Fleeting

It was a midsummer’s night

When what I never wished for

Came true

All was going perfectly

At last we finally kissed

Fruitless

I loved her with all my heart

And she loved me equally

In vain

We both had nobody else

Neither siblings nor parents

No one

As time soared beyond us both

We were to spend the summer

Alone

She had a cabin up North

I was excited to go

Heedless

The time for the trip arrived

That night I had a nightmare

Portent

It was a midsummer’s night

Losing control of her car

She died

I awoke, greatly relieved

When what I never wished for

Was false

The next night my relief blanched

It had seemed that the nightmare

Came true

Author's Note

A good friend of mine convinced to me write a poem, and here is the finished piece. Hopefully you like it, and any advice or feedback is much appreciated!

Reviews

[Oliver Free]

Even though I've seen this poem a few times before you posted it, I figured I'd leave a little review. I feel as if you brilliantly conveyed emotion through this piece. My favorite bit has to be the form, 7/7/2, which most certainly gives the poem a really good flow. I'd say that touching up some of the wording in certain lines, such as "It was a midsummer’s night / Losing control of her car / She died," would make this poem all the more wonderful. Good stuff! I hope you write more poems soon.

[Alexander Quinn]

Thank you! I like incorporating some type of form into things, even if it is just a free write. Those last three stanzas I had a bit of trouble with since I tried to include the first stanza into all three, so hopefully with my next poem the wording can be better and make it sound nicer. Again, thank you so much!