My Name is Alice

Story about my friend

My name is Alice.

Trapped and locked away in darkness, my wrist bound by rusted chains; bleed crimson. My face is moist and sticky from the countless tears. My screaming and pleading was only rewarded by another beating, only this time he didn’t stop. His hands reached for the tattered rags that still clung to my skin, ripping them off in swift drunken motions. My screams and cries were muffled by his hands. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could say, nothing would change his mind. Hanging there, I was exposed to anything he wanted from me.

He reeked of sweat and chewing tobacco when he was through with me. The hands clamped on my mouth moved grazing my cheek. His eyes were empty and hallow like the echoing of an old rusted well dried up like star dust. His voice cracked with every word that slithered past his lips.

“Alice, why don’t you trust me? Why do you scream, when you know no one will help you?” he waited for a response. “Why don’t you love me anymore? I feed you; I take care of you, what more do you want from me?” He had my face within his hand, squeezing tightly forcing my skull to ache from the pressure. “Why wont you talk to me anymore? Do you understand the pain you put me through sometimes? We barely talk anymore Alice…I miss it.”

He placed a strand of hair that was hanging in my face behind my ear. I honestly couldn’t believe what my father was saying to me. No, not father, not anymore; he’s only a stranger, a monster. His sick infatuation with me is terrifying and unimaginable. I couldn’t bare another touch, another beating, his way of expressing his “love” for me was…inhuman.

Over the next few days the abusive treatment he so willingly supplied me seemed to never end. When he finally released me from my prison, my wounds crusted over like leathery scabs. The shower called to me, dead bolting the door I stripped my self as carefully as possible of my rags, avoiding even more damage. Stepping within the confines of steam that consumed my body, the walls the shower provided gave me some sort of sanctuary from the chaotic world outside the bathroom door. 

The water washed away the rusted scarlet that had once smeared my flesh, images of the nights before flashed through my mind enabling me to breath. Staggering to the shower floor, curling in a tight ball, rained on by searing droplets of water. I cry, I just lay there and cry, there was nobody in the world that could understand my pain and I soon realized nobody could.

I sometimes wished for a new life, and sometimes I wished for death. I would wish and wish and wish till it hurt, till I hurt. Some one has to be listening, they just have to or I wouldn’t know what else to live for, I’d be alone. But that’s how I feel right now, all alone. I remember what happened that day, I was hiding, and I wished he wasn’t going to find me, I wished him to never come home.

Yes, this I remember very very well…

Hidden away inside my closet, pressed against the cold wall, safely sheltered by a fence of old dusty coats. I sit here, silent and motionless waiting for him to return, to find me, I wait for his rage. My eyes pressed shut tighter and tighter till they screamed for mercy; silent cries ached pasted my lips, tiny drops of liquid escape my eyes gently scaling my reddened cheeks. I hear the front door slamming shut, glass breaking, violent words and my name he calls. Fear fuels my lungs, his foot steps pound in my head as he stomps up the stairs. His voice slurs my name, asking me to come out.

“Alice…? Where are you, you b*****d!” My hands muffle my panicked shriek when he finally emerged the stair case. Bursting through every door tarring apart room after room he hunts for me. My fear deepens, my silence is urgent but I don’t know how long it will last.

“Daddy only wants to play…Come out d****t!” A thick fog of cheap whiskey fills my lungs and I unsuccessfully forced myself not to gag.

He found me.

With so much anger and hate he broke the door right off its hinges and I screamed. Looking up at him I noticed he was smiling he grabbed my scalp and dragged me across the floor screaming, my legs thrashing about wildly, nails clawing at the floor boards. Throwing me inside my room I ran for the door but he’s already locked it, I’m trapped.

“It’s not nice to hide from me; I raised you better than that!” I only knew an intensely sharp pain evolving in my chest where he’d kicked me. My screams, my apologies, my sorrows were unheard by no one; his beating lashed out upon me like hellfire. He grabbed me and threw me against the stone wall, my bones nearly broken I fall to the floor. Motionless and silent my head bleeds through the cracks in the floor, he hits me and kicks me till my vision turns black, his voice echoing in my head.

 

“It’s your fault I suffer at work! It’s your fault my wife left me! You’re the reason to everything!” His venomous words stung my very core.

“I’m sorry!” I scream, but he doesn’t hear me. Oh please god have mercy, oh please let it end. But no one can hear me, no one can help. This is the end…I could feel it.  I watch him beat my body till I finally see myself die.

I lay here motionless with my bones nearly broken, with a killer and his ghost, the house is finally silent, finally at peace.

My name is Alice,

I was six-teen

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me…