I Can't Sleep At Night

This story tells us about owls and how wonderful,helping they are.. owls are not that bad ..that some people see or say.. Just change your thoughts about them:)

Once upon a time, in an old village, there lived a boy named Tahaan. 

Everyday at seven, his mother and father went out to work in the fields and he went with his friends to play near the forest. 

Though the elders had warned them of the leopard that lived in the forest,
they still went out to play hide and seek.

 But today was different. Tahaan went out a little too far into the forest to hide. It did not take him long to realize that he was lost.

Being a boy of not more than ten years of age, he started to cry. He called out his friend’s name in between his sobs, but they never replied.

He cried for his mother, but she was not around. Not knowing what to do, he rambled around the place.

Time ticked away, and he was all alone.

He was still crying. He was hungry and his tiny feet were aching. But he did not stop. He walked on. Soon it started to grow dark. 

The sun was setting and stars started to peep from around the horizon.

      Tahaan couldn't walk any more. He sat under a tree. He wiped his tears. And suddenly, he heard a voice.

     “Oh, dear boy, why are you crying?” said the voice.

Tahaan was too scared to reply, he looked around and pulled himself tighter.

“Don’t be afraid, its me, up here” said the voice. He looked up and up upon the lonely branch sat an owl with reddish brown feathers and big, dull eyes. And at once, Tahaan remembered what his mother had said: owls were evil, harbingers of death.


“Tell me son, why are you crying?”

Though shivering, he tried to reply.

“I am all alone… I lost my way…I forgot my path…”

“Calm down, my boy” said the owl.

“Please sir, could you help me out? Could you help me get back home again?”

 The owl thought for a minute or two.

“Why should help you, you human boy? After all, you hate us all”

“I know a lot of us hate you much, but trust me sir, I am not one of them.”

"Alright then, since you say so, I believe you. I will help you"


      The owl flew gently and sat upon his shoulder. He turned his head to look around. “Go left” he said. After a few paces, he noticed that the boy was uncomfortable.

“Owl sir, I am terrified. It is such a dark night and there is a leopard living near!”

“Haha! You poor little boy! Don’t be scared. I will call all my owl
friends too, and we will sing a song to distract the leopard. You just
keep your voice low.”

   And the owl called out for his friends. They all came, flying around.  They sat on the darkened branches high, and whispered a tune and broke into a song. 



‘The giggle goes right!
The giggle goes left!
Makes us feel high...
Don't let your courage fail ya
Pretend you're in Australia
Kangaroo is falling asleep
A big leap into the deep..

So lets start dancing
 like a parrot in the zoo..

The giggle goes right!
The giggle goes left!
Makes us feel high...

This is a dark place..
Its like scary
But if we both are together
It becomes tiptop..
So don't worry’


And at the sound of the silly song, the little boy chuckled and chuckled along.

“What a funny boy you are! What is your name, may I ask?” asked the owl.

“My name is Tahaan, it means I am a merciful boy"

“That is indeed a wonderful name.” said the owl.

    An hour and a half later, they reached near the village, glimmering in the light of lanterns held high. The people were all scattered and restless, they had been looking for the boy who was lost in the woods.

People gathered near his home, where his mother was crying at the door.

    Tahaan rushed towards his home, the owl too happy to fly away.

“Tahaan! He is here! I found him!” It was Tahaan’s friend from that morning.

    They all ran towards him now, the elders, men and women.

They were taken a back at the sight of the owl, which was still perched upon the boy.

 Some men gather at the back of him, and before Tahaan could say a word, they caught the owl and took him away.

“No! Leave him alone! He saved me!” The boy tried to rebel, but he knew too well it was no use.

   Tahaan’s mother rushed him home, not minding his wails and screams. She told him again, owls were evil, all they did was bring death. They fed him hence and put him to bed. He was crying still for his owl friend.

 And at midnight, he awoke and sung the song of the owl, assuring to himself that those humans would pay for killing the owl. He stood near
the window and looked out into the forest. He heard the song of the owls, still singing for their human friend.

Akshat  &  ScarlettTheDreamer
July 2011

Author's Note

This story is written by "ScarlettTheDreamer"
combined with me..
Please review it and rate it too:)
i really appreciate your valuable time..enjoy this piece..
i hope you all will like it:)

Reviews

[SoLongAndThanksForAllTh..]

I think you've really picked up on how to write in a style suited to children. On the whole you've kept the language plain which makes it accessible without becoming too simplistic and the length and content seems well considered.

Reading this seems somewhat reminiscent of hearing an unfamiliar tale from another culture being told. I think children will appreciate this as it will appeal to their natural curiosity and need to explore.

One technical point I noticed was that the tense slipped several times. A good example of this is, "He walks on. Soon it started getting dark". Perhaps this is a result of writing alongside someone else? If you decide to fix this then I'd suggest you stick to the past tense that it is predominantly used as to me that best suits the story telling genre.

On the whole a very good effort and a pleasure to read something from a completely different genre!

[Diane Lockard]

This would work well as a picture book with illustrations, and they could enjoy the giggle song, see the boy and the owl, but the end would have to be handled delicately... I was always told that owls are wise, and full of knowledge - a different concept.

[Akshat♥]

Thank you dear..try to see my other pieces:)

[Akanksha]

Sweet story... Although it had a sad ending... I liked the song which the owl sang... completely silly... but still funny... It looked like old story tale or something... I really wished it had a more defenite and elaborate ending... :)

[Akshat♥]

lol..thank you dear :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

Soon it started growing dark. (Soon it starts to grow dark) you changed verb tense to past, need it back in present.. the same here:
The sun was setting and stars started peeping from around the horizon. (The sun is setting and the stars start to peep from around the horizon)

said the voice. (says the voice)

He looked up. And up upon the lonely branch sat an owl. With reddish brown feathers and big, dull eyes. And at once, Tahaan remembered what his mother had said: owls were evil, harbingers of death. (He looks up and upon a lonely branch sits an owl with reddish brown feathers and big, dull eyes. And at once, Tahaan remembers what his mother said: owls are evil, harbingers of death)

“I am all alone… I lost my way…I forgot my path… I am all alone..”(leave off the second "I am all alone" it is redundant and unnecessary)

said the owl. (says the owl.)

The owl then thought for a minute or two. (The owl thinks for a minute or two)

The bird flew gently and sat on his shoulders. He turned his head to look around. “Go left” he said. After a few paces, he noticed that the boy was uncomfortable. (The bird flies gently and sits upon his shoulder. He turns his head to look around. "Go left," he says. After a few paces, he notices that the boy is uncomfortable.)

And then the owl, he called out his friends. They all came, flying around. They sat on the darkened branches high, and whispered a tune and broke into a song. (And the owl calls out for his friends. They all come, flying around. They sit on the darkened branches high, whisper a tune and break into a song.)

Their owl song went something like this: (completely get rid of this.. it is unnecessary)

the little boy chuckled and chuckled along. (the little boy chuckles and chuckles along)

asked the owl. (asks the owl.)

said the owl. (says the owl.)

The people were all scattered and restless, they were looking for the boy, who was lost in the woods. (The people are all scattered and restless. They have been looking for the boy who is lost in the woods.)

People gathered near his home, his mother was crying at the door. (People gather near his home where his mother is crying at the door.)

It was Tahaan’s friend from that morning. (it is Tahaan's friend from that morning.)

They all run towards him now, the elders, men and women and all. (leave off "and all" at the end.. redundant)

You need to decide if the owl stays or goes.. you have it both ways.

which was still perched upon the boy. (which is still perched upon the boy)

before Tahaan could say a word (before Tahaan can say a word)

The boy tried to rebel, but he knew too well it was no use. (The boy tries to rebel, but he knows too well it is no use.)

Tahaan’s mother rushed him home (Tahaan's mother rushes him home)

This is a lovely children's story and I enjoyed it very much. As you can see from above, I have corrected your verb tense to present tense. I think it makes the story more urgent. Well done.

[Akshat♥]

You have given your heart and soul into this..i can see that :)
Thank you very much dear :) no more words to express :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

you are welcome hun

[Akshat♥]

You are so sweet dear :)

[beautiful life]

Tahaan a different name..story seems sad...i like owl's by the way...
i also enjoyed your poem in this :)

[Akshat♥]

Thank you dear :)

[smilempsn]

aahh.. That was nice to read.... I really liked the concept and specially the giggle giggle song.. :)
keep writing..

[Akshat♥]

Thank you :)

[smilempsn]

welcome :)

[Anuvart]

Lovely short story :)

[Hitman]

This short story really touches my heart..
Well Done!!

[sudeshna]

sweet song and sweet short story... Liked it

[Nautili]

This is a nice story for children. It has a moral, like an Aesop's Fable, not to judge and use stereotypes, because it could be the farthest from the truth. I liked the irony that the owl was a harbinger for his own death, and that mercy was not shown to the owl in the end, regardless of the mercy he showed to the boy. It madethe meaning of his name stand out in contrast to the superstitious villagers.
" Tahaan’s mother rushed him home, not minding his wails and screams. He tells him again, owls are evil, all they do is bring death." Should it not be "She tells him?"

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-G..]

This piece was heart breaking, and I've always loved owls and can't fathom why so many people would think they were so evil - this story indeed proves them wrong! I wish that the boy had been able to help his friend owl but as he said... the people will get what they deserve for killing an innocent owl. All that kill innocence (in any manner) will get what is coming for them.