Soldier

I awake

To ten thousand gunshots.

Invisible demons

In the sky.

An earthquake,

My stomach makes knots,

Loss of all feeling.

I don’t know why.

I hear voices

In the night.

Of what are they speaking?

I know not.

These choices,

Are not our rights.

The thing we’re only seeking,

Just a thought.

I fall to the ground,

Once,

Twice,

Three times.

Why can't I stand?

I’m bound

I’m ice

Punished for my crimes.

Banned to a dreamland

Of my own creation.

My own nation.

I fall a fourth time,

The last time.

Nowhere left to climb.

I’m lost

In my own mind.

Where it’s always summertime

The line I’ve crossed,

Has left me blind.

Nowhere left to climb.

I don’t resist,

I give in.

I no longer exist,

I give my skin.

But I forget,

I’ve sinned.

The wind blows,

I can’t go.

If hell is where I belong,

Hell is where I’ll be.

I’m no longer strong,

I’m free.

Reviews

[MrUnknown]

This is great! It shows the physical and mental conflicts a soldier must go through when fighting. Seemed like at he end he/she accepted their fate and was happy to be free of their pain, even if it meant going to hell.

[Cœur]

Thank you ^^

[winter;lyra]

Aye at first I thought this was straight about war but the more I read i understood this is somewhat an internal conflic (or perhgaps both?) that presents itself with a very livid battlefield imagery - I like this
good job~

[Cœur]

Actually, until about halfway I was basing it strictly on war and the death of a literal soldier. But then I started noticing that it could have been taken both ways, so you were 100% right with saying it was both literal and a metaphor.

[winter;lyra]

"Why can't I stand?" I believe this question triggered the internal conflict, he asks himself why won't he stand? -and now I'm thinking, before this his observations were moslty external - having fallen he reaches for the answer but it comes with it the realization of his condition - and he understands it in a way that leads him to embrace death: "I’ve sinned." - perhaps, when he fell, the inability to keep fighting allowed him to abstract himself from the bloody enviroment and allowed him to reach somewhat enlightment? Interesting

[winter;lyra]

"I fall a fourth time,
The last time.
Nowhere left to climb.
I’m lost
In my own mind."
I believe this signalizes his complete abstraction

[winter;lyra]

He realizes at this point the answer he sought got in too deep into his mind, so much that he got lost

jfc sorry for the spam i like playing poetry detective

[Cœur]

If I may say, you have a brilliant eye. That's a true talent when it comes to things like this.

[Cœur]

And no worries, I love reviews like these XD

[Taz]

Wow, this is amazing. Correct me if I am wrong but the end seems to signify death?
It is so amazing, I love the structure and the message is so powerful. Awsome Job!

[Cœur]

Thank you so much, and yes, technically you are correct about the ending. I appreciate your review ^^

[Taz]

Hey any time, I really liked it, you've got talent.

[Cœur]

That means a lot to hear XD

[Taz]

It's just the truth my friend.