I need a doctor

I don't need a lover, I need a doctor.

My heart is broken,
By the soft words that stubbed
my soul all over as they were
spoken.
The hope in a future colored with flowers is now forsaken,
Long gone, a thing I never wish to ever awaken.

I need someone to help me mend my heart.
My heart is broken, a thing I
couldn't see at the start.
The start was beautiful; a rainbow; shades of bliss.
Bliss is now as hurtful a thought as our first kiss.
First kiss from and angel, the last from a demon.
A demon who ripped my soul
and then was gone.
Gone as the wind, a thing I can
never run after.
After that you left me for dead by the road side, all I need is a
doctor.


Keep Smiling

Reviews

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I really like this since I've been in this position before atleast two or three times! I love the emotions that are captured in your poem, any reader can sense them.

"I need some to help me mend my heart.
My heart is broken, a thing I
couldn't see at the start." I love those lines since that's how I feel about my recent break-up.

Mistakes:
Although I think the first line should be -- *I need someone to help me mend my heart.*
(First kiss from and angel, last from a demon) --*First kiss from an angel, last from a demon*
P.S.- You're an excellent writer! I'll be reading more of your work soon :)

Ashley Rivers-- Keep writing :D

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi your style is good. I think the reference to ash could have been a little more pain inducing such as "That stubbed my soul with burning ash" ? The ending was alittle weak; maybe
Gone as the wind, an element I can chase
But never catch
You left me dead at the roadside
All I need is a doctor!

Don't mean to be pushy just love the 'story' and want it to be a WOW!

[Alexander143]

Thanks alot John. I really appreciate your aid. It will go a long way, believe me you.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hope so. I like your writing though so will read more.

[Junert]

Yeah a doctor you do need.

[Alexander143]

Do you want to diagnize me? It wont cost you a penny. Lol

[Junert]

Lol I'm no doctor.

[Alexander143]

Neither am I heart broken, just a good actor.

[Junert]

Lol but I wasn't refering to you. To the speaker in the poem. Unless the speaker and the poet are one.

[Alexander143]

I see... Well, at that particular moment, the time of writing, I mean, the two were one.

[Junert]

Fine you win. Lol