First: You're being too hard in your note. The poem was great. I had several "fav" lines here: Black whispy ashes...I'll be your ghost...well on and on. I only came here cuz I saw a review you did that killed me...then I read your profile which was genius...and now I find a great poem...ok, gonna go read more...hey your 14 hours ahead of me, can you tell me what happens tomorrow? Thanks LOL
I like this. It is different to see two perspectives and it left me wanting more, and with a need to help! lol I just launched a writing contest on my blog, you should enter! Just got to,
www.Write-About-This.blogspot.com
and the guidelines are on the right-hand side.
The poem is actually very realistic. How easy is it for one to fall back in the arms of the ones she loves? Even though probably she swore never to do it again. I love the way you expressed your emotions, and compared them to nature, like the following:
"When the light of your sun
Slowly burned me down
To black, wispy ashes
That dance in the wind"
I also really like the verse which follows. I know how that feels actually, it's pretty normal to feel like that I guess, or at least, I feel like that too sometimes.
"You took everything in me,
That used to have a glow."
The first time I read this, it was amazing. I loved your detail, and your strong words. Your imagery is fantastic, and you did a really good job. I especially loved this line:
"You threw me in the ocean,
I died in the waves."
Excellent! :)
My name's Aleyah :)
I adore world culture and diversity,
I can't stand moths and egg salad
I drink orange juice like its my job!
I hardcore want to travel the world some day ♥
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