I am a Phoenix

If a phoenix can be reborn anew, so can we.

I am a warrior, not the casualty of your domain

My mistakes no longer represented as a living bane

And though we may have once seen with the same eyes

You have long since forgotten your blame for your lies

I am your fault, the truth of your disguise

My soul a reflection of your love's demise

And though we may share the same kin

My perseverance has removed your excuse's firing pin

I am the fight, the scars of our memoirs

My life continues outside your close-minded prison bars

And though you may have tried to lock my heart away

You failed to have my resolve decay

I am the pain, the reminder of what you have lost

You learned too late the line you shouldn't have crossed

And now you may fear the unknown you have created

For becoming obsessed with the ego you've cultivated

I am a phoenix, the defender of my soul

No longer the victim of your control

Author's Note

I have rewritten the beginning due to inconsistency with the ending as well as re-titled the poem. Hope you enjoy!

Reviews

[Viana T]

I feel your strength here.

I am especially moved by the last portion "I am the pain, the reminder of what you have lost
You learned too late the line you shouldn't have crossed
And fear the unknown you have created
Too obsessed by the ego you've cultivated

I am a phoenix, the defender of my soul
No longer the victim of your control"

The rhyming in the first stanza doesn't mimic the structure of the rest of your work. So it kind of messes with the flow a bit

[Lavi]

Good to know, I stopped halfway through before continuing today so I know what to work with. Thanks for enjoying :)

[Lavi]

Okay, I got it fixed up. The flow is much better now.

[Viana T]

This works, beautiful:)

[Lavi]

Thank you, I'm glad.

[Mavericks]

Are you by any chance Scorpio Sun or Scorpio Rising!?

[Lavi]

I'm a Capricorn actually but funnily enough I sometimes wonder if I was born the wrong month XD I don't know much about the sun and rising stuff but I'll look into it. Some of the Scorpio personality isn't like me at all though, just like some of Capricorn's traits don't represent me so I could be considered a hybrid for an accurate deduction but meh, who knows.
Thanks for your review and out of curiosity what's your sign?

[Mavericks]

It's okay. The Phoenix and the intensity led me think there must be some Scorpio energy in you. I am Scorpio Rising, Virgo Sun, and this poetry brought me here! XD. Boring mountain goats, Eh Capricorns is the stereotype of you guys. Meh..But, i think it's cool. Capricorn's rarely fly off the hook, quality i really admire being a Mars in Capricorn. Anyway, lovely poetry. Loved the intensity and passion! Keep up the good work. And, yeah, you can check your Rising Sign here. =)
https://astro-charts.com/tools/new/birthchart/

[Lavi]

Its funny to me how everyone thinks of Capricorn is a mountain goat... not that the totem animal isn't anything to resent but when I think of Capricorn I think of the myth behind it where its basically a goat with a tail that resides in the ocean - kind of like a water horse. Thanks for the compliments and the link!

[Mavericks]

You are funny. But, i know what you men.

[G.W. Saitreux]

Powerful message with an even more powerful delivery, wow! I loved this poem and the vivid imagery you continually use with your language. Keep up the great work!

[Lavi]

Thank you! Sometimes I think the strongest critic to my work is myself so its good to see/know others like and support it :)

[Jacob Clifford]

I love how the theme of the phoenix (rebirth) is tied into the message. All of our difficulties and struggles in life make us who we are, and when we overcome those obstacles, we are stronger than ever. The things that used to torment us no longer have power over us.

[Lavi]

Exactly. The phoenix is definitely my totem :) Thanks for reading!