Chapter 2-A Mad Man's Plan

I basically had two options. Ignore Jasper's situation and run away as fast as possible from him, or face my most dreadful fear, the reason I’ve been hiding and hunting every night to seek forgiveness and forgetfulness, the reason both my body and soul are scarred and always will be. Save myself or try to save another. A safe coward, or a martyr hero. I may be proud of my fighting skills, but it’s been a long time since I’ve felt proud of myself for who I am. And that moment, when I had the answer to the pleading person next to me’s question, was no different. So I neither ran nor I accepted to reveal what I knew. I simply stopped. I locked myself up in my own private shell, and planned to stay there until my problems were solved, my fears gone, and my little solitary life back. I looked at Jasper and told him what was in my mind. “I can’t.” 
“You can’t what?” I heard him say. But I was already walking down the stairs of that block, and walking out to the streets -not running- to jump into my bed and sleep until I decided it was okay to face a new day. I walked and walked. And eventually I started climbing up stairs. All the while my heart was beating fast, but in a slow sinking way at the same time, as if with every beat it made its way up to the surface. My ears were in a state of denial, only hearing my beating heart as external sound. And my blood felt cold, as the day, that was now turning cloudy and gray. And such was my state of shock, or mystery, or what ever was happening to me, that in all the while back to my safe house I didn’t notice the boy following my every step. And I didn’t notice him until there was only two steps to reach the top floor of the building. And once I did acknowledge him, I didn’t shout, or hit him as I would have liked to do, no, I simply held the door open for him to come in. I went to my bed, covered myself up with blankets, closed my eyes and went to sleep. Not bothered by the stranger next door, not bothered by my place being invaded, not bothered by anything at all. And all of this, without saying a single word.

It was the rumble of a thunder that woke me up hours later, late afternoon. The sun was completely overpowered by a storm, and the wind was howling wild and free like a snake sliding through the buildings’ tops. My mind was calmer, and though the weather outside may have said the opposite, I felt as if a tiny little ray of sunshine were showering some of its light on me. Fear wasn’t far gone, it was still playing games inside my chest, but I felt as if things were getting clearer. I found Jasper asleep on the couch in the living room. It felt strange and foreign to see someone else besides myself on there, or simply in the flat. I felt sad, for him, that the only person who could help him get his family back were me -as my father used to call me- just 'a frightened little bird’. He was wrong then -my father- before I never got scared, I was all power, fire and confidence, but life can change very fast, and when it did it took me by surprise, unprepared, not having given me a chance to rehearse my role for that precise moment in life, in history. So now I was indeed a little frightened bird, frightened by my past, my mistakes, and by the strength of my own fears.
I kicked his awkwardly hanging foot at the edge of the couch. He woke up and still sleepy looked at me. “Want to sleep all day, or would you rather have me tell you how to get those kids back?” I asked him. He sat up straight and exhaled with relief, happiness, hope, I don’t know. But he smiled. 
“When do we go?” He asked me then.
“You go. I won’t be coming with you. I’ll help you get there, and come out of there alive. But you can’t ask of me to go to that place.” He stared at me and somehow I knew he understood what was inside of me. He may have not known then what happened in my past, the things that I did, the reason I wouldn’t step a single foot in there, but he respected and understood I wasn’t a god, I was human and had my flaws. “In two days from now will be the best time for the rescue. To try get them out today would be a death plan.”
“And of what kind is this plan of yours?” He inquired. 
I smiled. “A mad man’s plan, of curse.”

Jasper seemed thrilled with the idea that I was going to help him out after all. He at least thanked me a dozen times before I even told him my plan. I had spread a map of the city on the floor. I still had to make some calculations, and adjust the plan a bit. Indeed it was a mad man’s plan, but it was also the only option. He stayed silent while I studied the map and traced invisible paths across it. 27th Street wasn’t much of a Street, and it certainly didn’t have any numbers on it. That was just the name the high ranked officials liked to call that place. The name came from the date the General came with his army and made the enemy’s troops withdraw. December 27th, my birthday, and the day the general gave a coup to change -as he exposed it- our weak former government. All that were lies, of curse. At the begging people welcomed the General with open arms. The hero, they said, that had saved them all from a much terrible war. But years past, and all started to realize there was much more to his plans. The curfews were irrational, the increasing patrols of guards unnecessary. Nobody yet understood why the country was still so poor. But all were too afraid to say anything against the regime, and afraid of another war. So all kept quiet, without questioning the General’s decisions. Just like me.

Jasper was still observing me and the map. I wondered if he feared me. He seemed to have put all his faith in me. I prayed to not let him down. “How did you found me anyways?” I asked him. Realizing he had been able to follow me twice I aded, “after the Purple Bullet, I mean.”
“Well, don’t take it the wrong way. You were most definitely not easy to track, most people wouldn’t be able to follow you.” He said.
“But you did. How?” I asked again.
“People can’t see you because people never look up. They always walk around looking at their feet, or their fat bellies, or their empty pockets. But I looked up, and I saw you. With the starry night as a background, jumping fast from roof to roof, sliding through sloping surfaces, climbing up and down holding to rain pipes. It looked like you were flying.” 

I looked away. For some reason I felt my cheeks blushing at his description of me. It sounded as if he were capable of seeing beauty in me. ‘It looked like you were flying’ he had said. It most certainly felt this way when I was up there at night. That was one of the few reasons I still went hunting, because it made me feel free. 

“You wouldn’t happen to have any food here?” He asked uncomfortably. As if being hungry was something to be ashamed of. “With all that had happened I hadn’t eaten anything in what feels like days.”
I showed him to the storage room. “Take whatever you want. I always keep more than necessary.” In case I had to hide. I remembered I had some canes still on the pockets of my coat, and went for them. Sweet peas it is, I decided looking at my options. “There’s running water if you you’re thirsty too.” 

We ate sitting at the couch as far away from each other as we could. It’s not that we despised each other, we were over the fightings. But it was awkward and strange for both of us, or at least for me, this whole situation. “Sorry about your ribs.” I said with a half full mouth. I was trying to joke, or maybe it was a weak attempt to socialize, or maybe, just maybe, to apologize. 
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” He said with a shy grin on his face. “As far as I’m concerned it was me who won the fight.”
“Sure. If that makes you feel better.”
“Where did you learn to fight like that anyway?”

My mood changed drastically as he asked me that, and by the way his smile fade, he knew he made a mistake by asking that. “Never mind.” He tried to fix with a weak smile. “Look, I know we are not even close to friends. So I understand we all have things we keep to ourselves. So from now on I’ll mind my own business.” He was kind. I couldn’t deny that. He was too good for this world, and I feared some day it would be his kindness that would get him killed.

“Nah.” I said. “That’s alright. It’s just that I don’t like talking about that. I try to bury the past, you know.” I tried to give it no more importance, and kept eating my cold meal. But his question was still thrumming in my head, hanging in the air. I wish I could just forget it all. My past, the fighting, the nightmares that hunted me in dreams, the screams, and the piercing sound of my own cries. I wish I could forget my own name sometimes. But there was no point in feeling sorry for myself. If I actually helped getting his sister back alive, maybe I would feel better with myself, as if I had payed my debt. There was hope. 

Night came again, and the storm outside made the sky even darker, except for the bursting white rays of lightening. The rain soaked the glass from the windows, flowing like a cascade. The flat got colder and colder per moments, and my blankets were in shortage. “It’d be better for you to sleep with me.” Jeez. What was wrong with me? “I mean in the same room as me. It is the warmest room. There’s an extra mattress under mine, so you can take that one.” He looked uncomfortable. Just as me I guessed. "Unless you like sleeping in the cold.” It was the truth. My room was the smaller, therefore the warmest. It was logical for him to sleep there. It’s not like he made me feel somehow safer. As if the company of a total stranger could suddenly make me feel more secure. No, I only said it because it was the right thing to do. I was not looking for friendship. Nor comfort. He also understood, that, he wouldn’t be able to sleep at the living room without freezing. So he nodded and accepted my offer. Soon I set up his make up bed, throwing a couple blankets on it. Tonight was raining, nobody would go outside, so it was okay if I went to sleep early, even if it was only nine o’clock. “Your bed is set.” I told Jasper. “I’ll go sleep now.” He started muttering what seemed a good night, but I was already turing around to my room. No friends. I told myself. A penitence wasn’t supposed to involve friends.

I dreamed about fire that night. I dreamed that I was breathing hot ashes and my naked feet were melting with the burning floor. My vision was blurred by my own tears. ‘Where are they?’ I screamed in my insides. 'Where is he!’ The smoke was growing black and thick, and there was nothing I could do to make it stop. 
I woke up.

I didn’t even bother opening my eyes. Almost every night I was awaken by the same nightmare, the same images. I breathed, and took comfort in the cool air entering my lungs. I was alright, I was safe. At least as safe as one can be now a days. But things were slightly different that night. My life was starting to change. I could almost hear the ticking sound of this big machine that seems to control destiny, the future, and life itself. I felt the change making way through the pores on my skin. I sensed it, I breathed it in the air. So that night - as so many other things - was different. Not only did I took comfort in the cold air, but I also took comfort in knowing I wasn’t completely alone. I knew Jasper was awake. I must have awaken him. His breathing was irregular, as if he were trying to make it sound calm and slow, pretending to sleep. It was four thirty in the morning, and I knew it would be impossible for me to fall asleep again. Plus, there were too many things wandering in my mind. I stood up and went to the living room where the city map lay lazily on the floor. I sat down resting my back on the couch. My plan was tricky, too much maybe. But Jasper was willing to risk anything in order to save those kids, that I could tell. Funny - I thought - I didn’t even know the names of the children I was jeopardizing my life and safety for. I am an only child. So I guess I do not know what it is like to have siblings, but believe me when I say that I’ve had a friendship that came very close to that.

27th 16 was a military base, and residence of the General. Its official name being the Bordering Military Base (B.M.B.). Flanked by the Elaine Lake, and the Eastern Mountains, on the outsides of the city’s Southern District. It was almost impossible to sneak in there undetected, but then again, it wasn’t impossible. All I needed to get Jasper in there unnoticed was a distraction. All Thursdays the General with his most trusted - and skilled- personal guards headed south to the capital till the next Sunday. We still had two days to go. What I hadn’t mentioned to Jasper - one of the many things - is that we were going to need somebody else’s help. And that’s the one part of the plan that made me the most edgy. I was going to need help from the Drebbel twins. The thing that made me nervous about that wasn't only the fact that seeing them meant reconnecting with my so dreadful past. They were charming, funny -yes- but also unpredictable, hyperactive, and had a strong tendency to make everything make kind of boom. But that was also why I needed them. I wanted an explosion, a big, lousy explosion. To be seen by everyone at the base. So that Jasper may camouflage in the confusion and the crowd. Once inside it was up to him to follow my instructions to get out of there with the kids alive. I took a deep breath. I really hoped he got out of there alive. It’s not that I had grown attached to him. Let’s be honest, you can’t get attached to someone you’ve just known for a day. But I wished that for once the good ones could win. So many lives where lost in the war, and once it was won so many more that no body wants talks about. 'The General, the Hero!’ People said. How stupid and naive of us to believe in that man. To believe that someone that takes control of a country through gun power and destruction could ever mean something good. How naive. How stupid. And how shameful. So I really wished, and prayed with my whole heart to the gods I did no longer believe in, that the plan went alright. For Jasper’s sake. For humanity’s sake. 

It rained all night through. And when dawn came it was still dark. I wasn’t sure how I would find the Drebbel twins, but I had the feeling I would find them, or at least hear about them at the Purple Bullet. I stood up and went for my jacket and boots. 

Freezing rain was pouring down on me, and as much as I tried not to get too wet, it was kind of impossible to do so up on the city’s roofs. It may sound stupid to use the roofs in a rain storm, but it was actually more fun. More challenging. When I reached the Purple Bullet I hurried inside silently. Even though only a few remnant sleeping drunks remained I wanted to be cautious. The bar man, a thirty something year old red hair, kept weeping the floor without having noticed my presence. When from behind I heard an old voice say to me ‘looking for more trouble?.’ I turned around. Bill was the speakeasy's owner. ‘Do you need some?’ I responded. He approached me with a serious face. When he was just a few centimeters away from me he broke into laughter and gave me a big hug. ‘It’s nice to see you kiddo’. I’ve always liked Bill. Even though he had a rat nest as business he could be considered a good man. I met him when I found myself completely helpless and broken. He took me under his wing for a couple month until I recovered. I haven’t seen him since then. ‘You too’ I responded. 

‘So, what do you need to know?’. Bill asked. It was no secret that Bill was the ears to everything that happened around Border City. And if anyone might have known something about the twins that would have been him.

‘I’m looking for someone.’ I told him. ‘They're called the Drebbel twins’. 

His face grew slightly serious. ‘Oh, I see. And why would you happen to be looking for them?’

‘I can’t tell. But I mean them no harm. I only need a favor.’ I could tell Bill was trying to protect them. Even though he had me under his roof for nearly two month, he feared me. ‘I promise you.’ I reassured him.

‘I’ll contact them.’ He said, and I exhaled with relief. ‘But,’ he added ‘I can’t promise anything. Come at midday. If they do agree to meet you, they’ll be here.’

‘I understand.’ I said. ‘Thank you Bill.’

‘I’ve been worried about you, you know.’ He looked at me as if he were looking at a wounded animal. Sorry for the wounds, but scared of the claws. That broke my heart, and it also infuriated me.

‘You don’t have to. I’m alright.’ I told him dryly.

He nodded, and I turned away.

As I climbed up the stairs to the flat I checked how the knife I took from one of the sleeping drunks felt in my hands. It was a cheap blade. But since I had nothing else, this would have to do. I didn’t feel too bad about stealing it. It probably had been stolen several times. And I need it more than he did. 

My clothes were clinging to my skin, and I was starting to shake from the cold. I took off my shoes and threw my jacket in the sink. I went to my room and Jasper was still sleeping there in the makeshift bed. I didn’t have many clothes. It’s not like you can go shopping between breaking an assaulter’s arm, and kicking a mugger’s a*s. So I just had a couple shirts and trousers. I dropped the wet jumper on the floor, and took off the socks too. 

‘I should probably leave you some room.’ I turned around and saw Jasper awake. 

‘What?’ I asked not sure what he meant.

‘To change, I mean. Give you privacy and all.’ 

‘No. That’s okay.’ I said. ‘I’ll change in the bathroom.’ 

He was blushing, he was so funny. Such a gentlemen. I held my laughter.

----------

I was eating some nuts when Jasper passing through the room asked ‘I need to know how do you know where my sister is.’ He approached the couch where I was sitting and sat beside me. ‘I know I promised  to mind my own business. But I need to know if they are alright, if she’s alright. My stomach twists with the mere thought of what those soldiers may be doing to her.’ 

I guess it was time to open up at least a bit. I had known from a begging that sooner or later I’d have to share part of my story with him. I dreaded it. To explain to him, even if it’s just a stranger, where I come from, or who I am. I’ve tried so hard for the past year to forget it all. To forge a new me. A new identity. A new memory. And now I knew I would have to tell him, why his sister, or all the other kids I knew must be there too, had been taken.

‘Alright.’ I said. 

‘Thank you.’ He whispered. 

‘They’re at the Bordering Military Base. Or at least that’s what I assume. Maybe it turns out to be that I’ve been wrong this whole time. But if you trust me…'

'I do.’ Jasper answer without haven’t given it a second thought. His faith in me gave me goose bumps.

‘It is not of public knowledge that besides all the regular buildings and facilities they there, there’s also an academy. Not just a regular military academy, but a special one. Very few know about it. Last time there were thirty pupils. They entered between the ages of five and seven. Orphaned children of military parents. They were trained to be stealth, fast, agile, invisible. And strong, ruthless, skilled, lethal. And they were. They were taught it was in their blood to be merciless, to kill, and inflict pain. They were only kids. When they reached puberty they where no mere teens. They were the best and most dangerous soldiers of the General. If I were to guess, I’d say that’s why they took your sister. They need new recruits. How old are they?’ 

‘Peggy’s twelve. Jack and Thomas fifteen and ten. Why?’

‘If they’re taking older kids must be because they need new recruits fast.’

‘For what?’ His face full of worry.

‘I don’t know. I’ve never really known.’

‘And what about the last thirty?’ He asked me.

‘They’re dead.’ I forced the words to come out of my mouth without a pinch of emotion.

‘All of them?’ He looked at me as if trying the see the answer in my eyes. 

‘Yes. All of them. Every single one of them. Killed. Murdered. Burned alive to death.’ I started to cry. Silently. Small tear drops falling down my eyes. Full of sadness and mourning. 

‘How.’ Jasper started to ask scared of his own question. ‘How do you know?’.

'I know, because I died that night too. All I was, all I thought I was died that night in that fire. The fire that has been hunting me in my dreams. I know what happened because I have the reminder marked on my skin.' I pulled up my shirt. 'This ugly and thick scar on the left side of my body is a reminder of how I failed to protect them. My own brothers and sisters. And Kyle. I can still hear their screams echoing in the night. When the day’s too quiet, I hear them scream for help. And there’s never anything I can do.' And the sobs began. I started crying as I haven’t cried in a very long time. I cried because I failed. I failed to safe them, I failed to protect them. And when there was no hope, I failed to die. I was a failure. A fraud. 

It is hard for me to explain or understand what was happening inside of me. I had shown Jasper a little, and yet very important part of me. And in doing so I felt as if something in me had changed. Or maybe it simply came back to life. I cried. And I kept crying. Eventually Jasper would embrace me. But I kept crying and didn’t stop until every bit of sadness was out of me. Not only did I seek to feel less heavier by my tears. But I also needed to clear my eyes for the mission that was ahead of me. In that moment -crying like the little girl I had never been allowed to be- I realized I had to do this. I had to save Peggy, Jack, and Thomas. I had to save every kid I could find in that hellish base. It wasn’t only my only way to redeem myself, but it was also my duty. And even though my heart screamed, and my guts twisted and shrank in protest, I was going to do it. Even if I died. Even if they took me. Jasper had’t cross my path with no reason. He was here because he needed me. But he was also here because I needed him. I needed to help him. I needed to save those kids from the destiny nobody saved me from.

‘Thank you.’ I whispered when the downpour finished. And he smiled in understandment, releasing me from his arms.

‘But,’ I said growing serious but with a secret smile ‘if you ever tell a single soul you saw me cry, I’ll cut you to pieces and feed you to the vultures. Understood?’

He seemed to be thinking about it for a moment before cracking into laughing. ‘No, you won’t.’

‘Oh yes, I will.’ I assured him.

‘No. You won’t. Because now we are friends. And no matter how much you deny it, I know it’s true. Lets face it. We only have each other right now. So we better be friends. If you want, you can frown all day long Rowan. Or you can curse me, or try to start a fight. But we are from now on, and until our paths part, friends.’

Reviews

[Shea McWilliams]

"Save myself or try save another." Forgot "to" in between try and save

"Went to my bed, covered myself up with blankets, closed my eyes and went to sleep, not bothered by the stranger next door, not bothered by my place being invaded, not bothered by anything at all." You should start this sentence with "I" I think and also, you could break this into two separate sentences so it doesn't drag on.

'a little frightened bird’ This isn't actually wrong at all, I personally think it would sound better if you put frightened before little.

I don't know if it's just my computer but some of the paragraphs seem to be in a smaller font than the others. Also, i'm sorry if my comment sounds rude at all. I really feel like an awful person when reviewing or editing other people's work. You're writing is really good though. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Lots of love,
-Shea

[Nirmala Alba]

Not at all. Your review is just what I need and I really really appreciate it. You see, I'm from Spain, and my friends and family here speak very little english or not at all. So I really do need someone to tell me what they think about my story. So thank you thank you so much!!

[Nirmala Alba]

This chapter is finished. I will post chapter number three, called Double Hope, as soon as possible :)

[Thomas Edward 'Timothy'..]

Your English is good, the stories interesting and fun to read. If I'd give one suggestion it'd be to break it up into smaller paragraphs so that it isn't a page of dense writing. Besides that keep going.

[Nirmala Alba]

Thank you so much for your advise. I do really appreciate it. I've also noticed this mistake I'm doing with the paragraphs and all. I'll try to do better from now on. :)

[Thomas Edward 'Timothy' Smith]

no worries keep writing =D