Chapter Two: Avery's Point of View

I tried to wash away my feelings in the shower; I couldn't shake the thoughts running through my head. It was something I had to do, something I was trained to do. I didn't know any other way then completing a contract, but this was something far different. All the other contracts had been older men, people that could honestly hurt my father. But this boy was a child; the same age as myself ... it was like killing myself.

I had to talk to his father; I had to make him change his mind. I could kill anyone but this boy; it was too hard on me. But I had to choose my words carefully, making sure not to out myself or make it seem like I was disobeying my father. I needed to make him see killing a child my age wouldn't help in any way.

Combing my brunette hair back, making sure it was neat, I put a cap over my head. I put on some nicer dress clothes, covering scars from past fights. I quickly put on some dress shoes and opened my door. Feeling very different, I hated wearing dress clothes. I liked to be able to just relax and wear some jeans, even though my father did not like it.

Walking down the corridor, I was trying to think of how I was going to say what I needed to say. I was trying to think of the words that I could say without upsetting my father, without setting off his temper. I really didn't want to sound like I was asking too many questions, but I really wanted my father to see the error in killing this boy.

Turning the corner to see a woman washing the floor, she was wearing a torn dress, which she had owned way before she had been married to my father. Yes, my mother was still around, but she was a mere object to my father. She was forced to marry him when he saw her with her father in the market years ago. He gave the father 6 million dollars and he was now the "owner" of the woman. He only needed her to breed a boy, a successor to his throne. He had been married four times before, but each woman had made a girl ... so both the woman and the daughters were slain.

I stopped by my mother, with whom I loved. I really had a different idea of how a woman should be treated. The kids at school say there grandmothers talk about how their mothers were treated as equals, they still did the washing and the cleaning, but the fathers treated them like gold. Most people outside my father's little party treated woman how they should be treated, with dignity. My mother was the unfortunate one that got my dad.

Suddenly it clued in; even my own mother was not to talk to me unless spoken too. She was not allowed to hug me, say a word to me or kiss me unless I told her to. I hated it, I just wanted her to be my mother and love me the way she should. But, if my father ever found out that she did anything without my approval, she would be put to death. And like most human beings, death was not something she wanted.

"Hi Mommy." I spoke softly, I absolutely adored my mother. I was never rough with her, never treated her badly. She was like gold to me.

"Good Day, Sir." She said, as lovingly as possible, without sounding too comfortable.

I hated the way she had to speak to me, calling me "sir". I was her god damn child for f**k sakes. She should be able to call me "hunny" or "sweeatheart" or some kind of other pet name parents use for their children. I wanted a f*****g pet name.

"Please stand up." I asked nicely, giving her my hand.

Hesitating, my mother finally grabbed my hand and got up, but she stood still, even as I wrapped my arms around her waist, she still stood there like a mannequin. It was horrible; I had to tell her everything. I hope to God my father dies before my mother so when I come into power, she can truly be the mother I want.

"Hug me. Please" I asked in a sad tone, even though I didn't have to, I always said please and thank you to her. She deserved it.

I felt her soft arms wrap their way around my neck, closing around my body and pushing me in tightly. This was the only time she could really let loose and love me, this was the only time she could honestly hold me. When I gave her permission, that was the only time she was allowed to be the mother I needed.

"I love you" I whispered in her ear, trying to hold back tears.

"I love you too, hunny. Please don't cry." Her response shocked me, she had talked out of turn, and she had said something I never thought she would. She defied a law, all because I felt horrible. And there it was a pet name. I could always count on her to say something sweet and caring when she was so close to my ear, so nobody else could hear.

I finally let go, scared someone would see and hurt my mother. Although, I knew not even my father would hurt her in my presence, but as soon as I walked away ... they could hit her to the ground and nobody would care. They could give her two black eyes and break open her skin and my father would say something like "still not hard enough". God, how I hated the b*****d.

I knocked on the office door, my mother got back to scrubbing the floor. I heard a man say come in before I opened the door. My father stood looking outside the giant stained glass window, which was almost as beautiful as the one in France. He turned around and the frown warmed when he saw me, he didn't smile ... he just got less angry.

"Son! What do I owe the pleasure of seeing you today? I would think you would be out for the kill already. Did Kevin not bring you the files?"

His stone cold face glared at Kevin, who was sitting in a chair in the corner. He always assumed the worst of someone. I hated how he acted like nobody could do anything right, nobody could do it the way he would.

"Not at all father, Kevin brought them to be about an hour ago." This seemed to please my father, "I would just like to ask you a question about one of them." Trying to find the right words, I motioned for him to let me sit. Even if I hated him, I was still very afraid of him.

He motioned for me to take a seat and ushered Kevin out of the office. He sighed at me as he walked by and mouthed be careful as he walked away and closed the door. I knew I had to be careful, one slipped up word and I could end up in the dungeon by dinner.

"What is it? You've never asked a question before this."

"Yes father, I have not. I was looking over the files, seeing what unworthy a*****e I was going to kill. And eleven of them were beautifully arranged, ready for there proper deaths. But one caught me off guard, one was something I did not see coming. I wanted to talk to you about that one." I was stumbling over my words, I was so worried he would lose his temper, I was so afraid he would yell for his guards to lock me away.

He scratched his beard, sighing to himself. But he was still calm, which meant he was not thinking I was disobeying him, "You must mean Kaleb Wiis, the young son of the Rebellion leader." He put his hands down, "Is that the one you are talking about?"

My father could almost read my mind, but obviously not too well or else I wouldn't be here. He would know my secret of being gay and I would be killed instantly. I looked up at him, his icy blue eyes waiting for my response.

"Yes, sir." Was all I could say, my mind was racing.

"Let me tell you something, Avery. Let's say someone really wanted to hurt me, not physically, but emotionally. What do you think they would do? What do you think they would do to torment me mentally and emotionally?" He pressed his hand against the table, this was a sign I could speak. Even as his own son, I had to wait for permission to speak. I could remember when I was younger and didn't understand the laws and rules, I would get beaten to an inch of my life. I learnt them very quickly.

"I am not quite sure, sir. Wouldn't killing you be pretty harsh?" I stuttered, trying to think of what I was saying. I was trying to stay calm, try to stay normal, not let my voice quiver as a sign of weakness. I was not supposed to have weakness.

"No. Killing me would end all feelings and thoughts I had. They would be completely mute, because my brain would no longer function and I would be gone from this world."

I almost laughed when he said feeling; he didn't have any feelings, so how would they even matter. He had the heart of stone; I honestly didn't know how he even got blood through his veins.

"They would kill you, Avery. The way to make me absolutely miserable and hurt me the most emotionally and mentally would be to end the life of my son. That could crush most men, especially their only boy." His eyes didn't move, they didn't go soft, here he was, talking about love ... and I felt none.

I was about to speak, when he cut me off.

"Although, I would be sad, I would have to move on. I would need a successor and at my age, I would need one quickly. I would have to impregnate that w***e of a mother again. And if she didn't give me a boy, I would have to continue trying. We can't have a woman take over as my successor that would be absolutely repugnant."

There is the father I knew, the one without emotions. Sure, he'd be upset a little, but he'd move on fast. I didn't mean that much to him. I was just an object he needed to keep the family "pure".

"So, see Avery. You must end the life of the boy, because he is the only son of the Rebellion leader. If you take the life of his only son, he will be so emotionally and mentally devastated; he might do himself a favour and take his own life." I almost saw a smile, the thought of the leader taking his life over his son made him ... happy.

"But sir, if I may...." I started again, but was cut off again.

"There are no buts, Avery!" I could hear his temper starting to flare. "If you will not do it, I will find someone who will. And you will no longer be needed in my institution. And as much as it would grieve me, I would have to have you executed. Do you understand me!?"

I quietly looked down, "Yes, sir. Very sorry sir." I got up and bowed, "Thank you for having me for this discussion, sir."

"Good boy, now go get some sleep. You have a few contracts to do tomorrow!"

I left the room and went to my room, stripping into my boxers. I lie on the bed and put my head far into my pillow. And for the first time in years, I started to bawl my eyes out into the pillow.