Practical Advice When Thinking of Dating On-line

Practical Advice When Thinking of Dating On-line

A Story by Albert Freeman
"

Writing an article about dating on-line can be a tricky thing as it has some stark differences between dating in the 'real world'. If you follow these practical and basic guidelines then you can make your experience fun and rewarding and come out smelling

"

 

Practical Advice When Thinking of Dating On-line

 

by Albert Freeman April 2, 2008

 

Writing an article about dating on-line can be a tricky thing as it has some stark differences between dating in the 'real world'. If you follow these practical and basic guidelines then you can make your experience fun and rewarding and come out smelling like roses.

 

 

    I've learned a few things in the nine years I've been on-line and met many people in the process. Having always been able to relate to people in my life I found it easy to get people to open up to me. In doing so I've found that no matter where people are in this world when it comes to those who are thinking of dating on-line the same mistakes tend to be made again and again.

    Now we all like to think of ourselves as rather smart and practical people, but there is still a sense of wonder and magic about meeting people all over while in the comforts of your own home. It makes you feel in charge and confident because if the going gets tough you could always click the 'x' button, hit the ignore button or simply log off and walk away or on to the next site.

    In the interest of fairness, I seen to have that keen ability of knowing a lot of women on-line and many of them have turned out not to be as stable as I initially thought of. This is by no means a blanket statement about women on-line as I've met many who are confident, strong and wonderful people to be around. That being said this is mostly an article for women to use as they navigate the mine fields known as on-line dating and the various dating sites.

    What I'm offering is not some magical elixir or something that will just trip a switch in the brain and make it all simple and easy to do. Instead what I am offering is practical advice many of my friends failed to heed or simply thought they did not need to follow. I'm offering ten easy rules that can help weed out the guys looking for everything you aren't looking for. By no means is this the only way to avoid these guys, but it is the practical things I've come up with after my years of being on-line and observing these things play out.

 

    Always ask questions: Don't         be afraid to ask questions. That's how you can really get a feel for         if he is genuinely into you or just out to have fun with you. Some         would consider this prying, but I disagree. If you're looking for an         actual relationship then the more you no the better you can actually         understand and decide if he is compatible for you.

 

          Don't be afraid to ask about family: I've found asking about his family can be very insightful as

          well. If he is open about his family, it means he is opening himself up to you. If he is not willing

          to do so or is not talkative about it, then it is usually a red flag sign. Those who are closed are

          usually after something quick and want to move on as quickly.

 

    Don't hesitate to set your         boundaries and stand firm: Draw your line in the sand and keep your         standards. If a man is genuinely interested in you he will accept         such boundaries and even find you more attractive for having such         standards and confidence to keep them. If you cave simply to keep a         guy interested he will continue to take and eventually see you as         something temporary until he moves on. Hold true to yourself.

     

    Small lies lead to bigger         lies: If you catch him in small lies they usually come about in the         process of building up to bigger lies. Unfortunately I've found this         one to be very true with a lot of military guys on-line. Mostly it         has taken place in Yahoo for me and tends to involve guys married or         in long term relationships. Beware of such lies and when found hold         firm or cut your ties.

     

    Watch and see if you're         introduced to friends and or family: This one goes in part with if         he talks about his friends and his family. If he introduces you to         his friends and family that are on-line that is a good sign that he         is either interested in you as a long term friend or possibly in a         romantic way. The problem arises when this does not happen and it is         due to either he isn't interested in you as more than a casual         friend or he possibly already has a wife or girl friend and you're         about to be the woman on the side. Be aware of this.

     

    If he is controlling or         clingy beware: This one has always puzzled me. Off-line, for the         most part, you wouldn't meet a guy and then immediately afterward         let him control your life or hog up your time, yet this continually         happens on-line. The guys who do this usually have an agenda and you         find out he's a control freak who's been married multiple times or         some other thing that would make a good movie on the Lifetime         channel. Keep control of yourself and your end of the relationship         and don't back down from your own standards and beliefs.

     

    If he always gets his way         and never compromises walk away: If this one happens, I've yet to         see a relationship survive or if it does it is never healthy. A good         relationship involves both people compromising and doing things the         other likes that you may not jump for joy to do. If you're the only         one giving then it is only a matter of time before he moves on.         Their has to be some element of a challenge or freshness of thought         or no relationship would survive. It's nice to do things that make         your significant other happy , but don't forget to do the things         that made you happy prior to finding him.

     

    If your instincts set of         alarm bells trust them: Have you ever done something against your         better judgment and kicked yourself later for not listening to         yourself? We all have and this one and it is a big one. Always trust         your instincts. They will rarely let you down. If you start getting         that bad vibe about a guy and what he is doing or saying listen to         it and ask some deep questions to follow.

     

    If you have to drop friends         and or family to be with him beware: Now I've been a friend dropped         to magically make a relationship whole so this one is a big one for         me. Seriously do you really want to get with someone so insecure         that you have to drop friends you've known for years or even your         flesh and blood? Besides it starts with that and steadily gets worse         and soon all you can do is dress in itchy wool and never leave the         house unless with a tracking bracelet.

     

    The devils in the details:         It's the little things that make a relationship strong, whether a         compliment unsolicited, a poem being given to you done from his         mind, or a romantic date for no reason at all. Just as off-line         dating, dating on-line is the same way. If he doesn't do these         things it's a sure sign that maybe he isn't as into you as you are         into him. Details can also trip him up if he lies or is trying to         play you. In the end paying attention to detail could make the         difference between a happy relationship, a dismal one, or your         ability to avoid a disaster waiting to happen.

 

 

    These are just ten helpful things I've come up with in my years. By no means will I ever reach Dr. Phil level, but I've found some joy in helping people avoid mistakes or avoid making the same mistakes again and again. I hope in reading this people can take some knowledge from it and hopefully have learned from all I have said. As more and more people get into finding potential mates and dates on-line people need to be aware of the pluses and minuses of it. Be mindful and be cautious and as always, everything in moderation.

© 2008 Albert Freeman


Author's Note

Albert Freeman
Reviews are welcome. Trying to branch out and hone my skills.

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Well! I was very interested in reading your article although the topic is completely unknown to me (Do people date online in Africa? I have never done it). Anyway, it is interesting to know about all those "guards" that people do have when dating online. Thank you for the generosity to prevent other people from falling prey to others!

Posted 16 Years Ago


lol. You know the formatting was fine when I posted it. Now I'll need to edit it.

Posted 16 Years Ago


Sound advice indeed...lol As one who has encountered some truly devious people online and other truly oblivious people who constantly set themselves up to be a victim online, i completely agree with your comments. Having said that, if honesty, commitment and morals can be found in someone and TIME taken to get to know a person, a relationship online can flourish just as well if not better than those offline. I beleive we are living proof of that darling... xxx Love you :D

Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on April 2, 2008

Author

Albert Freeman
Albert Freeman

raymond, MS



About
I'm one of 5 boys born to my mother and father. My dad served 23 years in the Army. I served 6 years in the Air Force and enjoyed traveling to Korea, Japan, and Maryland while in. My interests vary, b.. more..

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