Give Yourself A Chance

by giving yourself a chance,maybe lead to happiness... try it :)

If you show me yours

I will show you mine..

Everything is gonna be fine

la laa la la laa

ye ye heh heh hehh

You make me worried

you make me sad

If you don't say it

I will go mad

la laa la la laa

ye ye heh heh hehh

See if you can

Watch your step 

and forget the plan

You seem busy..

don't know why

Can't stop my heart from beating so fast

It feels like killing me from the rest

all apart

la laa la la laa

ye ye heh heh hehh

Cute and Funny things are going all around

Makes me happy and I will fly all round

See I like you

and I think you too

So why to wait

why to stop

give yourself a chance

You never know what will happen

Next day when we awake

and there will be no more plan..

la laa la la laa

ye heh heh hehh . . .

Author's Note

honest reviews please:)
tell me the corrections...of any type..
i will appreciate it...
rate it also:)

Reviews

[Megan]

"See if you can
Watch your step
and forget the plan"

i like this... the whole idea of letting go, and opening up your heart for a chance-an opportunity- for happiness. Often times we find ourselves wanting to, like you said, plan things, and have control over much in our life, but it doesn't always have to be complicated. Sometimes it can just be as simple as...I like you, and you like me, so let's just have fun and be...and that's the feeling I got from this poem.. so simple, and so true..

and the "la laa la la laa" and "ye heh heh hehh" was also a nice touch that just made it even better and realistic..

and i love the picture.

thanks :)

[Gomer LePoet]

Namaste this is a tra la la fiddely dee fun song. the grammar has been already pointed out. makes me want to grab your hand and skip along. and though planning is necessary to avoid catastrophes, sometimes it's just fun to do what the heart feels. thanks for sharing!

[Sweets]

You just have a little bit of grammar errors (I hope you don't mind)
1."You seems busy..
don't know why" It's supposed to be "You seem busy".
2."See I like you
and I think you too" I think you forgot to write "of" anyways, so it's gonna be "and I think OF you too".
3."Next day when we awake
and there is no more plan.." it's supposed to be "and there will be no more plan" but I think mine is a bit too wordy..it's supposed to be in future-tense cause of the line above it.
Other than that, it's such a great poem!
I think it's a bit like a song? ._.
Great work!

[Anthony M Smith Jr]

Ha-Ho,
Yes, I read these lines and reminded me of kids that play and then the words changed to how our kids think today(they all grow up in mind so fast due to technology), No doubt way off your intent or meaning of your words.
Life and Light!
TT-TTO-NI-K
Elk

[Kate Hunter]

awesome. I love the way the words flow. I love the concept inside of it. This one's going to the library.

[Rayne Stanton]

really good love the flow :)

[Enigma]

A minor correction in the 6th verse. "You seems happy" should be, in my opinion, "You seem happy."

Other than that, it was a beautiful, fun poem and a pleasure to read. Especially the "la laa la la laa..." :)

A job well done. Kudos. :D

[Rhonda]

very great poem :D

[Valentine]

This seems more like a song than a poem...and yes..life can produce many unexpected things..Kathie

[ForTheWorld]

i love it, uhm honestly it looks like a lyric of a song, it's melancholic...it's harmonic.. =D lovely nice work

[Coyote Poetry]

Thank you for the fun and entertaining poem to read. I needed a poem to make me smile this morning. A excellent poem.
Coyote