Dare To Dream

Based upon a true story.... me... yesterday....

It was cold where she sat. Her fingers trembled as she held the pen's tip over the forlorn paper. A few stray tears that had marked their trail over her face darkened the blanket she had wrapped around herself. She was crying again, and she wondered if the pain inside would ever go away. It was a good sort of pain... the kind of pain she didn't mind having.

As long as I have you she thought, and wiping away another tear from her cheek, the pen touched the paper, and she began to write.


Hey you,

I'm sitting here writing you this letter, even though I know you will never get it, because I will never send it to you. Fact is that there are so many things I want to tell you but am afraid to, because I know what will happen. Well, I know what will probably happen, and with the odds against me, I can't risk it.

And so I sit here and write in my secret notebook, letting the tears mingle with the ink... because if I don't tell you at least indirectly I will slip and tell you in person. In fact, I almost slipped earlier today by emphasizing our just friends basis. And I can't let that happen. I can't lose what I've lost before.

Fact is, I love you. I know we say it to each other all the time, but I don't think you know how I mean it. I love you more than my own life. I would die for you... and I would live for you too. I would do anything you asked me to... no matter what it would mean.

I'm afraid to tell you exactly how much you mean to me, for fear you might take it the wrong way. I'm afraid to tell you, for fear that you will distance yourself from me.

I feel like you are my soul mate. I feel like I could spend the rest of my life with you. It would be my ultimate dream. But dreams don't come true... and I don't dare to dream. I sometimes wonder if you've dreamed of it... I dare you to dream my dreams.

But I can live without it too. It causes a pain I like feeling. Knowing I have a grip on the unreachable... I have grasped the unreachable... I have held it in my hands... but it is like loving a dream. You may love the dream, but the dream cannot love you back. But as long as I can love, I do not need to be loved back. I ache for you to love me like I love you, but I can live just knowing I can love you... what hurts is that you won't know.

Because it's a dream... and no one dares to dream...

there are so many things I wish to tell you. The things I appreciate about you. I only wish they would come as easily as they come to you. Maybe it is because you know you only mean those words as a friend could ever mean them, but when I say them, I dream of something more.

... and I don't dare to dream... I don't dare to tell you my dream... my secret dream...


The fact is that you are amazing, talented, caring, protective, funny, and dear Lord I can't look at you without going weak. I feel like our friendship is all give on your part and all take on my part. Because I can't find the words to tell you how much I appreciate you. And I can't find the words that would make you smile when you're having a bad day, because I'm afraid. I'm afraid to tell you what I really think when I think it; I'm afraid to say what I want to say to make you smile...

... because it's just a dream, and no one dares to dream.


I'd like to tell you how much I love your smile and how gorgeous your eyes really are. I'd like to tell you put George Clooney and Johnny Depp to shame.

But I can't. Because I'm afraid. Because it's a dream... and you aren't supposed to dare to dream.


I cry at night because I know someday you will find someone special and our friendship will fade. You may not want it to, but it will... it's unavoidable. And I cry because there is nothing I can do to stop it.

And I can't stop it because it's a dream I have... and I don't dare to dream it out.


I dream of telling you I love you. I dream of you saying you feel the same. I dream we live happy ever after and we both never get hurt again by other people... because we both have finally found each other.



... but I'm not supposed to dream... I'm not supposed to dare to dream... I'm not supposed to dare to tell you my dream... because then I may lose the grasp I have on my dream too.

And people don't dare to dream because they know that dreams don't come true... because just because you dare to act upon your dream, does not mean the object of your dream will return it.

Just because you love someone does not mean they love you in return. Loving somebody doesn't make them love you.


I want to dare to dream... but I don't know your dream...

and so I dare you. I dare you to dream.


She put the pen down with a sigh, and brushed away at a few drops on the paper. Sighing again, she closed the notebook. She pulled out several sheets of paper. Printed on it was the conversation she had recently had with him the night before. Folding the papers together, she wrote the date on the back, drew a heart, and crossed it out. Then she opened her notebook again.


P.S. I made a copy of our conversation. I hope you don't mind if I hold onto it. I know what you said was meant as a friend, but I hope you'll let me dream. You said you wanted to be sure you were thinking 100 %... but I know what your answer will be. As much as you may love me, I will never be the person you need. As much as I may want to be, you know you deserve better... just as I know it. I will put it here and close it. I'm holding onto it and I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm dreaming... I'm sorry I can't be a better friend... I'm sorry you will never dare to dream.


As the tears softly splashed on her blanket, the notebook, and the floor, in slow, small, silent distances, she put the conversation in the notebook and closed it. Her eyes closed and her lips trembled. She silently pleaded her prayer... a prayer she knew would never be answered.

This would be her last prayer, her final plea. Her dreams were sealed in a notebook he would never open, using words he would never read. She made her last final prayer for her dream, and then crept to her bed. She would never dare to dream.... he would never dare to dream.... her prayer would pass on through the air, never to be heard by human ears, never to be answered by the one Majestic Being who could hear it. A few stray tears splashed against her pillow as she finally fell into a restless sleep... hugging her pillow tightly as if it could force the images out of her mind... as if the dream would go away.

But the dream would remain. It would never leave her mind.

If only she could dare to dream. If only she could dare him to dream.



I dare you to dream...

Author's Note

This is something close to me because it's the first thing I've published on here that is something I've really truly felt and gone through, and I haven't edited it, so please don't be harsh.

Reviews

[r]

This so is so amazing...and has so much angst. I love it so much; it's so beautiful And pain. And i love it so much. I'm sorry for you; that this has to be close to your heart, something that has happened to you. (: Dare to dream, ALWAYS dare to dream. Don't be afraid to dare, don't be afraid to dream, okay? Because dreaming is amazing, but, when you dare others to dream and they accept...well that's just downright the flippin' best that can ever happen to you.

ANYWAY, I love this to death. I'm adding it to my favorites. I love the repetition of the "dare to dream" and stuff. Amazing; I LOVE it! (:

[The Godfather]

I liked it, it was heart felt, it was powerful, and it dared us to dream :-). At any rate, I'll leave criticism aside for now, but good job!

[Star Catcher]

"I would die for you... and I would live for you too." That sentence means a lot to me. Because when I think of people I care about, I would die for them all. I would also die for any random stranger. I'd die for my enemy. That's just who I am. But living for someone...that puts a whole different spin on things. That gives it a lot more meaning. Lovely writing. I hope he realizes that what he has is what he wants.

[poddar kushal]

if it is your first then you are a very good writer.(and, this may be the understatement of the year!)

[Wolfwind Words]

Nope, no harshness here. Rather a simple understanding of how love and fear sometimes both spill into a mug when they pour you a beer.
Such tears and anguish!
I will pray for that other to dare to dream! Some poeple never see whats right infront of their noses. I hope he looks down, and see's the perfection thats right in front of him.
Thanks for sharing, opening a window into your world.