Chapter 11: Jack Waxes Poetic

The further adventurous of Jack. Jack gives advice about women.

C H A P T E R

 

11

 

Jack Waxes Poetic

 

 

    Jack liked to think that he was an expert on the ways of women. After all, his mother was one and he had even dated several of them. He knew women as well as he knew anyone and though he was told constantly that it was not true, he liked to think the women who told him so did it simply because they feared the knowledge he held. Thus it came as no surprise to him when Rob came over Sunday night to complain about his girlfriend. A twelve pack and half a bottle of Bacardi later they both found themselves in expansive moods.

    "...that's the nature of women, man," Jack said to the wall blearily as he tried to focus. He had never been good at holding his liquor. A tap on the shoulder got him oriented back on Rob. He wondered in annoyance how Rob had managed to get behind him. Damnit he was trying to make a point. "That's the nature of...of women. Once you get with them they change you and they change. Look at Amanda and how she changed." He reached out and grabbed Rob. "You stand strong! Don't let her win."

    "Are you sure man?" Rob said before taking a swig out of the Bacardi bottle. "I mean now that I'm drunk should I have got into an argument with Josephine about what color to paint the bedroom? I mean really, man. Blue is fine. At least it isn't pink!"

    Jack shook his head in pity at his friend. That's how it started. First you gave in to painting the bedroom and then she'd ignore you for American Idol. Who did she think she was anyway? She was no Josephine Baker to make such demands upon his friend. He had a mind to go over there and demand she change her first name. If he could remember how to get there he'd walk right over. It didn't matter that he'd probably not be able to make it to the front door of the apartment.

    "....should apologize man. I love that girl."

    Jack tried to gather his wits. Did he hear that correctly? "You love her?" He stared at Rob incredulously. "You've been dating six months man! Aren't there...aren't there rules for this. Like ten years then you see if you're in love?" He snatched the bottle from Rob's hands and took a drag.

    "I do man," Rob said as he pounded Jack on his back.

    "I'm drunk man!" Jack said gasping for air. "I can't drink that stuff straight. Don't let me snatch it from you!" He turned to grope for some tissue to wipe his mouth. "Just think this over, Rob. You know what the next step is after you say the 'L' word, right? Death man, death. Your life is over. Are you listening to me?" Jack turned back around to continue his lecture and found Rob slumped over on the couch and starting to snore.

    "What the hell, man!" Jack said with a scowl. "Fine. Sleep it off and we'll talk about it while we nurse hangovers on the way to work." He tried to stand up to stumble to bed, but the world tilted and he found himself on the floor.

    "I'll just...I'll just sleep here to keep an eye on you," he called out to the now loudly snoring Rob. With that Jack quickly drifted off to sleep, do his part to contribute by drooling in his sleep.

Author's Note

All reviews are welcome. One day I might make these longer, but I like them short and funny for now.

Reviews

[Nely Amorim]

Oh you're so gonna receive some interesting female opinions on your (and jack's) concept of love..lol be ready to duck. lol...