The fear of feeling.

I'm becoming vulnerable again,
The feeling is slowly returning.
Fear envelopes my soul again,
I don't want to repeat the past.

Can I not live in solitude,
Or fall in love with lonesome?
I can coexist with my demons, or
preferably forget them altogether.

I don't mind holding my breath,
I'd rather turn blue than try again.
My hands have yet to fail me,
It's the others that never seem to grasp.

I'll plummet back to the familiar,
Trashing upon the memories.
Fighting everyone out of my mind,
Until I'm the last one standing again.

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

They say you have to learn to be content by yourself before you can be content in a relationship. Despite its truthfuless, that's the worst-sounding cliche there is. What's so damn miserable is that it's true. Being alone, and being happy about it, is a hard way to live. Being afraid to feel, to open up because of getting hurt . . . story of my young life. Part of what drove me to be a writer.

[Mama Topaz]

Yes, johnny, these feelings are universal for people of thoughtfulness and caring... it is a gamble, this caring business. Excellent last stanza, my favorite of the piece.

[WhiteWillow]

This is a great piece! Love the hands/grasping analogy, and the last stanza is perfect. Great write on a tough topic.

[The White Wolf]

This is very easy to relate to. There is a comfort zone I think a lot of us return to when we feel like we can no longer fight and that is what you have brought to light here. There is always such a realness to your words that keeps me coming back to read. As always, well written and felt out, my friend.

[joshua deathdealer]

I can relate to these very feelings. Almost a reflective cleaning house type of read. I love it and I love that I feel the truth in every word. Cheers xo