This is a very emotional poem, and I for one liked it a lot. Technically a few things are here and there (I've taken the liberty to edit your poem but it's just as a reference guide. You don't have to make the changes if you don't want to.) The idea behind this write is very heart breaking; Losing a lover. Love isn't easy but I guess that's the way everything in life is.
Why do people close their eyes when kissing?
Because they're so dazzled by each other;
In that short moment, with my eyes closed, I miss you.
I have loved you
Since the moment I saw you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't do
anything for you.
Forgiving is giving your hate
Just a little room in your heart.
How badly do I wish to show you my heart!
You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
How thankful am I to God
For sending you as a gift to me.
I don't have to remember you;
You're a part of me.
I smile, laugh and smell like you do.
I might forget you,
Since I am losing my memory,
But nothing can drive you
Out of my body.
Although you've never told me you loved me,
I know deep in my heart that you do.
Forgive me for leaving you.
Please!
For the last time
I have a favor to ask,
Forget me.
This is a very emotional poem, and I for one liked it a lot. Technically a few things are here and there (I've taken the liberty to edit your poem but it's just as a reference guide. You don't have to make the changes if you don't want to.) The idea behind this write is very heart breaking; Losing a lover. Love isn't easy but I guess that's the way everything in life is.
Why do people close their eyes when kissing?
Because they're so dazzled by each other;
In that short moment, with my eyes closed, I miss you.
I have loved you
Since the moment I saw you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't do
anything for you.
Forgiving is giving your hate
Just a little room in your heart.
How badly do I wish to show you my heart!
You were the best thing that ever happened to me.
How thankful am I to God
For sending you as a gift to me.
I don't have to remember you;
You're a part of me.
I smile, laugh and smell like you do.
I might forget you,
Since I am losing my memory,
But nothing can drive you
Out of my body.
Although you've never told me you loved me,
I know deep in my heart that you do.
Forgive me for leaving you.
Please!
For the last time
I have a favor to ask,
Forget me.
Such a deep and beautiful writing! The emotion is so powerful and strong, the love inside is so DEEP! Its so sad and touching, and how romantic it is! The ending is amazing...
'Forgive me for leaving you.
Please...
For the last time'
'I have a favor to ask.
forget me.'
I love these two staza MOST!
AMAZING!
very beutiful peice of writing you have here. it speaks of a lost love that can never be redeemed, but still the love of one another never dies. i agree with Undying Glory, the last stanza is very powerful. well done! :)
wow this sure was deep and potent work, i loved this a lot! this was so powerful and sweet, i love your stanzas, i really do. such wonders in this poem, methinks.
"I smile,laugh and smell like you do.
I might forget you,
but nothing can drive you
out of my body."
now i think that the line "i might forget you" isn't very appropriate here, to me the very sweet mood was broken here. i know what you're saying but i think you could simply omit that line.
i suppose this is love as a friend since you put
"For the last time
I have a favor to ask.
forget me.."
anyway that was a real strong stanza. awesome work!
hello(Namaste),
You can call me (or ashu),
I LOVE MYSELF...!! :-P I am methodical,practical and a great friend....!!! I never make snap decisions, preferring to weigh the pros and cons of every.. more..