understand the heart with the mind...
love is love
we can convince ourselves to fall in and fall out
thought provoking piece

[faryn wolff]

Psychoanalysis would indeed make lengthy scrutiny of this, but I'll instead comment on the quality. And such quality of genuinely poignant art it is. The narrator’s distress provides descriptions that are wonderfully rich with emotion. The cadence allows for every line to flow poetically. I can't even began to share all of my favourite lines, but I am in particular awe over the one about the city lights being stars. Such beauty in this heartbreaking scene. This is brilliantly written, Nathaniel. More than deserving of a 100/100.