Shadow-Play

"X"

The shadows in the corners of the room
whisper my name
they are the same shadows
by alley ways,
            behind tombstones
       underneath beds
inside my head

over the plains

the highest and whitest of clouds
cast darkest hues

the brightest of suns

i think of you

                         the whispers get louder
                         the curtains flutter
                         the air turns colder

somewhere a murmur

                         shhh

be still   be still  my dear

the rope hanging in the attic
                        the vague visions through the static
                                    the tremors of the addict

shhh
  be still
      my dear

                          love casts its pallor
                                blood on pale collar 
                                  i hear you call her
 

                   by candle lights
                        as rain drops
                               and winds howl
                                       and wood creaks


      
               icy razors lay on warm tubs
                            guillotines fly through the air                
                    birds fall from thick heights
               like notes of despair


don't shake your head
it will all end
soon
in the corner of the room
where the shadows call out your name
like the wind sweeps the rain


               pull out a smoke
                    drag over a chair
                          sit by the window
                            and stare


 there is the world    there is the world
   you are not a part of
                there is the world
            full of cruel love
        there the children laughing and playing
 like you never have
or ever could

   its' understood

                  the rain floods into gutters
                       the once crisp leaves drift
                          they sog and they shudder 
                          from spring-autumn skies
                                 down down sewage drains
                                     all truths mask in lies
                                          all love in pain      

shhh  shhh

 the shadows the shadows

   they whisper my name.

Reviews

[Rachael Lea]

creating shadows with your words
recreating the allure the shadows seductively call to you seemingly absurd
still creating images of longing,
things calling out to you as well, that are not in the shadows no sense of belonging.
yet the shadows win as they pull you in.
reminding you of emptiness, making you feel grim.
telling you to pull up that chair.
reminding you of all of your despair.
to do what exactly? To torture you? To bring to you an opaque light?
as you continue trying to decipher wrong from right?
who is to win do you know?
will you let the shadows continue to grow?
as you search for answers longing for something that's not there.
painfully crafting your fragile world with gentle and loving care.
the answer is up you on how to decide.
whether or not you choose to confide.
giving in to the enticing tone of voice
may or may not cause in you to rejoice
the answer is truly one that is up in the air
choose it however you will, do not live in despair.
If shadows are your foe
make the wise decision to make them go
though if shadows are where its at
well embrace it fully, like a diplomat
enjoy your life either way is what I must say
give it your all, live for today


Okay so I wasn't meaning to write like that but it just sort of came out. I guess its obvious that I like this as well. You really are talented. Very nicely written. Though I am left wanting to know more as you can very well tell. Very thought inducing and inspiring.

[Alessander]

Thanks Rachael. Man, I must've missed this review. You're prolly long gone now, but appreciate you're in depth thoughts.

[r]

HKHGKJFHKGFKBGMF DMGBFKDBGKDF GMDF MGB FKBGKFDMN M OMGOMGOMGOMG.

Sorry. I had to have my spaz moment or else I wouldn't be able to write a legible review. Hell, I probably won't write a legible review now. I don't even know what to SAY about this poem. Saying "I love it", I know, doesn't help you, but it's all I can think besides a jumbled mess of thoughts - hence the random spaz on my keyboard above.

I love the imagery in this. It really pulled me into it, and I was dragged into this world, these shadows lurking in the corners, from the first line. This is truly poetic. I love the format and how it is lowercase. I love the indents and the large spaces and everything about it. And the word choice! Absolutely stunning and beautiful. It made me feel lonely, and feel the shadows crawling at the edges of my mind, circling me, calling my name. The repetition every once in a while really brought this piece together, and the ending! Lord, the ending was PERFECT. It wrapped it up, left the air of mystery, and I fell in love even more with this poem.

"the shadows the shadows
they whisper my name."

I love the period you put to the end of it, ending the poem. It was the only period, unless I missed another on. I could, I don't pay much attention like that since I fail so much at life. But, either way, I love that. It brings it to a final end. The magic of this poem is the fact it is so SIMPLE. There are no large, complicated words - to me, anyway - and is easily understood. They weave an image, a picture, a feeling, a sound, it creates a world. I don't know how to explain it. It brings me into the poet's mind, I suppose, but I still don't think that's the right way to put it.

Well, this review is getting long. Why does that seem to happen a lot these past two days? Oh well, I don't mind, and I'm sure you don't mind long reviews? I hope I am not mistaken. I love this poem. It is beautiful and flawless in its structure and imagery and everything else about it. PERFECTLY done.(:

[Rosette Jewel]

I would tell you how wonderful this is, how beautiful and ugly the emotion is, and how much empathy it pulled out of me, but I seem to do that a lot. So I'm just not going to leave a real comment at all.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You present wonderful imagery here and I particularly enjoyed,

"the rope hanging in the attic
the vague visions through the static
the tremors of the addict",

the entirety is very poem noir, weilding a gravity of darkness and finality. Well done. F.

[theunionisloud]

If this poem were a painting, it'd be elegantly impressionistic. I followed the actual "story" a lot less because I think you let the emotion take over the actual words. Beautiful effect.

[JuanitaS]

You really put the reader in the moment. I can hear the whispers and the wind and the rain flooding into the gutters and the crisp sound of the leaves flicking along the street or crinkling through the air. See there, the reader's imagination can take off from what you've written. Aside from that, the emotion is relatable. What writerly person hasn't had these thoughts and feelings while dwelling in their private hell? Will read more of your stuff! (This is my first "review" so, I'm working on it. Don't know how this whole system works either so maybe now I can post some of my own? I'll figure it out. Peace!)

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Yeah dude. This is it. And how paint the pain, and the knowing, the sinking feeling of suicide, addiction, this is what the thoughts look like in the mind. Why do you have to live on the other side of the country? It would be rad to sit down with you and collab!

[account not in use]

I love the way you twist words to form gorgeous imagery and it's as if the words are actually dancing on the page with the way you formatted it with the line breaks.. I also adore the rhyme scheme since it adds a nice flow to the poem and none of it sounds forced at all.. a very creative and unique poem.. glad I added you as a friend and stumbled upon your writings.. I'm off to read more ^-^

[Sydney Evans]

How you wrote this is incredible (: I really enjoyed reading this. I gives you so many emotions too feel (:

[Beth Wilcox]

This is absoluetly stunning. I really adore your writing and you are one who inspires many. You are very, very talented with what you were givin; pencil and paper. I love this. Very much.

[floarealbastra10]

this is amazing