I Am Sound

So I tried it out to see what my wandering mind would come up with: I wrote it quite, very much so, to a large extent, stoned.

Let the silence rock you

let it call to you

sing a song of triumph

the triumph of attention:

that you may hear

nothing

more than he

“Wonderful! Wonderful!

You are mine, fellow!

All mine!”

He'll dance in your embrace

tug at your hand to

play

in your jungle gym of promise

“Silence! Oh Silence, you are my friend!”

and you waltz and howl

but

it is not understood to me

as to

why

you allow him to deafen your ears

swallow your

wallow

and tear apart your

tears

he wants nothing more than

attention

Please

hear the beauty of life

my friend

I am sound

sweet sound

I'll protect you with songs

and I'll drown you in noise

I am sound

Reviews

[alan khan]

Your last stanza was such a treat, all of your stuff has this grace to it. Keep writing.

[Faffy]

hmmmm im not sure if your structure was intentional or not but either way its very clever! well the euphoria you felt while writing this come across i can feel it!, i love the way you personify sound, more as a protective being than anything else. i have one question though: who was this about? i know it doesnt have to be about anyone but sometimes your subconscious gets a little stoned too =)

Grreat read =)

-Roshan

[AleyshaRosa]

well first, the structure was intentional halfway through when I decided I liked how it looked in my notebook.
Hehe euphoria is an understatement =P

And second

“Silence! Oh Silence, you are my friend!”
and you waltz and howl

I'm talking about Silence personified.

Well, stoned is a good place to be ;P

Thanks, as always, Roshan =]

[Damien Davison]

It was great to read out loud, and it was original. To me it was a good contribution!

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, Damien =]]

[Ethale Captor]

It is certainly different, but a beautiful write nonetheless.

[AleyshaRosa]

Different indeed.
Thanks, Ethale =]

[Ethale Captor]

No Problem.

[Dark Butterfly]

interesting. i like it!!!:)

[AleyshaRosa]

Thank you, DB =]

[X]

I like the voice here. And the style, as always, is funky in a good way. I can see the relationship aspect as well, but in a different way. It's as if sound and silence are battling it out for your attention and love, quite a cool concept. Also, nice wordplay at the end with "swallow and wallow", "tear and tears". Well done!

X

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, X =]
Funky, most definitely. Haha, I mean, what can I say, puzzling poems come the hand of a half stoned wanderer. =P
Thanks again, always appreciate your reviews

[X]

Haha ah yes indeed they can, or of a heartbroken romantic!

X

[RachelReaper]

interesting to read, people could relate to this

[AleyshaRosa]

How so?
To be honest, I was a little puzzled re-writing it from the original napkin it was written on onto a word document.

[RachelReaper]

it kind of reminds me of someone recovering from an abusive relationship, which is what I meant by that. People could relate to that, though I'm not quite sure why it reminds me of that, for some reason it does.

[AleyshaRosa]

How interesting, I'll have to re-read from your point of view!

[AleyshaRosa]

So I tried it out to see what my wandering mind would come up with: I wrote it quite, very much so, to a large extent, stoned.