Chapter Four

“Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” Psalms 25:16

* * *

The clock turns to 12:40 when Les Murphy finally enters the building. His class begins at 12:51. Eleven minutes. Les wipes the sweat from his forehead. He makes sure his outfit for the day looks good. He was dressed in an ironed down indigo colored button up with a dark vest. No tie. He wore dark slacks and dark loafers. The outfit stayed generally the same everyday, with the shirt being an exception. Les owned many different colored button up shirts, which he was very proud of. His young face and muscular body were personified by the clothes he were. Along with his flowing blonde hair, the outfit just looked good to him. It looked good to many of the girls as well, staff and students accordingly.

He was disappointed in himself that he could just sit in his driveway for so long. He had become incredibly sidetracked thinking about the night before and hadn’t realized that he had sat in his driveway for nearly an hour. An hour. The trance he had been put in was that great. Once he figured out he had very little time to get to school and prepare today’s practice, he had put the car in reverse and took off faster than he ever would’ve in a normal situation. Les knew he needed to get there in time for his Symphonic orchestra class. He would be disappointed if he didn't get to see Alicia Sullivan today.

* * *

Robinwood High School’s orchestra room was extremely wide and extremely tall. The floors were tiled all the way down and the walls were all cinder block painted over with white paint. On the wall on the far right was where the bass stands were. They stood in a long row with the tall instruments being held carefully to them. On the wall  parallel to the whiteboard is where the windows and cello stands were. Today was sunny and warm so the sun pierced through and hurt Les’s eyes. He would close the blinds in a minute.  It was quite a simple place for gorgeous music to be played, but he loved it anyway.

Les set up all the sheet music on his podium in the front of the room. Behind was the white board with music notes and music terminology scribbled all over it. D. A. C. G sharp. Crescendo. Decrescendo. Fortissimo. Mezzo piano. Les looked this over and was filled with a sense of pride. Against all odds from his parents and his attacks, Les Murphy was able to create something for himself. He taught others one of the only things he truly loved so they could love it too. He saw no problem in that.

He spent five minutes quickly setting up the sheet music, straightening out any of the chairs in the room, making his sure the instruments he used were tuned, and then went and sat in his office. Through his open doorway, he looked into the room that would soon have all of his students inside of it. Les thought back to when he was in high school.  

* * *

Les Murphy’s freshmen year had been an exciting time. In middle school, he grew as a musician quite fast and surprised his teachers, as well as himself, how quickly he was able to learn. This was all, of course, against the will of his mother and father, but Les stopped caring. Now that he was in high school, he knew he had more free choice of what classes to take, a broader group of people in which to meet, and harder courses that would challenge him and make him a better student.

He instantly felt challenged but was quite alright with this. The challenges mainly came in his classes. Les didn’t have any friends coming in, which he wasn’t completely against because it gave him more time on schoolwork. That was until January of that year when he met John Bryant. He hadn't thought of John in a long time. After all, John was--

All of a sudden Les was hit with his nightmare all over again. He could feel his head filling with colors and white noise. Les was sinking down further and further into his mind. The noise sounded like violin strings being broke apart and the static of a TV turned up all the way. The voices of an evil chorus were shouting in his ears. They chanted something he couldn’t understand. It felt like hell fire and brimstone had been lit inside of him. An unshakable fear had risen up inside then died away as he felt he was losing consciousness. His brain felt as if it was shaking and he was losing all control. The images wouldn’t go away. They kept right in frame and tormented him. Horrible, awful sights moved in and out. They were all too real, just as they had been last night. Saliva began to drool from his mouth as he had lost all control of his bodily functions. His arms hung down. His head was tilted at a disgusting angle. Les Murphy looked as if he was dead.

Just as he had last night, Les snapped out of it in an instant. He looked around with a whip of his neck and saw nothing was there. It was just him going insane in his office. He wiped the spit off of his chin and stood up. It was as if his legs were jelly and had absolutely no bones in them whatsoever. The clock read 12:50. One minute till showtime. With a sick feeling in his stomach, Mr. Murphy walked out of his office and waited for his class to arrive.

* * *

The beauty of music  never ceased to amaze Les. Through playing together, through everyone playing their own unique part, there was a connection between all of them you couldn’t really find anywhere else. Beauty and harmony were the two words that came to his mind when he thought about it. Nothing was more beautiful than hearing every instrument come together in sync with each other. He could feel the goosebumps running up his arms. Now that he was thinking of how much he loved music, it was hard to believe that just a minute ago he felt he was going to die.

* * *

Alicia Sullivan was the first student to walk through the doorway. It seemed that she always was. Her long blonde hair swayed to the side as she continued through the large classroom. Across her face was her bright smile and in her hand was a violin case. She walked past Mr. Murphy and said hello. Les said hello back and fought the urge to watch her walk away from behind.

All of the other students followed her and entered into Mr. Murphy’s 6th hour orchestra class. Bass players, cello players, viola players, and violin players all talked with each other as they unpacked their instruments and began to tune. Near the first violin section, all of them were gathered around Alicia, looking at something on her phone. Mr. Murphy did not know what it was.

Everyone sat in a sort of semicircle of three rows. On the far left sat the first violins, in which Alicia, of course, was the first chair. She was so talented that it felt like blasphemy to not have her there. Further right sat the second violins. Even further right sat the violas and on the far right was the cellos. Standing behind the cellos were the basses. Mr. Murphy’s kind of guys. Even though every section was unisex, there were only three boys who stood there. Alexander Wick (he would not allow you to abbreviate it to Alex, you had to say the whole thing,) Mason Peters, and Ricky Dean. Alexander was the first chair of this group, but in all honesty, all three of them could have taken the reigns at any given moment. Looking at them, Les suddenly felt the cold realization that, along with Alexander, Mason, and Ricky, he didn’t really know any of his students. He never connected with any of them. He knew they all loved him, but they didn’t know him and he didn’t know any of them. Well, except for Alicia Sullivan.

When Alicia would play a solo, Les Murphy’s mind would go blank. He became infatuated with every note she played and every move she made. The tone was so crisp and fluid it made Les wonder how a girl of seventeen could play like she belonged at Juilliard. He would keep conducting but his mind would wander towards the sound of Alicia’s violin and towards the warmth of Alicia herself. Often he had to stop himself. She was his student for God’s sake. Only seventeen years old. But her maturity in her body and confidence was not like any other student he’s ever had. Even when her hair was just sitting on her shoulders, it looked as if it glowed with a beautiful combination of brown and blonde. Her eyes were emerald green and her teeth were as white as bone. So when she smiled, it would captivate anyone who saw it. If there was a God, it was clear that he had done nothing short but bless her throughout her torso up to her chest. She had beautiful curves that didn’t seem to end. Then again, that might have just been puberty. She had long legs that seemed to go on forever. He had to stop himself time and time again from looking at her a*s when she walked by, but every now and then he would sneak a peek, hoping no other students saw him. From what he gathered, no one had. Not yet. He hoped no one would see this, because then it would be all too clear that he had gone a long time without having any intimacy with a female. The last time he tried Les almost died in front of her. He felt sick longing so much for Alicia, but he couldn’t help. There was just so much going for her.

* * *

Today was just a practice day. They went through Basses Loaded till Alexander, Mason, and Ricky felt like their fingertips would bleed. For the last fifteen minutes before it was time to pack up, they practiced the main theme from Steven Spielberg’s “Jurassic Park.” Everyone knew the movie and loved it, but to Les it was so much more. John Williams had affected his life so much that he wanted to give the same back to his students, so it only felt fair to teach them to play one of the greatest scores in a movie of all time.

The students packed up with five minutes left as school, which was how it went everyday. The violins and violas would be packed up with their bows into their cases and carried off by their musicians into the small hallway at the end of the music wing and locked them up in the small lockers specifically picked out by them. The cellos and basses were put back on their stands on either end of the room. During all of this, Mr. Murphy sat back and thought of Jurassic Park.

Just then, Alicia Sullivan was at his side, standing beside him as Mr. Murphy sat on the stool behind the podium.

“Hey Mr. M,” Alicia giggled a little bit. She seemed to be in a very good mood today.

“Hello Alicia,” Mr. Murphy said, “how are you today?”

“Just great.” Alicia had her million dollar smile on her face. It shone right through Les’s eyes and, somehow, it made him kind of sad.

“Would you want to see a picture I took of Joseph last night, Mr. Murphy?” she asked. Her eyebrows were raised and the look in her eyes was of total innocence. Mr. Murphy’s heart dropped a little, but he kept his composure and didn’t show any of what he was thinking to her.

“Of course, Alicia. I would love that.” Then it occurred to him as to what everyone was looking at, what everyone seemed to be swooning at on the far left of the room.

She took out her phone and pulled up a picture of baby Joseph. He was lying on his back in his crib. His little hands were curled up as if he were saying a prayer and the blonde hair that sat on his head was matted down. Joseph looked like he was at total peace, as if he would never experience such a deep sleep ever again.

“Wow Alicia,” Mr. Murphy said, “I’m impressed by how well you took this. He really is beautiful.”

All Alicia could do is wear her huge smile and nod in agreement. She turned the phone back in her direction and looked at it. Les didn’t think her smile could get any bigger, but somehow it did when she the way baby Joseph was lying down. He guessed she had looked at that picture countless times already, but he took a weird sort of comfort knowing it brought her joy every time she saw it. He had a feeling it was much the same at home.  

Joseph was Alicia’s baby brother. Her parents, Joshua and Rebecca Sullivan, had baby Joseph as a way to salvage their marriage, or so Les theorized. He couldn’t know for sure, but whenever an orchestra concert was over and all the students met with their parents and mingled, only one of Alicia’s parents would show up. Never together. It was usually her mom and she brought Joseph along. His eyes were blue instead of green but quite wonderful nonetheless. Almost immediately, Rebecca would hand off Joseph to her and walk outside to check or phone or take a smoke. Mr. Murphy had a feeling it was much the same at home.

* * *

The bell rung and Alicia said her goodbye for the day. Mr. Murphy said he couldn’t wait to see Joseph again as he was now a superstar. Alicia laughed and told Mr. Murphy he was so funny and then walked out of the room. Total solitude. Les was back in his open room by himself once more. When he was alone between classes, Les often thought about what had been going on during the day so far. Today, he didn’t really feel doing that.

But his mind kept wanting to go back to baby Joseph. Les had the picture Alicia showed him in his head along with the time he had seen Joseph at the orchestra concert. He sat back and smiled. Just like his sister, he was utterly beautiful. 

* * *

If Les had known then what he knew now, he would have started crying hysterically. At that time, it hadn’t started yet. At that time, baby Joseph was still at home.