Chapter one

Harry


When I was a boy my father used to tell me stories about how the world ended. He told me that the world has ended exactly three hundred and seventy Two times and that every life cycle the time difference became shorter than the last. He told me that oneday there won't be a wolrd left to end anymore and reality itself will no longer exist.
I remember asking him how that was possible. If tyhe wolrd ended had ended so many times how come we were still alive.

'That's because She keeps on bringing us back.' My fahter answered me, his tone sad and his face drawn.

'Why?' I asked curiosuly.

'To save someone.' My father told me.

I frownened. 'Who?'

My father never answered that qustion and I never asked him again.

Fourty years later I'm standing in the rain at a cemetary and asking myself that very same question I had asked my father all those years ago : "who was she trying to save?"

It feels...unreal. Twenty years ago I left home for a job as a professor at an arts college in another state, leaving behind my family and friends with a hopeful promising future ahead of me and now...twenty years later I'm divorced, alone, depressed and find myself standing in front of my baby sisters grave in the middle of a downpour.

Standing there I wasn't sure what to feel right then. Loss, pain, sorrow, despair...but all I came up with was blank. How can you feel something for a person who was more of a stranger to you than family?
They hadn't called me until the funeral was done and over with. They hadn't known that she had any living blood relatives but somehow someone managed to dig through her personal files and found our old family home number.

Since Russel lived there now with his wife and four kids, he was the first one to get the news. He called me afterwards, crying and sobbing on the phone so badly I could barely figure out what he was telling me. When he told me the news I didn't feel anything but surprise. Its been so long since I've last seen or heard off her and I barely thought about her for the past twenty years.
The last time I had seen her was while dad was in the hospital and living out his last moments. I remember seeing a young woman in a pale blue dress come up to the door of his hospital room, her violet eyes weary and red from crying. I remember my mother standing up quickly from his bedside and tell her firmly to leave. I remember how she begged my mother to let her stay witth him, just for a moment. My mother refused and tried to tthrow a fit like she always does when she's around. I remember my father asking all of us to leabe and let his daughter be with him. At that moment while I lead my mother away I saw how happy they both were seeing each other. I'd never seen him happier.
A little less than five minutes later dad died, he was still holding her hand when we came in. He had a smile on his face. He looked at peace.
After that time I never saw her again. None of us did. Not me, not Micol, not even Russel who knew her better than anyone else in the family.

'Eve...' I readout her name from the grave stone.

Russel told me how she died. Apparently she pushed someone out of the way of a speeding bus and saved his life but lost hers in the process. They don't know who the guy is and where he is right now. I didn't really care but I couldn't stop myself from wandering : "who was she trying to save?"

Author's Note

My brianchild

Reviews

[Black Gypsy]

This was pretty well written. You described a lot of things, but you could have been more descriptive in some places. You could have described the sister more, and you could have described his hair, and all in all, you really could've done better with the description.

You did have quite a few grammatical and spelling mistakes. Like at the beginning, you spelled the with a y in between the t and the h, and you mixed up the r and l in world right after that. Right after that, you mixed up the t and the h in father, and you spelled frowned like frownened. None of these mistakes seem intentional, but I don't think you went back and proof read, which makes you really seem unprofessional. There were a couple more places where you messed up, but I don't feel like going back and looking for them.

It might just be me, but it urked me how you spaced off some paragraphs and didn't put a space in between other paragraphs. I don't know because it might just be me acting a bit OCD, but I think you should space out all of them.

I did like, though, how you seemed to tell us a lot about his past and his sister's past without making it seem like you were telling us at all and in so little words.

All in all, this was a good start, but it could have been better.

[Alex93]

I am so sorry. I'll try and work on the proof reading. And since I don't own a computer, the writting app that I use doesn't have great fronts and so I thought spacing some of the paragraps would make it easier for people to read.

[Black Gypsy]

It's fine, hun, don't worry about it. It was great, even if there were a few mistakes.

[JR Darewood]

I love the opening and the specificity of the world ending exactly 372 times. This chapter does exactly what a first chapter does and opens up lots of fascinating questions to explore. I'll re-read it again later to try to come up with something constructively critical to say, but for now I just really enjoyed it!

[Auria]

The first chapter so far is quite interesting. I'd say that the first sentence really captured me. From then on every sentence still kept me captivated. However, you do have a grammar mistakes that need to be fixed. Having two many can really take away from the story. Other than that, this was pretty good. Nice write and well done.

~A

[Alex93]

I will work on the grammer and the spelling. I'll have to hire my mother as proof reader.