Mother

A Story by Alena

A mother needs to always do what is right for her children. But what if that affects the bonds with her own parents? A short story from the scene of a train station abou the power of decision-making.

“I must be strong for my mother,” told Evelyn to herself while waiting on the platform. “I must be strong for my mother,” she repeated looking to the ground.

Pursed lifeless lips, stiff, wrinkled forehead, hoary strands of hair, small streams playing freely in the air as the train stirs the wind. That was the only playful feature reflecting a piece of long-lost youth on a mother’s face. Her eyes were entangled in deep heavy blue, with grey spots closing in the circle of an iris. But no tear would fall out from these eyes. And nobody remembered anymore if they just held them in or if they were unable to create them. Not even Evelyn herself.

As she was standing there looking to the ground on a platform, gales of thoughts would whirl in hear head, one being the most persistent: “I must be strong for my mother.”

She looked at the information board, three trains were coming to her destination in different times. Three trains to land her a hand in her on-going mission. It was crucial that she steps on to one of them and Evelyn knew their numbers by heart: 400, 401 and 402. This wasn’t the first time she was taking them. She knew these numbers already, even before the call from this morning, before looking up their delays. She knew exactly what time, order, and platform they are leaving from. There was no need to keep glazing upon the information board. Yet she did. And as a proof of affirmation, she whispered once more the so critically valuable detail on the right side from the trains’ numbers: “Platform 18.” That’s the platform she was standing on right now. That’s the platform she would leave from. One last time.

That she thought, when in a striking shock, she stumbled as a familiar sound pulled her out from the trans. Her phone was ringing. It rang once, rang twice, only then Evelyn realised what was happening and quickly picked up.

“Everything alright Cecilia?” she asked with a great concern.

“Mom?” replied a young insecure voice with a sob in the end, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to make things worse.”

Evelyn straightened up, firmly clamped her phone, and stepped further from the noise of all the whistles and trains so she could better hear her daughter. “Shh, it’s okay. It will be okay,” she answered calmly. “What happened? Where are you?”

“Mom,” a sob could be heard again, “I wanted to go see grandma, right? I know there’s no much time left so I wanted to go with you, but” sob “…but I think I overslept the station or something, ‘cause I don’t know where I am. This never happens to me, I never do this…I don’t have wifi here, otherwise I wouldn’t call, but….I am so sorry…”

“Okay, okay…” said Evelyn quickly to interrupt an incoming wave of sobbing. Her pupils got wider, hand started trembling, but voice remained steady “where are you right now?” she asked as she saw the 400 leave from the platform. “We’ll figure this out together” she said. ‘There are other trains still coming…’

After a few minutes the voice from a phone finally replied, no longer sobbing, but still unsure:

“I think it’s called Bondtstad?”

Evelyn exhaled greatly in relief.

“Yes, that’s a stop,” she said, “I’ll find you another line and call you back.”

The phone shown half past eight when Evelyn hung up the call. Her fingers furiously fidgeted on the internet screen, “I must be strong for my daughter”, she rumbled “I must be strong for my daughter.”

‘Bondtstad doesn’t have such a big station’ tried her mind to reason with herself. ‘She won’t get lost, she will be okay. She’s not a little girl anymore, she’s almost an adult, she is capable!’ The affirmations helped for a while, allowed the surprised mother to calm a bit, to focus, yet no matter what she tried, one thought would always outmatch the others: ‘I must be strong for my daughter, I must be strong for my daughter.’

Finally, the page has loaded, and one could see the numbers clearly. There is one train leaving from Bondtstad to the hospital. It wouldn’t come on time but at least they would meet each other there.

Evelyn swiftly typed Cecilia’s name when suddenly her phone rang on its own and it was no other than her daughter. Calling again? What is happening?

The mother picked up. A calm sad voice was heard from the other side.

“Mom, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to stress you so much, especially today, it’s like a bad dream and it’s my fault, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t mention it right now,” said Evelyn firmly “let’s first get you to the right train. Then we will…”

“Oh, no that’s okay, that’s also why I am calling,” interrupted her Cecilia. Her tone was melancholic yet peaceful, but it was just now Evelyn recognized the familiar sound of leather seats squeaking as the wheels bump up and down on the railroad. Her blood froze for a moment. No, the train she looked up does not leave at this hour, nor any other to her home.

“Where are you?” asked she in a cold, piercing tone.

“I, I don’t want you to worry about me anymore,” replied Cecilia tripping over her words “so I walked around a bit and then the train to my place came…”

“No train is going to your place, I just checked!” said Evelyn. Her brows tilted down; she frowned in rage. “What train are you in, Cecilia?!”

“Uhm” the phone was quiet for a while except for a rustle of clothes, steps and sounds of a person twisting and turning to find something they are looking for. The moment felt like hours, Evelyn’s blood grew denser every minute, she watched the clock in hope of stopping the dumb flow of time for at least one hour, as she slowly ignored another train leaving her platform. There was only one left and Cecilia was stranded on some unknown wagon going who knows where.

After the chilling feeling passed (that took in reality just about 5 minutes) the daughter in a scared tone replied. “I found the information monitor. It’s going to Faithrom…” she stopped. Only her trembling voice could prove how unsuccessful the attempt to keep it in was. “I messed up again, mom? Mom, I am so sorry,” heavy cry “I don’t want to be alone anymore today, I don’t…”

The mother releases her strength, her body bends down and leans on to the slope, head falls to the one free hand that shuts the eyes from seeing and feeling. The air stood still as a suffocating fog; nothing moves only the soundwaves of a daughter’s cry. ‘There is a train to Faithrom from this station’ thought Evelyn. ‘There is a train to Faithrom from this station. Platform 9. In 10 minutes.’

Then the signal got lost, the call ended, and Evelyn released her arm with phone, hanging in the emptiness a short message in a text bubble appeared on the screen with only one word pulling Evelyn’s eyes, filling them with an even deeper ocean:

“the battery is dying �" C.”

‘I must be there for my daughter’ she thought. ‘I must be there for my mother…’

Evelyn stood up. And she stood there quietly. When she glazed upon the blinding golden digits of 402. When the light hit her deep dark pupils rousing them to water.

‘I must be strong…’

Almost an hour passed when the rasping voice from PA system could finally be heard saying: “welcome to station Faithrom!” and the mother was already out of the train running around with her eyes through the space.

‘What kind of daughter am I?’ she couldn’t stop saying to herself. ‘What kind daughter doesn’t come to say a last goodbye?!’ She starts searching through the station, pushing and shoving through the crowd. ‘What kind of child am I?! What kind of daughter am I?’ runs down the stairs ‘I let her down!’ turns to the left hall, ‘I could have taken better care of her! And now she goes away!’ a locomotive rumbles above the tunnel, ‘And she goes away without me!’ she turns to the right stairs ‘She goes away alone!’ her vision blurs ‘What kind of daughter am I?!’ starts to climb the stairs ‘What kind of daughter leaves her mothe…’

“MOM!” a bright, loud scream inhabits the whole platform. All other words scatter, and the world becomes an unrecognizable babble. Evelyn’s mind shatters, for a moment, only for a moment until it immediately rebuilds itself again.

“Mom!” Cecilia runs and the two reunite in a hug.

“Mom, I’m so sorry. I love you so much.” She tightens Evelyn in her arms as if she could escape and perish into a thin air somehow. “I love you so much.” repeats the child.

The mind comes completely silent.

Only heavy exhaling from exhaustion of the two fills in their closed-in world. And make the tiniest strands of hair flow in misbehaviour.

“I will be here for you mom,” says the daughter, “just like you are always here for me.”

Evelyn sighs. A small reflection sparkles inside her velvet, dull pupils, undereye circles flooded in blue and grey.

“I know you will” replies the mother calmly, “you would act the same as me.”