Scenes From My Balcony

i have written this while seeing different things around here on my balcony:)

Fight about parking vehicles

saying this is my place not yours..

People talking to each other how are  their lives going on..

Shopkeeper selling goods ,

or can say fooling people,

giving improper goods in higher prices..

Dogs are barking as they usually do..

Everybody is happy in their own way,

why couldn't you...

Fresh air is blowing saying to me..this is life my dear..

Don't wait and  see..

play cool..everybody has to play his part in a tough path called life..

nothing is easy my dear

but you can make it by yourself

Take right decisions,

Stay calm,

Think positive,

Believe in yourself,

Ignore others if required,

work hard,

and we will get there soon..

Author's Note

Please do review ..i hope you will like this piece..rate it also
honest opinions required :)

Reviews

[Haifa]

Take right decisions,
Stay calm,
Think positive,
Believe in yourself,
Ignore others if required,
work hard,
and we will get there soon..

That's very true. But too bad not many people do that. But I also hope that when they read those lines would feel and go ahead in their lives. Great job!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

This is so comforting, and hopeful, this brings life to everyday things like sitting outside a balcony. Beautiful job.

[Casper]

Every day things thrown into an imaginative poem. Very nicely down. Also very descriptive without using heavy words.

[Abdul Aziz]

I agree with Vandal429, I like the concept, but the execution needs to be improved. There are a few mistakes, like "unproper", "dog's". Removing the errors would automatically improve the credibility of the poem. And since you request honest opinions, I feel the poem will have more impact if you make the readers infer what you want them to by the scenery, without you spelling it out yourself.

[Short.Nerd]

I like it:) I thought it was cool how you used the different colors. Nice job!:)

[Vandal429]

I like the idea that forms the backbone of this piece, but for me it reads like there are parts missing. I think you succeed in putting the reader into the setting you would like to present, but not so much your reason for being there. I only think that is important because a lot of the time when we sit to observe or ponder things our beggining state of mind effects the way the things around us are taken in. I thought you did a good job selecting what of what was being seen to mention, but would have liked to have seen the impression they had upon you more, perhaps with a word or line. I also thougt it might have been nice to add an insight, though projected on what the subjects you are seeing are taking things in...like, what is the dog seeing as he peruses his surroundings...I also noticed you indicated the use of different colors to emphasize certain words...I know emphasizing certain words can often make or break a piece...but. make it succeed because of the way you structure it and present it to the reader and in the end you will have a much stronger piece...and be in a much better position for you piece succeeding in a periodical or book that appears only in black and white. I think with some refining this could be a very good piece of work, and thank you for asking me to review it. I hope you find some of my feedback helpful. Cheers.

[Awkward]

"Take right decisions,
Stay calm,
Think positive,
Believe in yourself,
Ignore others if required,
work hard,
and we will get there soon.."

Great ending! I loved this poem. Thank you for sharing.

[Amy Bumpas]

Yes, this is life, all around us. I really like looking through
the writers eyes and see what they see. Such a perceptive
person you are. I really liked these lines: Fresh air is blowing saying to me..this is life my dear..
Don't wait and see..
play cool..everybody has to play his part in a tough path called life..
nothing is easy my dear
but you can make it by yourself

[Misty Blue Eyes]

this is great i like it. made me smile

[Andrew Wright]

I saw it all as I read it... nice work!

[Little Abbey]

Very nice!