Oh, the gift of giving. How wonderful
such a simple task can be. Let's not forget the excitement of falling
in love, and how great something so minuscule as learning something
new can be. These three things, the gift of giving, falling in love,
and learning, are my three passions; and in an interesting and
amazing way, they all lead back to one epic being: me.
First off, giving, When I find and
excellent gift that just seems so perfect, and I know for a fact,
will bring a heartwarming smile to ones face, I must buy it. When I
give this gift to that special someone, a smile forms on my perfect
lips. Why? Well, of course, because the gift is in my hands. I've
only invited these unpopular people to my home so that they can watch
me open my awe-inspiring gift and cry at how wonderful I am.
I've fallen in love several times, but
for some odd reason, it never felt right. It was as if I couldn't
find that special someone to share the rest of my life with. Then, a
vision came to me. In this vision, I saw that person. Incredible,
joyous, vividly perfect. This person, that I have now devoted my life
to, is me. I've never been happier. In fact, I allow myself to spoil
myself just to make myself happy. Who needs peasants as lovers
anyway?
The last, but certainly not least, is
learning. I am an avid reader, and I find great satisfaction in
teaching myself magnificent facts that no one else will ever know. If
anything disgusts me more, it is sharing what rightly belongs to me.
The love of my life also enjoys my readings. I believe that I know
more than any other being, simply because they share their thoughts,
and I do not. Those mere beings are incredibly stupid if you ask me.
Of course, I already know you'll ask me because I am above you, but,
as you now know, you will not know by means of me.
In conclusion, the three things I have
just mentioned are the three things that are most important to me. I
am overwhelmed with joy when give things to myself, I cannot help but
fall in love with myself and of course, I am beautified by all the
things I know. Vanity is of the utmost importance, and I have
developed that quality more than any other being. Thank you for
listening to my awesome speech. Wait... That means you've learned
things from me. No, scratch everything above! You may know nothing
about me you insolent creature!