Nightmares: Counting on the sunrise.

The memories dance back inside me,
chilling my bones back to crystal form.
The pain steals my breath away,
The masochist within me moans.
My subconscious fails to sense the danger,
I ignore the need to feel concerned.

I feel warm when the world around me crumbles,
It's so comfortable to return to the familiar.
The sensation of feeling is overwhelming,
I long for the cool numbness I used to know.
I could return this all to the casket,
But breathing feels so f*****g good.

I feel warm when the memories disintegrate,
I shut my eyes and bask in the silence.
The shadows seep into the cracks,
in just enough time for the sun to rise.
Night will always fall upon me,
I count the hours until the sun saves me. 

Reviews

[Mockingbird]

i agree, sometimes we long for the time when we were just numb. and being averse to change, i am also comfortable with the familiar. this is a very thought-provoking and insightful poem. great piece.

[symmetryAsymmetry]

been there, my friend...it's addictive...it's a quicksand trap...the more we struggle the faster it kills...
a very very VERY powerful write... :-)

[Kaylor Mason]

This is honest and very, very true. I still wait for the sun a lot, when black waves of depression surround me and I feel like the center of my chest is broken, just behind the breastbone; like the weight of whole world is sitting on top of your chest, and your body shakes all over and you have to fight to find the will to breathe . . . if you'll pardon the pathetic cliche: it will get better, but it takes time--true healing takes a lot of time (took well over nearly two decades with me). Your words are really alive in your poetry--they give them life and souls in a powerful, spiritual sense.

[...]

This is real. Not only is it well written, but it captures the exact emotion of a dark and depressed state, which I too, understand. "But breathing feels so f*****g good"...love it!