Bled

We've all felt the desperation/frustration of unrequited love; sometime's we're the ones who create those feelings. This poem intends to emphasize some of those feelings.

Bled

 

it’s what you don’t say, which speaks louder than words

it’s that resounding silence, the darkest of the piano’s chords

 

it’s the way you shrug, you sigh--you become ever so small

it’s the way that you’re there, but truly not there at all

 

forlorn, you are curled in the arms of that old tattered chair

looking somewhere, but nowhere, twisting your unruly hair

 

your shoulders are slumped; your lips forever smile down

you’ve the look of a princess, mourning her lost crown

 

 I’M SORRY hangs by a noose in the stillness of the room

met with no mercy, they face their own ill-fated doom

 

my voice moves the rafters; I implore, PLEASE hear my plea

i pull at my clothes, your clothes--yet you still don’t see

 

a vase crashes, crumples, scatters, before your unflinching eyes

the deepest freeze during winter--this is your unyielding guise

 

a dragon’s fire couldn’t make a drop melt from your heart

you’re but two feet away, yet we’re two worlds’ distance apart

 

for someone who “loves love stories,” as you so eloquently say

it seems that ours is more befitting of your “love to hate” cache

 

perhaps this one time, you shall feel the solitude of an empty bed

and dwell in your twisted joy, knowing that my heart’s been bled

 

i’ve no fervor left to continue for I see my love’s been taken in vain

enjoy the vacant power of your throne; revel in your miserable reign

 

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

Having read this through ,my mind takes off
on a tangent. We can save the world for
a republic such as ours simply by making love
to all the dissidents and when we have them
securely in our power we tighten the screws,
make them feel we may leave. All the dissenters
of the world will be incpacitated and lay down
their arms.
I loved your story, but the poor woebegotten
unrequieted will not have me to beat up on.
Sure you are. You are the top writer--- wish I
could simpathize with the unrequieted, but they
will survive.
---- Eagle Cruagh

[Richard Man]

Here it is.Bide with me as I unravel my thoughts. First reading... this is a bit disjointed. Second reading ... these seem like post-it notes dotted around the flat. Third reading; This is fabulous anger, sorrow, rage, pain, exasperation and depression... I guess I am getting inside your head. I like the structure of these rhyming couplets... one sided dialogue ... as if you were talking to someone over the phone but being unable to hear the replies.... definitely not a monologue.

[Lexi I.]

I am glad this grew on you. I tried to draw on some of those feelings of anger and rage and especially pain...the pain of unrequited love. Perhaps the worst pain of all.

[CecilA]

NoJane,

I agree with the previous reviews and thank Geon for guiding me to your wonderfully executed and superb poem. Publish this for the world to read. It literally pushes all my emotional buttons. It's a full course meal of verse with dessert and the best wine.

[Lexi I.]

THANK you, Cecila! I am touched that my simple words could affect others in such a way. Thank you for reading.

[Icelanna]

I love this! It's amazingly written and it's so emotive and you use really good imagery as well. I love it :) x

[Lexi I.]

THANK YOU for reading!

[Fréyjä Helv..]

I loved how you portrayed unrequited love. And for someone who had felt this before, I could relate so much to appreciate it's contents, it's structure and flow and the well played metaphors and how it was expressed in deep desperation and sorrow...A fine read...

[Lexi I.]

Thank you for reading, and I am glad that I could relate to others. I think we've all felt unrequited love--to some degree--in our lives, which makes some of those emotions so powerful.

[KeeD]

Excellent choice of words. Truly a language fit for kings, you've encompassed the aspect of hurt and heartache in a spectacular way. Kudos, Keep writing. Kee.

[Lexi I.]

Thanks, Kee!

I appreciate the feedback!

[Baby Ricochet]

GoGood onone

[Lexi I.]

Thank you!

[Frieda P]

This certainly speaks to the dying spirit when a relationship no longer is viable. It's an outstanding read, very relaltable on so many levels. It speaks to me. Kudos

[Lexi I.]

Freida, thank you for reading. As happy as I am that others can relate to the poem, it is also a bit unfortunate that most of us can relate to unrequited love. Right?

[Frieda P]

Very definitely correct, unfortunately tis a part of life, a most painful one at that...

[Carolann Dowsett]

beautiful, has a mystical quality about it. Love it.

[Lexi I.]

Thank you, Carolann! I am so shocked by all these positive responses!

[Carolann Dowsett]

You shouldn't be, your an awesome poet.

[Geon Quuin]

I agree with Carolann. All I did was give you a little exposure. Submit more work and your talent will be recognized.

[InsanityWriter]

Wow. This was amazing! I could really feel the passion. ^_^ Great job!!

100/100

[Lexi I.]

THANK YOU! I appreciate the feedback. :)

[TheDuchessDiary]

I am seeing a story behind this. It's like a musketeer who was in love with a princess and that the princess chose the throne rather than their forbidden love. just a thought. lol This is such a wonderful write :)

[Lexi I.]

I'm glad a story came out of it. That's what I feel a poem should do!