On the floor again.

The realization that love has died, and anger from all the time wasted.

Come home, back to me and all you left.
I'll swallow my pride and accept your
addiction, the hole in your soul
I couldn't occupy. Lie quietly in
bed with me, toke up and snuggle
into my side. You'll be high, and
I'll be happy for the first time
since the night you said goodbye.

You'll fall asleep and breathe softly,
exhaling the scent I grew to hate.
I'll shiver to the murmurs escaping
your perfect lips as you sleep.
I'll caress your hand, place it
lightly upon my heart. Trace
your fingers with my own,
and cry myself to sleep.

Wake up with you turned,
facing away from me in fetal
position. Wrapped up tight
in our comforter, leaving me with
none. I shiver but refrain from
bothering you, I get up and
walk downstairs. Start the kettle,
turn it off and take a shot instead.

Half a bottle later, I grab an afghan
and stumble to the couch... I
try to convince myself that you
love me, and that I'm happy... I
know I'm delusional and I know that
everything will become as it was.
I debate getting up, downing my
ambien with the rest of the bottle.

You wake up and walk downstairs...
I'm on the floor again, you gently shake
me back into awareness. "Babe, why
are you on the floor again"? I fumble
searching for a lie... I find nothing
so I kiss you instead. I realize, right then
at eighty thirty seven in the morning,
that our spark is truly dead...

I look you in the eyes, and ask you
if you love me... You hesitate for a
bit then continue with "yeah, of
course. Babe". I vomit in my mouth,
as you spew such a careless, cliche
response. I break down and run
to the kitchen. Gulp down as
much Jack as my stomach allows me.

Throw a bag at your face, and scream...
Get the f**k out!

Author's Note

This is how I envision reuniting with my drug addicted ex boyfriend. Sad, but true. I was having a moment of weakness so I had to remind myself, of what it would be like.

Reviews

[NightShade]

Wow! I'll say that again, backwards: !woW

Such savage honesty with oneself is rare enough but the way you put it out there was like an emotional tour de force; complete with stunning visual hints at just HOW tough the situation could be. Good for you! Don't deal with it, because it wouldn't do anything good for either of you. OK, unsolicited advice is bad form... How about I just say that this piece evoked a strong reaction and I'd say that qualifies this as one incredible bit of literature.

[Cody Michael]

I'm truly in awe at this piece of work. The depth at which it is written is truly mesmerizing, the raw emotion it portrays is captivation. I truly love the pure self honesty you present. Im completely ensnared and captivated.

[SpokenWord]

Your work has that raw truth spun between words as you bare your soul to us. This one is stunning in the hard hitting truth as to what it is like to live with someone who is not only addictive but no longer in love going through the motions. Sad tale but done well. Enjoyed it.

[Giovanni]

great i like it

[Dove]

woah... i wasnt expecting that at the end but great poem.

[EMMIE]

I JUST STUMBLED ACROSS UR STUFF. ONE WORD: A-FREAKING-MAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY NOW MORE WORDS: THIS IS SO DEEP SO DARK SO MYSTERIOUS SO WONDERFUL SO SELF EXPRESSIVE. JUST RAW! LOVE IT!

[Misty Blue Eyes]

i really loved this im putting it in my library for sure...its something i can read over and over again

[joshua deathdealer]

I like the honesty in this poem as well. Great portrayal of these feelings..xx

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime better to write poetry. Real life can be hell. Ain't easy in any separation. I like the strong and honest words in this poem. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote