sink

i sink below the surface

not on purpose

i didnt mean to

i promise

watch me drown

drag me down

into your depths

show me your crown

your waves crash

malicious, they bash

to i, unforgiven

they thrash

what have i done

to deserve this gun

shooting bullets of blue

shattering my only sun

so swallow me whole

until you are nothing less than full

eat me alive 

so you may forever thrive 

Author's Note

I couldn't bring my fingers to write another word.
Also, note the rhyme scheme is a,a,b,a

Reviews

[Jack Reaper]

the depth and emotion behind this is completely astonishing. im starting to wonder if theres anything you cant do.. the blunt pieces of anger, now with this thats so much more than it reads alone.. and then theres your playing on the rhyming scheme.. ok im going to start rambling if i dont wrap this up. its beautifully penned, and another simply great one from you. there, no more rambling.. atleast until i read your next one probably lol.

[AleyshaRosa]

Wow, thank you so much, Jack.
I always appreciate your reviews, but this... Well flattering is an understatement.

[Tunder]

Wow. This is amazing! Maybe because I've been reading The Odyssey, but I thought of Poseidon, with the mention of the crown, and what I infer to be a hurricane. This is beautiful work, I really loved it :) 100/100

[AleyshaRosa]

As always,
Thank you, Tunder
I always appreciate your reviews =]

[Jordan's Back]

nice write. i dont blame u for not writing more its depth is almost maddening. wonderful

[AleyshaRosa]

Wow, thanks, TR =]

Well, the title IS "sink" =P

[Jordan's Back]

HEY! You sunk my Battleship!!! :P

[AleyshaRosa]

Bwa ha ha ha!
Nooo I sunk your DESTROYER! =P

[B-poet]

Very interesting concept. Taunting victory while currently being diminished by something negative in some shape, form, or fashion. I like it. Great work. :)

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks for the insight and review, BP =]

[Dark Butterfly]

wow this has some real emotion behind it! keep up the good work

[AleyshaRosa]

Thank you, DB
I will try =P

[Moon]

This is wonderful . You are very skilled !

[AleyshaRosa]

Thank you very much, WS =]

[Moon]

You are welcome , AR lol

[X]

This is awesome. My favorite work of yours yet- perhaps because is reminds me of my own prose. Short, sweet, and an alternating rhyme scheme that isn't afraid to go against the grain! Like the author, I'm assuming. A good one :)

X

[AleyshaRosa]

Thank you, X =]
I love bending rhyming rules, following something either than a,a,b,b. I always appreciate your reviews, and this one is quite a compliment. Thanks again =]

[X]

No problem :) As do I- anything that I can do to go against the grain ;) Flattered that you value my feedback so much. You are welcome.

X

[TheLastEclipse]

Very clever for you to note the rhyme scheme. I enjoy it. 'Tis very spectacular. One think I am glad to have read upon my return to the site. Continue with such strength. ;)
99/100
Best of luck.

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, TLE =]
Well, I'm glad that I was a good start to digging through the 80 deep read request hole =P

[TheLastEclipse]

Yeah... Try 168. :P
But you are very welcome

[Damien Davison]

The longing is not ignored, easily felt. That last stanza is pretty intense, as you allow him to consume your life so he may feel content with his... Very nice!

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks so much, Damien =]
Mmm yes... Honestly I was going to post the poem as only one stanza: the first. However, now I think the poem would be lost without the last...
Oh the joy of irony..
Anyway, thanks again =]