Immaculate Deception

In a quiet voice I know what to say, in a loud voice I wish I never had spoken.

My eyes do not listen when I tell them to stop

Looking at the glass for more imperfection,

One more unbeautiful thing to cover up

From my face, my body: this creation.

 

Yet the feet I have keep moving to burn

This weight I have on my head,

Making these eyes so heavy tonight;

I sleep holding my heart in my hands.

 

No beauty lies in this cavity

I attempt to fill with empty dreams.

‘Can’t stop won’t stop’ I say in light,

But curled at night I’m set to die.

 

The shutter watches my every move,

I key to erase the images that kill me inside,

And they don’t know what day it was,

When I let their lessons go.

 

Because days can go by

and they’ll love someone else,

weeks change me now and I realize

I haven’t been loved yet myself.

 

They don’t know I’d kill to be desired,

All that is present is a cold, vacant room.

Craving for a body just next to mine,

An eternity of such could send me to bliss.

 

Yet nothing can cure this cancer they call time,

That I’m missing by looking down to my feet.

But I wake to the thought of a dream so sweet,

And sleep to the beautiful nightmare I keep.

 

But tears do not pool above my eyes,

And blood can’t stain the carpet floor,

Just cramps inside me against the wall,

standing against your arms to fall. 

Author's Note

Tell me what you think...and what you think this means (:

Reviews

[Violette]

I kinda see this as someone who think they're not good enough all the time, yet no one notices, and most people think this person is absolutely fine. I like the last part a lot! also how the last few sections rhyme really well...even if some of them don't rhyme they seem to hit home just as much because they're so real. Btw, I really like the title. Cool wordplay!!!!!!!!!!

[nicolo]

"Yet nothing can cure this cancer they call time"

This just gave me an orgasm....

[Gaige]

To me it tells the story of someone incredibly lonely, and their greatest desire is to have someone to hold, cherish and love them. But they have a specific person in my mind, and it is only this person who can end their loneliness. They themselves understand this, and they continue on seeking, yearning for this one soul they know fits theirs perfectly. Until they have this person no other will do, and they bide their time with delusions and dreams in hope that one day all they could fathom of happiness comes true. But in truth they are bereft of hope, for that which they desire, this life with the one they love, will never come to be. At least that's what this reminded me of in my own past. :]

[Sudhanshu]

I have always felt that loneliness kills slowly and silently. This is a very well written poem and kudos to you for that.I loved those lines, "weeks change me now and I realize I haven's been loved yet myself," This to me seems to be the very soul of your poem.

[Beaner166]

Lots of emotion. Very well done. I love it for the way it's written but I am curious . Is this truly how you've felt?

[Jaco (Jaik Miller)]

I clicked on you because your name was fun to say.
This was the first thing i clicked on and im impressed.
I really like it and you. Good work and i'll read some more.