Shhhhh

Old poem, but just recorded me reading, so hopefully won't be spam.

I'll probably wake up sobbing again tomorrow
Don't mind my drunken confessions
I have the tolerance of a gnat
But the emotional girth of an elephant
Weighing my light body down
That's my tragedy I suppose
If I were to be dramatic
Though drama emits catharsis
Drama is meaning and beauty - creation
In short: not me
In other words
I'm love sick
Sick for it
Sick with it
Sick in its absence
Just straight fuckn sick
Don't mind my vulgarity
It is what one uses
When convention fails
Expletives are the outcasts in language
They wear leather and smoke all night
While the rest of the dictionary
Sleep, pay taxes, and attend PTA meetings
Profane words are death row inmates
Offering their final translucent confessions
Stripped of pomp or rhetoric
S**t. Mierde. Hijo de la puta madre.
There I go again
It's late and I'm on my third drink
And am becoming vaguely beautiful
In spite of the tarantula
Crawling inside me, through me
Its prickly legs sprawling
Its ugliness spreading
Until I feel like clawing
Clawing at my breast
To get it out
Get it out!
Anyhow, I'll let you sleep
Shhhhh....shhhhh....
it's fine, really
Come morning I will sob on my stoli-scented pillow
While others yawn and smack their alarm clocks...

Author's Note

I stole the title from one of I.R. poems, but it's apt, for various reasons.






Also, the song I have been told is mistakingly attributed to Perfect Circle but is actually Ashe.

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I don't know if this one was written under the influence, but it has that sound, and I don't mean that as a criticism. The spirits can cause us to ramble, and I get something of that here. Really good imagery, especially that concerning profanity. Do hope the morning after this one wasn't too painful. Good work.

[Alessander]

ah, good the spirits come across! That was what I was going for.
Vodka mornings are always the worst, which is why I just stick to whiskey now lol
Thx for reading.

[shel]

Nearly 3 months since you posted this. Oh, how I procrastinate.

Don't mind my vulgarity
It is what one uses
When convention fails
Expletives are the outcasts in language
They wear leather and smoke all night
While the rest of the dictionary
Sleep, pay taxes, and attend PTA meetings

When I first read this, I seriously wanted to kick your a*s for coming up with those lines. OK, maybe I still do, haha. The tarantula image was bit unsettling at first, that’s for sure, but very apt…as was the build up/plea to ‘get it out’… and then the retreat of ‘I’ll let you sleep…it’s fine, really’. You are a frighteningly insightful soul, lol. I can’t find a way to articulate the whole drama thing…but personally I think yes, it does emit catharsis…at the very least, a peeling back of layers, discovery, reinvention, creation.
And I think ‘fuckn’ is just fuckn fine, haha. I could go on, but you know...I tend to ramble. :)

[Martina]

I love this. It really reflects how a lot of people feel, and a lot can relate to it, but in a different way with the use of metaphors. You're so talented :)

[emmajoy]

Sadly cos of copyright restrictions I can't listen to the song, but will try later by another means then hold the music and lyrics in the back of m y mind whilst I read your poem again.

Seems that drink almost solidifies the thought process in this writing .. you go off into different places as the effects curl within your head .. expletives are but words and they are strange but usual bedfellows which do as well by day but .. by night are a different tool to use.

'Profane words are death row inmates
Offering their final translucent confessions
Ungilded by rhetoric or pomp' (' a rose is a rose is a rose .. maybe?'

I like the ramble of this writing because there's a meeting place at the end, it might be transient for now but it exists - as does your companion.

[Ed Hart]

drama doesn't emit catharsis; it just puts it off for another day...

[Drew]

I liked this a lot not sure why.

[zombiikillah666]

okay....first...i loooove a perfect circle. :D second..this vaguely reminds me of the time when i drank vodka....... which was an hour ago. :D okay, now it was 2.5 seconds ago.....well, we wont keep track of that...so anyhow, this is really good. it made me see the meaning of life. seriously. i love it. :D it makes me want to sing you a lullaby. (:

[Sarah]

Wowww this was such a unique piece. I loved the rambling sense of it because it reminded me sorta how, when you're drunk, your mind wanders and what you're saying doesn't really make sense to anyone but you, and yet it's how you really feel....yeah I'm not sure that made sense. xD Vivid images here especially the one about the tarantula which was really disgusting but served the purpose for the poem, lol. Great job with this!

[(no es) maria]

i'm not sure if my comment will be "constructive," but here goes (haha)

when i'm drunk and pissed off with sick thoughts, i say "FUCKN." not "f*****g" or "fucken." it comes out in an angry slur, which is why i liked that you wrote it the way i would think it/snarl it/whisper it aloud.

this has a sort of punk/bolero style to it- definitely something i can chew on next time i'm slamming cazadores and screaming with julio jaramillo, and the title is def something someone would be saying will it occurs. cheers.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

amazing write

[The Perfectionist]

Fuckn should really be either f****n', f*****g, or f**k'n. You've done that before

This was more than a little schizophrenic, but that's okay. It's rather eloquent for something supposedly spoken while drunk, but I'll let that slide for now. The profanity metaphor was unexpected, but both amusing and very visual. Actually that about sums up this entire poem. It's unexpected, somewhat confusing, but amusing and you paint very strong pictures.

You may want to rein it in a little, but no one will fault you for leaving it alone.