Stay here, stay mine.

Based from nostalgia. In order to understand this piece I must be blunt. This is based off a two month relationship with a boy, who was "straight".

Roll out of bed, no words exchanged... You
gaze out the window, clearing your throat.
Silence fills the room, soon accompanied
by smoke. You fight the lighter, cursing
as each attempt to light mine fails.
Words collect in my charred throat,
but I swallow them... Avoiding the
fight that would definitely follow.

It's not hard to see, that you are clearly
ashamed... I dragged you from your comfort
zone, and guided you to my bed. Perhaps
its the alcohol, you could be tired still,
from last nights soiree... Maybe you're just
tired of me, and my constant complications.
My pathetic advances to extract any emotion
from what seems to be my lifeless lover.

I want to break through the prison, holding
all your emotions hostage... Give me just a
glimpse that you feel something for me,
something at all... So I can breathe, take you
in my arms... Or release you if need be.
I can't continue this constant routine
of emptiness, we have become ashes
to one another. Burning down to the butt.

Give me a sign... A kiss, or a hug, or hit me.
Clench your fist, and drive it into my face...
Let me know how you feel, if not through words
than with a verb. I can't lie here forever, suffocating
beneath the comforter waiting for you to say something.
Open your heart to me, if you can't then leave.
I don't deserve this cycle, alive at night, then
you die in the morning. You kill me, daily.

Tomorrow when I wake up, I want to be confident
in knowing that I'm not wasting my time. I need to
wake up next to your smile, your arms holding me tightly.
I want you to whisper assurance from your lips into
my ear. If you can't handle who you are then go...
Lie to some poor girl, you'll break her heart, as you
do mine, then crawl back. I will reject your plea,
so stay right here. Hold me, and stay mine.

Author's Note

I hope you enjoy this, it was rather hard to muster the memories. This is based off a real time in my life.

Reviews

[S.Hunt]

The inbetween the not knowing captured so well
I felt your resistance to silence

[Dream Weaver]

People ridicule what they don't understand.
Always have and always will, there is much
depth of emotive yearning in this write.
So sad that it's based on a real event..
A great piece of writing here...

[joshua deathdealer]

Excellent penning. Being bi I have experienced a similar situation with a straight man and it is an awful feeling. "Words collect in my charred throat" Love that line and this one as well. "alive at night, then you die in the morning."..xx

[NightShade]

You write with a masterful pen. Covering the expanse of a hollow purgatory, all too many can readily identify with. The outpouring is gripping and holds onto something a bit more palpable than the mind. Your facility with written expression is astounding.