Ribbons

 “I wonder what shall happen.” She wondered absently, running her fingers through the ribbons of time.

He simply stared, his eyes thoughtful, bemused.

His presence coursed up her spine, sending shivers. She glanced swiftly over her shoulder, but saw nothing but the dust of summer.

A smile pulled playfully at his lips. “You will know soon...” He breathed through the crevice of his grin.

A whisper tickled her lobe, and again, she turned her head to see the nothing that was there. But a trickle of fear drizzled into her gut and she nervously shifted from one foot to the other. Perhaps she did not want to know what would happen.

From behind a spindly tree, he kicked a plume of dust into the slight breeze. It puffed like cotton into the endless blue and rolled lazily toward her long body.

A dusty breath clouded her, surrounded her. The fear froze mid drip and clattered to the bottom of her stomach. She dare not glance, dare not move, dare not breathe. Every muscle clenched when the forbidden sound of steps jostled the silence.

His grin grew as he took three long, easy strides toward her. He knew she knew he had been waiting, oh, how he'd been waiting. He was so close to her, his body only inches from her own. He could feel her heat, her burn of fear.

A scream pulsed on her lips, begging to free her of him. Her heart started its own orchestra with her veins, and they were now jumping to a new song she couldn't follow.

“Please...” She whispered, but only breath left her lips.

His lips touched her neck and she quivered like an arrow beneath his touch.

“Do you still wonder what shall happen?”

The ribbons of time stopped, started and knotted into a irreversible tie.

Reviews

[Sacha Davison]

That god-awful moment when you write a lengthy review and your laptop crashes in the midst of finalizing your thoughts. -.- I shall try to rewrite it, to the best of my memory's ability.

I definitely felt a Twilight-y vampire vibe from this piece. At first, however, I thought perhaps the feminin persona was suffering from some form of schizophrenia, or multiple-personality disorder. I also felt as though the masculine character was, perhaps, a spiritual possession of sorts. His ghostly presence was almost an etheral experience, in spite of the final lines of the piece. Regardless of my many interpretations of such a short story, this is beautifully written and is littered with exemplary imagery. Keep up the great work, I can't wait to read more!

On another note:
I adjusted my sight slightly to the right and couldn't help but notice where you're from. I was born in Abbotsford, however I've no actual memories of living there. We could have grown up together, had my parents decided to remain there. I just found that a very interesting observation. Have a great day!

[X]

Kinda sounds like that dude is a vampire! I love your descriptive ability, and the way that you describe in detail everything in your story- how sounds "tickle her ears", saying how her gut sank to the bottom of her stomach, basically replacing any simplicity with such dead-on description. This is wonderfully written and I can't wait to see more!