A Soul In Love

Finding love is hard, finding and losing true love is even harder.

 

To be dating again after years of marriage was just too much to bear. How many times would I pick the wrong one? Why couldn't my soulmate find me? I was tired of looking, tired of trying. I lived my life without love. Didn't I finally deserve what others found so easily? That elusive emotion, pure and all consuming? I was ready, gone was the wanderlust of my youth. I was ready to find my soulmate.

 

Internet dating, how would I ever find my soulmate in cyberspace? What ever happened to phone calls, movies, chance meetings in some out of the way bar? Time had moved on with out me. Never one to back down from a challenge though I hit the search engines looking for the dating site that would bring my soulmate to me. It didn't take long and I fielding emails from this one, text messages from that one and promises of wild one night stands if that was what I was looking for. Obliviously men had not changed, just the way to find them had.

 

His words on the page caught me, drew me in and made me want to know more about him. He used the word passion more than once and not in a sexual context. I am a very passionate person and seeing this word used freely without fear of ridicule awakened a spark in my soul. We agreed to meet the next day. What would he be like, would he like me? I felt like a teenager on a first date. What to wear was my main concern. I picked jeans and a new, soft, silk, blue top. Blonde and blue eyed I should probably wear other colors but blue has always made me feel stronger, more sure of myself.

 

When I met him at the door his height hit me first. As I stand just under five feet his over six foot frame caused me to suck in my breath. He brought two small boys in tow. Both miniature versions of their father. Looking at them I could tell they had seen their father through a few of these dates and were thinking ahead to what they would be doing once this ordeal was over. The younger of the two had a small smile on his face as my Greyhound Gretta came around the corner to peek through my legs. Gretta is my protector, yes you may say Greyhounds are not guard dogs. I must agree with you. If you came to rob me she would point out all the valuables, beg for a cookie and help you carry out the lighter items. Mess with me though and you will have teeth, long legs and a ninety pound dog taking you down.

 

Gretta, always wondering if food is coming her way, walked up to the man's youngest and rudely sniffed his hands looking for a treat. The boy laughed, eyes lighting up. He gently rubbed her on the head and let her lick his cheek. The boy's kindness to this animal, his gentle way with her told me so much about the man before me. He had raised these children to love, and to respect. Values I hold in high regard. Finally he made a move, extended his hand to me, and then petted Gretta on the head. His voice came from somewhere deep in his chest, low but kind. As we made introductions, our eyes met for a fleeting second. Something inside me stirred. You know him it said, you've met him before.

 

After getting comfortable in my living room I listened as he explained what he and his sons were doing that weekend. Hearing mere bits and pieces I spent the time racking my brain trying to remember where I knew him from. Work, a friend, our local hangout? Nothing felt right but somehow I knew we had met before.

 

That first meeting turned into a fourteen month relationship. Fourteen months of loving, laughing, and sharing. His boys became mine, his home, my home. Fourteen months later I realize where I knew him from. We are soulmates, when we are together we smile, happy to be back with the one that makes us complete. Our relationship ended due to human weakness. We love each other, need each other but the evil of this world cannot stand happiness. Evil seeks out those that are content, and in love. Like misery, evil loves company. It places thoughts of others into our heads, makes us turn an eye to a short skirt, a tight fitting sweater. Evil took my soul mate from me. Made him doubt his feelings, his wants and desires. Took our happiness and love and turned it into lust. As my heart heals my soulmate continues to reach out to me. A text here, a call there. I am standing firm, giving evil a run for his money. I will not give into his plea's for sex only. My soulmate gave me something that evil cannot duplicate or replace. Love is strong, it is patience and forgiving. My soulmate reaches out to me when evil leaves him empty, when his heart aches for me. This battle for love is going on all around the world, a fight one never knows if they will win. Is the prize worth the fight? Ask yourself and if it is stand firm, secure in the knowledge that good always overcomes evil and love is never ending.